Would you switch pedis?

Ecy · September 2012

I use a wonderful practice of pediatricians that I am in love with and don't want to switch offices. I also may be completely ridiculous for aking this question or entertaining the idea. I definitely don't want to be that over the top mom but I'm sure we have all had our moments.

Here's the deal: my DD's pedi is an older guy who is great and very knowledgeable. He's been a pedi since the mid 1970's. Everytime we are there, she is fine until he starts doing anything with her. It could be something as simple as listening to her breathing. As soon as he starts his examination of any sort, she cries and cries. No biggie, lots of kids cry at the doctor.

However, a couple of times recently we had to see another doctor in the practice who also seems great, she's younger but not fresh into the field and is a female. My DD didn't cry either time with her, even with the annoying check up stuff.

I don't know if it was a fluke that the two times she was with this doc that she didn't cry or that it's because she feels weird with the other doc being a man.

I'm not necessarily just trying to avoid my daughter crying at the doctor because I know this is normal and expected but if it's a comfort thing that can be handled, I'm wonderinf if we should switch? I don't want to insult anyone with the switch though.

What would you do?

dairygirl19 · September 2012

I wouldn't switch over that either.

Who knows what sets LOs off. Something in the room, too hot, too cold, the nurse looked at her wrong, the dr. smiled, the time of day you went etc.

There's a 9 in 10 chance if you switch she'll cry for that one too.

And TBH I'm more worried about whether or not I like and trust the advice of the dr. moreso than whether or not my kid screams the entire ten minutes she's in there. Good drs. with philosophies in line with mine are hard to find.

MrsI · September 2012

I would wait it out an see. Maybe as she has gotten older she is ok with the routine check up and it just happened to be the new Dr looking her over. If it continues than yes I would switch. I would want DD to feel comfortable at the Dr and maybe she just feels more comfortable with the female Dr. She may be able to sense more calmness or maybe her hands are warmer... what ever the reason this is the person she will see when she is at her worst for 18 years and she should be comfortable.

Ecy · September 2012

Thanks for the responses. I'm pretty torn & not completely sure the best route. I agree with a couple of the OP's that it's not a huge deal and that there could have been other factors involved as to why my DD didn't cry. She does seem more comfortable with her though.

I actually don't really know if either doctor really has the same philosophies as I do when it comes to certain topics. I haven't been in a situation to bring anything of that importance up yet. Makes me curious though. That would definitely persuade my decision but I don't even know how to figure this one out.

ThatWasAHoot · September 2012

DS is afraid of men. I am so glad we have a female pedi. The two times he's had a sick appt and saw a male dr, he was hysterical the whole time.

If your DD is afraid of men I would switch. Why put her through unnecessary upset when you know the cause? If not, maybe she was just off those two times?

rlyttle · September 2012

I would probably switch or at least keep switching back and forth. I would want my child to be comfortable and as she gets older she might rather have a female doctor anyway.

AimeeL85 · September 2012

I personally would not switch. I think she's a little young to be uncomfortable or afraid because he's a man (I guess I could be wrong about that). Our pedi said this age is the hardest for pedi visits because they start to cry as soon as they do even the simplest thing.

rnbeth477 · September 2012

I'm in the minority here, but I'd probably switch too.

memali26 · September 2012

AimeeL85:
I personally would not switch. I think she's a little young to be uncomfortable or afraid because he's a man (I guess I could be wrong about that). Our pedi said this age is the hardest for pedi visits because they start to cry as soon as they do even the simplest thing.

She's a little young to be uncomfortable from a "he's a male, I'm a female, this is weird" type of stand point, but it's pretty common for young children to be uncomfortable around or afraid of "strange" men. Especially if the pedi is an imposing man - large, tall, lots of facial hair, etc. My older DD will go to any woman, but is very wary of men, even some that she sees often. Just the way she is.

