Kids w/mild delays and preschool

macchiatto · September 2012

I did an intro post here, but it was a while ago and I have mostly just lurked here. One of my boys had an EI eval a year ago and qualified for PT, OT and feeding therapy, along with EI family training. When he turned 3 we were able to keep all of those plus he qualified through the school system for an itinerant SN preschool teacher 1hr/wk and limited amounts of in-home PT and OT. He's also on the waiting list to see a developmental pediatrician.

His delays, hypotonia and sensory issues were all mild to moderate, and he's come a long way over the past year through all his therapies. He recently graduated from OT (still has mild sensory issues and poor hand strength that we work on at home; OT's now on a consult basis as needed) and he graduated from feeding therapy a few months ago. He recently scored at 28 months for gross motor on the Peabody (at age 43 months), though he has some scattered skills so that's a little misleadingly low. He's closer to low-normal now for both gross motor and muscle tone.

He is about to start preschool in the 3's class, along with his (typically developing) twin brother. They were in the same preschool second semester last year and it was wonderful for him. His teacher did tell me he needed a little extra help in a few areas--following directions, group games, etc. (He tends to zone out and wander a bit.) They were supposed to have the same teachers this year for the 3's class, but I just found out they will have new teachers this year.

Now, at last, to my question: His PT mentioned that sometimes it's better with milder delays not to tell teachers about them unless it becomes an issue; that they might treat the child differently and also have lower expectations, which can become self-fulfilling. What are your thoughts on that? His SN itinerant teacher, OTOH, gave me an extra copy of his IEP that we could give to his (private) preschool if we wanted. Especially since he's catching up in many areas, would you fill his regular preschool teachers in and share the IEP so they'd know what we're working on with him and where he might need a little extra help? Or just let him start the year with no preconceived notions for the teachers and see how it goes?

Sorry this is so long but I appreciate any advice or insights you all can give me.

wellfleet04 · September 2012

My 5 year old DD has what would amount to "mild to moderate" gross and fine motor delays that are caused by low muscle tone and a vestibular processing issue. I have always erred on the side of sharing information with her teachers with the idea that they could look for areas where she was hesitant/struggling, and find a gentle way to support her and help her be her best. I'm not sure they would have noticed her being hesitant on the playground, for instance, unless I mentioned it. Maybe they would have though she was just shy instead of scared. Instead, they are able to find ways to include her, and to gently push her.

Also, it's preschool, with fairly low expectations to start (at least in our playbased community preschool) and lots of room for various levels of development in different areas. My theory with my daughter was that when she was young was the time to really focus on therapies, getting everyone involved, etc. As they get older they become more aware of their own delays, and that's hard. I wanted everyone on her "team" to be helping us move forward. Her preschool teachers absolutely worked WITH me to help her on the things she needed help with.

macchiatto · September 2012

That makes sense; thanks for sharing your perspective! I really wasn't sure what to think of the PT's advice. My son is similar in that he also has vestibular (and proprioreceptive and spatial awareness) issues and that's why he hangs back on the playground, until recently refused to go on swings or slides, would get overwhelmed and lost during group games in the gym, etc. I'm hoping he does better this fall after the progress he's made over the summer but I don't know.

I guess there's a part of me that's hoping he'll just blend in by this point. I see what you mean though about the benefit of them being mindful of ways to support and encourage him in the areas he struggles with. I haven't met his new teachers yet and am really hoping they'll be as caring and patient as the teachers they had last year! This is really the only preschool we can afford times 2 so our options are limited.

funchicken · September 2012

My older DD has SPD and fine motor delays, and I did tell her teacher. We're doing OT, and DD is working really hard, but sometimes she gets frustrated when she can't do something that one of her peers can do. She also gets really upset if she gets her clothes wet, so I let her teacher know that it's better to let her change rather than make her sit in damp clothing. She just has to let the teacher know she's uncomfortable, and she has to get the clothes and change herself. Her teacher doesn't have lower expectations--she wants to help us get DD ready for kindergarten.

