Working Moms

sobbed all the way to work today / vent

I could seriously not get ahold of myself, my eyes are still puffy :( 

Back story - E started daycare three weeks ago. Everything has gone really smoothly, I love the daycare, love my new job, feel really lucky, etc. etc. When I initially started E I was very easy-going. I trust my DCP so I wrote them a schedule, explained about my baby and gave a few hints, but did not make a lot of requests. In fact, I only made one. I knew she was about to walk and I asked that if she did it in daycare that they just not tell me. I told them I wanted to believe that whenever she took her first steps at home that those would count. I reiterated this to both teachers and the director.  

Well, yesterday she walked at daycare. I should not know this, but it was told to me this am. I should be excited but I'm not , I'm just really, really, mad. She even said, I know I'm not supposed to tell you but.... WTF!?! Don't fing finish that sentence. I held it together in the classroom but was seriously crying hard core by the time I got in my car. I know my facial expression probably conveyed everything I didn't say as I'm not good at controlling that, but I tried to say, oh that is ok, I need to know, etc. I don't know why this affected me so much but it is killing me.

Thanks for reading! 

DD1 - Evelyn Riley - 9/30/11
DD2 - Charlotte Avery - 1/27/14




Re: sobbed all the way to work today / vent

  • That's awful - so sorry! 

    I know when I worked in the infant room at a daycare, I would say to the parents about the new walkers, "you'd better keep an eye on that one - looks like she could walk any minute!" I didn't want them to think they were missing anything.  

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  • I'm sorry :( that was very inconsiderate of them. I'm sure she was just very excited because she cares about your LO so much. I hope your day gets better.
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  • I'm sorry and for what it's worth my girls started daycare a month ago and I've cried all the way to work twice now...it's a hard transition.

    Try to remember what is important is the first time you see them take steps.  ((hugs)) 

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  • That stinks. When I worked DC I never told the parents those things unless they requested that I did.

    Other milestones will happen, try not to dwell on it.

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  • OMG - you have such hugs from me!!! I remember feeling this way about my first son, and I almost told our nanny that I didn't want to know in the same way you told your day care.

    My feeling about milestones now is that they are so much less definitive than I imagined they would be before I had kids. My second now says "meh meh meh" - is that mamma? Who knows. I remember the first one rolling over for the first time, but so many other milestones are incremental, even walking really. I have seen my second pick one foot up and put it down a little bit ahead of the other - but is that really a step? I guess what I'm saying is that I totally understand your feeling upset, but if you try to think of it more that you are experiencing him starting to walk vs. you missed his first step, that might be a good way to frame it for yourself.

    The other thing to think about is it is entirely possible for any of us - working moms or SAHMS - to have been out of the room when they REALLY took their first steps, and we'd never know.

    I think even those of us who love our work and are really happy with our DCPs feel the pangs of not being with our kids more than we are at times, and maybe that's why this is bothering you so much. Just remember that feeling occasional sadness that things aren't different doesn't mean that they aren't good as they are.

  • I'm so sorry  :-(

    I really love DD's daycare too but..  I feel like sometimes they are clueless to what might be upsetting to a Mom who works fulltime.   

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  • Sorry you feel this way. I know we sometimes feel a lot of guilt about working and leaving them at day care (and maybe missing things). But think about the fact that your baby is healthy and is able to take those steps and you have a life together ahead of you, with many many firsts!!! Hope you feel better!
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