Intro

Hello all.  I'm a mom of 2, 5 yo DS and 3 yo DD.  We have been going through a very long and drawn out process for the last year trying to figure out what is going on with our DS.  I'm going to try to condense this as much as possible, lol. Around age 3.5 he started chewing on stuff really bad.  Like chunks of wood out of our window sills, the corner of walls, peeling leather off of furniture and chewing on it, pieces of his toys, blocks, puzzle pieces, etc.  He never ate it, would just chew on it.  We took him in for blood work and to the dentist and everything came back fine.  We're military and saw a whole bunch of doctors telling us all different things.  Pica, not pica, pica... it was kinda like playing ping pong.  

As he got a little older he started to develop sensory issues.  Mostly noise but he does have some touch stuff, like he's not super cuddly and he doesn't like his hair dried off or his teeth brushed.  He will cover his ears a lot.  I haven't really been able to pick out a pattern with that.  It's not always loud noises.  It's ALWAYS public toilets, but it's other stuff too sometimes.  He doesn't chew on stuff as bad as he did, but it's mostly his fingers now, although the occasional foreign object as well.  We did buy him a sensory chew toy and he has a weighted vest that his OT recommended we get him.  Honestly, his OT's haven't been a huge help.   We saw a develop pedi down in san diego and at first said he had asperger-like tendencies and some aspects of adhd but not enough to diagnose him with anything.  

My biggest concern right now, though, is the behavior.  He is so argumentative and gets so upset all.the.time.  I can usually calm him down pretty quickly.  We talk a lot about how we are supposed to act and social skills and manners, etc, etc... but it feels like I spend half my day trying not to argue back with him and try to teach him that this is not how we treat people. Everyone I know has 'normal' kids and don't really understand what I'm going through.  I've heard everything from he's probably just a strong-willed child, to stop feeding him apples.  I just.... everyone says I should be enjoying my kids at this wonderful young age and I honestly think who ever said that is flippin' nuts!  I don't know what to do for him and for our family and I feel bad because I just want him to be happy and I want to be able to help him with whatever it is he's struggling with.  I just want answers.  

I apologize for all of that.  I don't know if I'm asking for anything... I just wanted to ramble apparently  I just figured that if anyone would have the slightest idea of the emotions running through me right now, you ladies would.