WWYD - Pool safety related

aggieamber05 · September 2012

My inlaws have a pool in their backyard. It had been discussed from a long time ago that there would be a fence put up. MIL keeps DD 3 days a week at her house. Granted DD is a while from crawling and pulling up...its coming. Well today my MIL tells me they arent going to put up a fence anymore, just have an alarm on the door, a lock up top AND never let her out of her sight. Well that sounds all great and dandy...but I've heard of things happenening even when you THINK all precautions are being made. We have a friend here in town whose daughter managed to make it out the door and was under water for over 20 min, managed to pull through with a LONG fight and has severe brain damage. This made everyone in town wise up on pool safety. Yet my MIL wont put up a fence...I bet it is because it looks bad, but she would never admit that.

I feel stuck. We cant make it right now without MIL watching her, and she pays for the Nanny that comes to our house the other 2 days. But I will not have her at that house if there is no fence. I am going to discuss with DH, but I just feel kinda stuck and stressed about it.

Thoughts?

in my life · September 2012

Would she be willing to watch DD at your house? I am really stringent when it comes to pool safety. To the point that we had our inground pool completely removed from our backyard when DD1 was a year old, a huge expense but well worth it for our peace of mind. I would not be okay with DD staying there if there wasn't a fence.

aggieamber05 · September 2012

in my life:
Would she be willing to watch DD at your house?

She did the first week or so back to work. And they will be getting their house remodeled about the time that DD is crawling...so she will have no choice. But I know she wont forever. She likes being at her own house. I just dont know how to tell DH that I wont allow DD over there if there is no fence...circumstances as they are with finances/nanny and MIL keeping her. (AKA no daycare expenses for us).

dixee.deluxe · September 2012

There's no fence at all? It's the law here that you need a fence if you have a pool.

aggieamber05 · September 2012

Above-ground or in-ground pool? In ground

Is that even legal to not have a fence? here, it is. Apparently in TX there are no laws about it. In Louisana the only law they have is there has to be a chime on the door.

How much do you trust your ILs to really not leave her alone? I would say I trust her quite a bit, however...theres always a chance of something coming up.

lindy27 · September 2012

You might of offer to pay to put the fence in. If she is offering free care, and paying for a nanny, I don't feel it would be right make her put a fence in if she doesn't want one or can't afford it. If she can afford it and just doesn't want to, maybe that would let her know you are serious and then she'd do it herself.

MarxieVonTrapp · September 2012

I don't know. We moved to a house with an in-ground pool when I was three and my parents never put up a fence. They gave me swimming lessons.

Ruby412 · September 2012

What about offering to purchase them a really heavy duty pool cover?

Laouli · September 2012

Living in sourth florida.. the threat of drowning is too real.. DS has been in swim/survival classes since he was 3 1/2 months old... We are also purchasing a home with a pool.. a fence is a must in my eyes.. or two LOCKED doors between the baby and the pool.. for example my sister has the sliding glass door with the lock on the very top.. and a screened in porch with a lock on the top of the door so you cant opoen it if you are a child....
Is there an option for a baby gate to be added to the barriers??

aggieamber05 · September 2012

lindy27:
You might of offer to pay to put the fence in. If she is offering free care, and paying for a nanny, I don't feel it would be right make her put a fence in if she doesn't want one or can't afford it. If she can afford it and just doesn't want to, maybe that would let her know you are serious and then she'd do it herself.

THey can definitely afford it. I wont mention numbers...but they have plenty of money. ALTHOUGH, I am more than willing to offer to pay for it just to prove my concern.

aggieamber05 · September 2012

Laouli:
Living in sourth florida.. the threat of drowning is too real.. DS has been in swim/survival classes since he was 3 1/2 months old... We are also purchasing a home with a pool.. a fence is a must in my eyes.. or two LOCKED doors between the baby and the pool.. for example my sister has the sliding glass door with the lock on the very top.. and a screened in porch with a lock on the top of the door so you cant opoen it if you are a child....
Is there an option for a baby gate to be added to the barriers??