OP, I wouldn't switch just for some tears, some kids just hate going to the doctor. I would consider what a few others have pointed out - are YOU comfortable with the doctor? If you're more comfortable with a female doctor over a male doctor, your LO could be picking up on that. And if you are more comfortable with a female, then I wouldn't hesitate to switch. IMO, it's far more important that the parent and the child both be comfortable with a doctor than it is to spare a doctor's feelings.

Ecy · September 2012

Thanks for the responses everyone! I think I will go ahead and make the switch. Like many have said...not just for the tears but I think in the long run it will be better for her to have a female doc so might as well start now.

KaramelSutra · September 2012

I don't think I'd switch. Maybe the last times she's seen the other, she's been a little older and a little more mature? Doctors are scary. I'd cry too.

Ecy · September 2012

She has seen them both in in the last month. One was for a well check & with her regular doctor and the other time when she was sick & with the new doctor.

I called & made the switch since I already had her next well check scheduled. The woman I spoke with said it is very common for the little girls to be with the female doctors & vice versa. They were also very nice about it Thanks again for everyone's input.

NewFamily09 · September 2012

I definitely wouldn't switch over that, but I'm weird in that I would want my kids to have doctors that are the same sex as them. I have 2 sons, and my first choice is alway for a male doctor to see them. If I had a daughter, I would definitely prefer a female doctor. I think I'd be even more ademant about it with a daughter than a son for some reason. I think your daughter's crying is probably just a fluke, so if you're comfortable with her seeing a man, then just give it a few more appointmetns and see if she outgrows that phase.

pitterpatter129 · September 2012

It sounds like they are in the same practice right? Can't you just schedule your appointments with the other doctor? We switched doctors within the same practice when Nate was smaller. We saw a different pedi one day when our regular was out and we liked him better, so we started scheduling appts with him instead. No biggie.

meheron80 · September 2012

I would switch. We go to an all female practice so no MD issues but in public our LO will chat and giggle with female but with males she gives the evil eye. Even with males in our family she is much more hesitant around.

st.augbride · September 2012

Why not switch? Your LO is clearly more comfortable which is a good thing, unless this other ped's expertise is super specialized or anything like that. Otherwise, if the newer ped is good too, why not?

melissa0726 · September 2012

I would switch, it's not like you're leaving the practice, you're just going to a different doctor. My DD had a crazy aversion to men with facial hair when from the time she was born until she was about 8 months old, and if we had a male pedi instead of a female, we would have probably had to switch.

Whenever we leave a wellness appointment, we always schedule the next one on our way out. The nursing staff always asks, "Do you want to see Dr. X again next time?" giving us the option to choose a different doctor for the next appointment. Makes me think it isn't that uncommon to switch within the practice or rotate between a couple of the doctors regularly.

Mally2011 · September 2012

So you're going to stop seeing a doctor that you know and trust because your kid cries? At an age when crying at the doctor is normal?

Go ahead and put yourself into the category of parents who also does things like move their kid to a different class because he/she doesn't like the teacher, or to a different sports team because the coach didn't let them play enough.

Sometimes kids just need to learn to adapt to a situation.

kwitt22 · September 2012

That?s pretty normal for DD?s age. My DD does the same thing, when we see the male pedi at our office. For some reason she just does not like him examining her. Our pedi even commented that it was a good thing that she does it, meaning she is hitting developmental milestones like stranger danger..etc. She has seen the female pedi on occasion and likes her a lot better. However personally I prefer the male pedi. I just like him better and he is a lot more personable IMO.

meg1974 · September 2012

I would switch. Although I know it's perfectly normal for kids to cry at the doctor (after all, it isn't a pleasant experience for any of us!), I think it's important to do what you can to establish a positive relationship with doctors early on. She's a young baby, and I think she deserves to be comfortable with her doctor. Some doctors have better or different bedside manners than others. I also know people who purposely choose doctors who are the same gender as their LO b/c of the comfort level.

Another way to look at it is - would you switch if it were you in the situation? I would.

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