Does this make a name off limits?

~Kat~ · September 2012

SIL's youngest son is Alex (not Alexander). Alexandra is on our very short girl list. Is that too much? I hate the nickname Alex for a girl, so there is no chance of them being called exactly the same thing. DH isn't sure how he feels about it either.

FWIW, they gave their first son the same middle name as our first son. I totally don't care, but it seemed worth mentioning.

victoria+james · September 2012

If its in your top 3 choices I may ask her how she would feel about it. First names tend to be more off limits than middles...

strawberrytree · September 2012

Nope, not off limits if you're okay with it imo. I might mention to her that you're considering the name Alexandra, but you don't need to ask her permission or anything.

Do you think you would use a different nn for Alexandra (Lexi, Allie, etc) or just call her Alexandra?

~Kat~ · September 2012

I hate to ask because what is she going to say? No? I think she would feel like she had to say yes no matter how she felt.

I don't know about a nickname. We tend to use nicknames in our family, but I might just see what naturally comes out. Just not Alex. Offhand I like Lex the best.

persephonerose · September 2012

I would not have a problem using it. I probably would not give SIL a heads up either. Like you mentioned, what is she going to say? No you can't use it? If you and DH love the name and can agree on it then I would go with it. Alex, Alexander, Alexandra, and Alexandria are still pretty commonly used names. It would not surprise me to see more than one in a family.

moonglow_84 · September 2012

Mention it to her and see what she thinks. She may not even care, esp if she used the same mn that you did.
If you aren't going to nn her Alex, what will her nn be? Lexi? I think you'd have to establish some kind of nn early on otherwise once she gets to school her friends will call her by a shorter name b/c they won't say Alexandra to her all the time even if you do.

joyfullyfound · September 2012

Hm, I'd be inclined to say it's too much. If you could somehow guarantee that she would NEVER be called Alex, that would be different, but there's no way you can. Your preference might be that she isn't called that, but SHE might like Alex and want to go by that! And people at school are almost definitely going to called her that, and it'll most likely stick. My brother is Michael and my mom swore he would never go by Mike, but he hates Michael and has gone by nothing but Mike since he was 6 or 7, haha. Parents can only control it so much.

The fact that they used your son's MN is interesting though... and might justify your use of Alex.... but was the MN significant to your families somehow? Because that's different if you're both honouring a family member or something.