Thats a good idea for the baby gate if a compromise cannot be reached. I didnt know you can do survival classes that young. I've been wanting to do those anyways. They had talked about enclosing the back porch at one time..but now thats not an option anymore either apparently. They are doing a very expensive remodel on their house...so I guess things are changing with what they want to do.

mrs+harlow · September 2012

I share in your pool fear. We have a pool and a small waterscaping pond ( which is not fenced but drained now due to mosquitoes). Sometimes, I want to just fill the pool in with concrete- and I am a swimming/water lover.

We are required to have a fence around our pool. The entire backyard is fenced off. A deck is around the pool with a fence ( about 3 ft high) and there is a sliding wood gate to get into the pool area. Next Spring, DH is going to add extra slats ( or whatever they are called) to the sliding gate because I fear that DS could squeeze through with the spacing as it is now). We are going to put a lock around the sliding gate. Our back door has a sensor that beeps the alarm when the door is opened.

We plan on getting DS in swim lessons ASAP.

Sunshine+Luv · September 2012

lindy27:
You might of offer to pay to put the fence in. If she is offering free care, and paying for a nanny, I don't feel it would be right make her put a fence in if she doesn't want one or can't afford it. If she can afford it and just doesn't want to, maybe that would let her know you are serious and then she'd do it herself.

I agree with this.

Ximena M · September 2012

My mom has a pool and can't for the day that I leave DD with her, which won't happen until she is older. She lives about 60 miles away so it a little different. My mom has told me that they will be putting up a fence around the pool, but from what she has describes I don't know if I'll be comfortable. I am going to get P a wrist alarm that goes off if she gets really wet. The one I found costs around $400. Part of me thinks that I'm irrationally scared of loosing P, but I just can't get over the feeling that I need to keep her save on things that I can control. I hope I won't be as bad when she gets older. Here is a link on swimming injuries.

https://www.edgarsnyder.com/swimming-pool/swimming-pool-statistics.html

edit $250 not $400

adrianacastro08 · September 2012

I was going to mention the $ factor, as fences are expensive, but that doesn't seem like MIL's concern. We have a pool and no-fence. We can't really afford to fence it in right now, and even those covers that will allow children to walk on them without falling in, are in the thousands range. So, for now, we will invest in locks for the top of the doors, door alarms, start swimming lessons early, and never leave her out of our sight (it's a small house so that shouldn't be an issue). Eventually, we will put in the fence, or buy those cover things. It's really your call. If you don't feel comfortable leaving your LO with MIL without a fence, then make it clear that she will have to watch LO at your house, or you will pay for the fence or cover.

dixee.deluxe · September 2012

Our fence cost $10K.

Just fartin'

geekychic · September 2012

lindy27:
You might of offer to pay to put the fence in. If she is offering free care, and paying for a nanny, I don't feel it would be right make her put a fence in if she doesn't want one or can't afford it. If she can afford it and just doesn't want to, maybe that would let her know you are serious and then she'd do it herself.

This is what I was thinking. You could prob do it pretty cheaply and quickly yourselves.

aggieamber05 · September 2012

geekychic:

lindy27:
You might of offer to pay to put the fence in. If she is offering free care, and paying for a nanny, I don't feel it would be right make her put a fence in if she doesn't want one or can't afford it. If she can afford it and just doesn't want to, maybe that would let her know you are serious and then she'd do it herself.

This is what I was thinking. You could prob do it pretty cheaply and quickly yourselves.

I already addressed this in an early reply.

aggieamber05 · September 2012

Ximena M:

My mom has a pool and can't for the day that I leave DD with her, which won't happen until she is older. She lives about 60 miles away so it a little different. My mom has told me that they will be putting up a fence around the pool, but from what she has describes I don't know if I'll be comfortable. I am going to get P a wrist alarm that goes off if she gets really wet. The one I found costs around $400. Part of me thinks that I'm irrationally scared of loosing P, but I just can't get over the feeling that I need to keep her save on things that I can control. I hope I won't be as bad when she gets older. Here is a link on swimming injuries.

https://www.edgarsnyder.com/swimming-pool/swimming-pool-statistics.html

edit $250 not $400

Can you give me more info on the alarm?