I guess if you think there are specific things that the teacher should know about, I'd let her know, but I wouldn't feel like I needed to point out every little thing.

macchiatto · September 2012

That makes a lot of sense and fits with my initial thoughts. His PT has a lot of experience and one of her daughters also had hypotonia and some gross motor delays so I didn't necessarily want to just ignore her advice, but what you all said definitely makes sense. I think I'll just take the approach I did last year (which seemed to work well) of hitting the highlights with his teachers of what he needs help with, and then checking in with them periodically for feedback.

smiling76 · September 2012

-auntie-:

There are a lot of reasons why this is a terrible idea.

1. The education of your child is a team effort, by withholding pertinent information you are being dishonest with the other members of your team. I've known of kids disenrolled because their parents weren't honest about their child's issues.

2. If you do not provide a label for your child, one will be provided for you. Lazy, spoiled, bratty and poorly parented are often the go-tos when teachers don't have the background to put his behaviors and skills in the perspective of a dx or delays.

3. He's almost 18 months behind peers in gross motor and has issues in other domains. The teacher is going to notice. And she's likely going to dread having to contact you to discuss her concerns about his delays and suggesting you have him evaluated. Teachers hate to be the bearers of this sort of message; don't do this to her.

4. Teachers talk. If he's in the same school, you can be certain his previous teacher has given her a heads up on your sons and your family.

I don't know that I would necessarily share his IEP, but I would definately give this person a heads up about your son's specific areas of strengths and weaknesses. They may be able to support his therapy in their day to day activities. When you see the developmental pedi, they could be valuable reporters in determining what, if anything, is causing his delays. I have always made my son's private therapist available to his teachers if they felt the need for mosre support than the school offered.

I only ever once kept silent on DS's issues. I wanted him to attend a private reading school that didn't take kids on spectrum at the time. He'd already been denied a place at my first choice school. I kept my mouth shut; but his teachers knew exactly what was going on and it was a great experience for him. But everyone else who cares for him in my absence has all the information they need to care for him. I've never had anyone "expect less" because I shared his dx; half the time I have to remind people who've known him a long time that certain things are harder for him.

#2 is right on. I have also thought about not saying anything--but have found that it's true--they will come up with other labels then--and those won't be as nice as just "sensory issues" and such.

I would explain how far he's come--what has worked and what you are working on at home, etc etc. They understand. If there is something that is more unique then maybe printing out info and giving it to them. I did that for his speech apraxia because they weren't super familiar with it and they all (even the director of the daycare) thought it was really great. They said it opened their eyes and actually they've even ordered special tools for him to use during the day for his sensory issues, which is way better than him getting in trouble and sitting in timeout when all he needed was something to fiddle with.

macchiatto · September 2012

That's great, smiling! I'm glad they were good about working with him and meeting his needs.

wellfleet04 · September 2012

macchiatto:
I guess there's a part of me that's hoping he'll just blend in by this point.

Totally get this. But my thoughts are that in preschool kids (both yours, and the others in the class) don't really notice their own/other kid's delays. It becomes much more of an issue as they get older. My DD is only 5, but in the last year or two it has be much harder to bring her to therapy (lots of resistance, some embarrassment, etc), and other kids have, for the first time, noticed she can't do some of the things they can. At 3, most kids are totally self-involved. My feeling was that that was the time to do as much as we could to catch her up as far as we could by kindergarten. Having her teachers reinforce what we were doing at home/in therapy was critical.

macchiatto · September 2012

That makes a lot of sense, wellfleet. Thanks! And yeah, even though it was hectic having 6-7 therapy appts per week all spring plus preschool two mornings a week, I had that same thought; that we want to do all we can now to help him catch up so hopefully by K4 or Kindergarten he'll be able to keep up with his peers fairly well. Several of his therapists had initially said he may be pretty much caught up by the time school started this fall but we're just not quite there yet.

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