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Why does it have to come to this??

dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
in Blended Families
I haven't even opened the last bill from my attorney.  I don't even want to know how much money I will have to shell out to an attorney over all of these fights.  I am so tired of fighting.  Currently we are fighting over something that I thought was going to be so simple.  I am going on a trip out of town for a little over a week.  I told BF about a month ago that I was going out of town and would he like to take DS for this whole time.  He verbally said yes.  The contempt charge hearing is on the second day of my trip to europe.  My atty told his atty if it would be ok to reschedule as I had already my my trip plans a month or more in advance of this hearing being scheduled.  Attorney verbally agreed.  I thought great no problem everything is done just sign the paper.  Here we are now almost a month later he didn't sign the paper and is now saying he refuses to vacate the hearing and so now we have to file a motion and have a hearing about rescheduling the hearing.  Seriously.  Could he be anymore annoying.  I guess he doesn't care that all of this BS is costing each of us hundreds of dollars to our attorneys for one simple thing.
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Re: Why does it have to come to this??

  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
    Sometimes we reap what we sow.
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    It sucks. But it will never, ever get better until you understand the role you play in the dynamic. 
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  • dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member

    imagewendilea:
    Why would you expect him to make ANYTHING simple for you when you make every single thing difficult for him?
     

    I'm not really sure what exactly you are referring to?  There have been several times he has asked for exceptions to the court order and I have said yes on several occasions.  I gave him extra time on many occasions and in return he couldn't even meet me half way on a holiday.  I went to court and was awarded the child support my state allows which apparently made him and his GF pissed off.  In the best interest of my two year old I have asked that I be the custodial parent and given him standard visitation.  Other than disliking him and his girlfriend and not giving him primary custody of my two year old I'm not sure what I have done to make his life so hard.  He chose this path and since he's done it once before he knew he would have a limited amount of time with his son.

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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    imagedmndsr4eva:

    imagewendilea:
    Why would you expect him to make ANYTHING simple for you when you make every single thing difficult for him?
     

    I'm not really sure what exactly you are referring to?  There have been several times he has asked for exceptions to the court order and I have said yes on several occasions.  I gave him extra time on many occasions and in return he couldn't even meet me half way on a holiday.  I went to court and was awarded the child support my state allows which apparently made him and his GF pissed off.  In the best interest of my two year old I have asked that I be the custodial parent and given him standard visitation.  Other than disliking him and his girlfriend and not giving him primary custody of my two year old I'm not sure what I have done to make his life so hard.  He chose this path and since he's done it once before he knew he would have a limited amount of time with his son.

    You rearrange the CO when it suits you and then suddenly expect other people to follow it to a T when it's most convenient for you.  You harbor a deep resentment and hatred towards him and his GF and you complain about his involvment with DS.  You don't want him coming to Dr appts, don't want him bringing his GF, but openly admit that you have no problems being a hypocrite and bringing your BF to the appointments.  You moved your son away from BD and now complain about the distance involved.  You played games on 4th of July and even when BD was willing to drive all the way out (in contra to what the CO states) in order to have his son on his Court ordered date and time and you refused.  So really, you don't see how you've made his life difficult?  This Contempt hearing is the path you have chosen, and I wouldn't be agreeable to continuing it either.

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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    That sucks I'm sorry. He will figure it out. Hopefully sooner rather than later though. I wish people realized the only winners in these things are the attorneys
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  • kimmygirl77kimmygirl77 member
    imagejobalchak:
    imagedmndsr4eva:

    imagewendilea:
    Why would you expect him to make ANYTHING simple for you when you make every single thing difficult for him?
     

    I'm not really sure what exactly you are referring to?  There have been several times he has asked for exceptions to the court order and I have said yes on several occasions.  I gave him extra time on many occasions and in return he couldn't even meet me half way on a holiday.  I went to court and was awarded the child support my state allows which apparently made him and his GF pissed off.  In the best interest of my two year old I have asked that I be the custodial parent and given him standard visitation.  Other than disliking him and his girlfriend and not giving him primary custody of my two year old I'm not sure what I have done to make his life so hard.  He chose this path and since he's done it once before he knew he would have a limited amount of time with his son.



    You rearrange the CO when it suits you and then suddenly expect other people to follow it to a T when it's most convenient for you.  You harbor a deep resentment and hatred towards him and his GF and you complain about his involvment with DS.  You don't want him coming to Dr appts, don't want him bringing his GF, but openly admit that you have no problems being a hypocrite and bringing your BF to the appointments.  You moved your son away from BD and now complain about the distance involved.  You played games on 4th of July and even when BD was willing to drive all the way out (in contra to what the CO states) in order to have his son on his Court ordered date and time and you refused.  So really, you don't see how you've made his life difficult?  This Contempt hearing is the path you have chosen, and I wouldn't be agreeable to continuing it either.




    THIS!!! perfectly said....bravo!
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  • cole2144cole2144 member
    imagejobalchak:
    imagedmndsr4eva:

    imagewendilea:
    Why would you expect him to make ANYTHING simple for you when you make every single thing difficult for him?
     

    I'm not really sure what exactly you are referring to?  There have been several times he has asked for exceptions to the court order and I have said yes on several occasions.  I gave him extra time on many occasions and in return he couldn't even meet me half way on a holiday.  I went to court and was awarded the child support my state allows which apparently made him and his GF pissed off.  In the best interest of my two year old I have asked that I be the custodial parent and given him standard visitation.  Other than disliking him and his girlfriend and not giving him primary custody of my two year old I'm not sure what I have done to make his life so hard.  He chose this path and since he's done it once before he knew he would have a limited amount of time with his son.

    You rearrange the CO when it suits you and then suddenly expect other people to follow it to a T when it's most convenient for you.  You harbor a deep resentment and hatred towards him and his GF and you complain about his involvment with DS.  You don't want him coming to Dr appts, don't want him bringing his GF, but openly admit that you have no problems being a hypocrite and bringing your BF to the appointments.  You moved your son away from BD and now complain about the distance involved.  You played games on 4th of July and even when BD was willing to drive all the way out (in contra to what the CO states) in order to have his son on his Court ordered date and time and you refused.  So really, you don't see how you've made his life difficult?  This Contempt hearing is the path you have chosen, and I wouldn't be agreeable to continuing it either.

    This!

    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member

    Look, maybe you have finally hear what we have been saying on here and you are not pulling the same crap anymore and are being more agreeable.  All we know is that in the past you have wanted to exclude his GF from everything while allowing your BF to have full access and you have refused him court ordered visitation.  The past posts are why you are why people are so uneager to agree with you now, what you posted above would make you seem totally reasonable but we know that in the past, and not too distant past at that, you have been extremely combative and unreasonable.  Have you realized why we all thought you were wrong?  If the answer is yes, great, give it time and maybe he will start being reasonable too.  If the answer is no or if you are unsure, re-read your old posts and see where everyone is coming from.

    This is the first time I have read a post from you where I think there is a chance you are moving on and letting go, I hope it is real.  (And to those that do not read moving on and letting go in this post, she might be mad at him for what he did but she did not state she is pulling any crap in this post or that anything vicious or that she is still in love and angry at ex so hopefully it is a step.)

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • HavingLibrababyHavingLibrababy
    I don't like to be negative, but unfortunately you sound like what I deal with on the other side.  You have to compromise and if you do once or twice, it doesn't make you a martyr it makes you a good parent.  This isn't about you and your ex, it's about the child/ren involved and THEIR right to have both their parents in their lives. PP is right, what you reap is what you sow.. 
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