Thanks for the link! I am sending it to DH.

Ximena M · September 2012

Here is one.

https://www.safetyturtle.com/index.html

That isn't the one I had found before, but you get the idea. I research the sh!t out of products like this. I haven't started to do much research yet, but they all look about the same as far as safety goes.

dixee.deluxe · September 2012

softskate31:

As far as swim lessons saving your kid - don't count on that until they are at least 3 if they do well.

DD has been in swim class for 18 months. At 2 years old, she can pull herself out of a pool or hang on the side and shimmy to the steps/ladder if we get her to the edge - the problem is that when they fall in, they have a hard time getting back to the edge to grab it b/c they sink pretty fast. She still needs support to backfloat too.

Yeah, Edie started swim class at 6mo and had at least 4 sessions up to this point (23mo). We were at the pool the other day and she fell face first in 6inches of water and couldn't find UP.

I was told by the instructors that it wasn't for saftey reasons that young. It's so they know they can trust being around water.

geekychic · September 2012

aggieamber05:
geekychic:

lindy27:
You might of offer to pay to put the fence in. If she is offering free care, and paying for a nanny, I don't feel it would be right make her put a fence in if she doesn't want one or can't afford it. If she can afford it and just doesn't want to, maybe that would let her know you are serious and then she'd do it herself.

This is what I was thinking. You could prob do it pretty cheaply and quickly yourselves.

I already addressed this in an early reply.

My bad. I must have gotten scroll happy.

jacka02 · September 2012

It's the law here to have a fence around your pool. I would ask her why she decided to change her mind. If it still really bothers you i would bring it up to her again. I can see why you are worried, but there will always be something to worry about. If she is going to have an alarm on and a lock, i think your LO will be just fine and safe.

aggieamber05 · September 2012

Ximena M:

Here is one.

https://www.safetyturtle.com/index.html

That isn't the one I had found before, but you get the idea. I research the sh!t out of products like this. I haven't started to do much research yet, but they all look about the same as far as safety goes.

Thank you!

aggieamber05 · September 2012

jacka02:
It's the law here to have a fence around your pool. I would ask her why she decided to change her mind. If it still really bothers you i would bring it up to her again. I can see why you are worried, but there will always be something to worry about. If she is going to have an alarm on and a lock, i think your LO will be just fine and safe.

I just researched the laws in TX and we dont have it for residential..only for multi family dwellings as of now. The situation I mentioned up in the OP, the sitter had an alarm that beeped and a lock on her door too. It was the perfect storm and that child got out and fell in the pool. I guess if that hadnt happened around here, I wouldnt be AS obsessed about pool safety...even if you think all precautions are being taken. At least with pool fences, they are self closing and self locking. So there is no way the child can get in. I know anything can happen and there is always something to worry about...but I think this is a big one for me.

dixee.deluxe · September 2012

aggieamber05:

At least with pool fences, they are self closing and self locking.

The baby pool at my gym has one of these locks, but you have to pull on it REALLY hard to get it to lock. Most parents aren't realizing it doesn't lock.

snoangel79 · September 2012

Would she be willing to watch you LO at your house? My MIL lives on a frikin lake! You know that scares the shiz out of me! I said something once and she called me crazy! Like she would let my kids out of her sight! Whatevers, it can happen so quickly! I wouldn't feel comfortable at all! There is this alarm thingie that kids can wear on their wrist (it's about $200). That might be worth looking into!

eta: sorry just realized x mentioned that alarm!

dixee.deluxe · September 2012

I think I'm confused.

So, this is an inground pool in a yard that has no fence. And you are asking her to put a fence directly around the pool? Or around the entire yard?

aggieamber05 · September 2012

dixee.deluxe:

I think I'm confused.

So, this is an inground pool in a yard that has no fence. And you are asking her to put a fence directly around the pool? Or around the entire yard?

Around the pool. there is already one around the yard.

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