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What's your take on a "meal calendar" after the baby?
After I had my daughter, random friends and family would stop by and bring meals, but there wasn't any schedule or anything, and we got a lot of meals the first 2 weeks, but nothing after that.
My good friend just had her baby and I got an email from a stranger that said "Bring a meal for Alicia", clicked the link and it was a monthly calendar that you could pick a date and sign up to drop off a meal at their house. They had also listed their food likes and dislikes, allergies, etc. My first thought was "huh...that's kind of tacky, but also kind of convenient!" I ended up picking a date when their baby was about 4 weeks old, dropped off dinner, hung out with them for about an hour, it worked out perfectly.
I've had a few friends say that they want to bring us meals after the birth. The website my friend used is www.takethemameal.com . I've thought about setting up a calendar, and then having my BFF send an email out to our group of friends right after the baby comes. It would only be sent to people that I'm very close with.
Also, we did this a few months ago for our friend when her husband had open heart surgery, and a lot of us volunteered to bring meals over.
So, wdyt? Tacky? Wonderful?
I'm afraid of seeming "meal-grabby" lol...
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Re: What's your take on a "meal calendar" after the baby?
I had a friend who had her twins very early. One son passed and the other was in the NICU for 125 days. One of her close friends set up a meal delivery calendar through mealtrain.com. I thought it was a great idea considering their circumstances - they were driving back and forth to the hospital 3-4 times per day and her husband is disabled.
I think if someone does it for you and people sign up that is great. I wouldn't do it yourself and I wouldn't send out a bunch of emails or reminders. Maybe one email and one Facebook post and then let people do it on their own.
I agree.
We had a meal train set up for us and it was wonderful.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
How sad for your friend.
My BFF and I already set up a calendar so we could play with the website, and she said she'd send out one group email in the first few days after the birth. There definetly wouldn't be any reminders or nagging about signing up! I'll be having a c/s, and I have a 3 year old daughter, and my DH works 70-80 hours every week and will only be able to take the first week off work (which I will be in the hospital for 3-4 days anyway).
See that's pretty much exactly how I felt about it when I got it. I ended up taking my friend Red Robin takeout, and she said I won the award for best dinner, ha!
I've only had 3 people specifically mention dropping off a meal at this point. When I was pregnant with my older daughter, no one mentioned before the birth, and then I got all of these randome calls and texts the first few days at home. I was thinking this might alleviate that a little bit...?
I go back and forth on this. I think it's a great idea. I benefitted from my parents extreme generosity for SIX months. While the supply got lower as the weeks passed- they kept supplying us w/ food all through my leave and then when I returned to work. It was wonderful.
But ASKING people to do this - that's where it bugs me. Ironically, I've been asked to do this twice, but in situations where there was a loss. A coworkers DH died a year ago and she has 2 young girls at home - I was like "of course I'll help".
I think the difference with that, though, is that w/ a baby - chances are these people have already given you something. To go back and ask them again for MORE- that's where I have issue with it. W/ my coworker losing her DH - it was unexpected and life altering. At least w/ a baby - in reality, you know you're PG, you know when you're going to have your baby - you could plan ahead and plan your own stash of meals.
KWIM?
I wouldn't be totally put off by the idea. As I was the recipent of tons of food- I KNOW how helpful it is and I usually try now to make food for new parents.
But - there is still that part of me that finds it odd to go back and ask your already generous friends and family for more.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Totally, this is exactly how I feel. I was put off by it for about 2 minutes, and then signed up, and was really happy to be able to contribute, and it worked really well for keeping a schedule set up.
If it matters, I don't have any family nearby, and DH's family is local but they suck and are annoying and I don't want them coming over, even to drop off meals, ha.
I do have a fabulous group of local girlfriends, about 20 that I'm very close with. Most of them have already bought or made some kind of baby gift for this baby.
I have a small group of friends who already does this (I'm a little late on the baby train). So I would almost bet it would happen for me...but I won't set it up myself...it's something they will do.
It isn't as formal, when I'd participate I'd just call the new mom or friend who had surgery or whatever the "event" was and set up a night that worked for them. I've also made ready to freeze meals and just drop them by so if they didn't want them that night they could easily freeze them.
I plan on making a few dozen freezer meals myself in December so I have some things ready in the freezer for the first few weeks we are home with the baby.
Henry Cavill...You're welcome!
BFP #3: EDD 1/10/13 **DS born 12/30/12!!!**
BFP #2: MC 7/2/11 @ 12 weeks
**Missing our February '12 LoveBug**
BFP #1: MMC discovered on 12/6/10
I was thinking about making some casseroles, and crockpot meals to put in the freezer so when the LO comes I have one less thing to worry about. Of course, I won't turn away a meal a dear friend brings me either.
All of this.
I'm tritto-ing. I tend to lean towards the "if a mutual friend heads it up with no imput/hinting from you = sweet gesture, if you set it up and just make them the figurehead = icky"
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
This. I wouldn't do it for myself but if someone offered to do it for me I'd be all for it. However, if a friend had one set up and asked me to bring a meal I would. I just wouldn't set one up myself. NMS
Honestly, you are having a baby, people do it everyday and feed themselves just fine. I think it's beyond ridiculous to start asking friends to bring meals just because you gave birth. I don't care where you live, pizza and chinese deliver. Make a phone call, pay for your own food.
If I had a friend that just had a baby and I was going to visit, I would call and say, "what can I bring everyone for lunch?". When people came to see me and the baby, they asked if they could bring anything. I also knew I may not have been able to go to the market for a while, I went to the supermarket and stocked up before I gave birth. This is not exactly something that's a surprise, be prepared. You are not sitting Shivah, I don't feel the need to fill your freezer for a month.
I'm sorry, but it's really starting to piss me off that everyone feels that others should take care of and pay for their entire lives. Maybe I seem like an ass, but feeling entitled to be fed by your friends because you gave birth is just a new form of crazy.
ETA: The fact that you start off by complaining that people were nice enough to bring you food, but only during the first 2 weeks and didn't space it out enough for your liking, and now you want to make sure it is spaced out correctly, doesn't make me think very highly of you.
This makes me laugh! I honestly wasn't complaining about anyone bringing us food last time. I just was comparing that experience in my own head (full fridge for 2 weeks, so much food that some got wasted) to my friend's recent experience (spacing people out 2 days per week for 4-6 weeks) and her way seemed to make more sense than mine did.
Thank you everyone for your honest opinions, this is why I posted here!
Personally, I think 2 weeks is plenty of time to adjust to a new baby (even twins). For my first baby I got 2 meals that my parents brought when they visited. Otherwise my DH cooked a bit and I did the rest. For the 2nd baby my mom came and stayed with us for 2 weeks...but more for help with my toddler then to cook meals for us. Same thing with my 3rd (except it was my MIL who came). She basically did the same...watched the other two little ones...got the oldest off to school.
I suppose if there were circumstances where the baby had to stay in the hospital and other kids were home, etc. then I could see it lasting longer.
BTW...I also think it is kind of weird for the MTB herself to set up a timeline for other people to make her and her DH's dinners. I would think it would be more like a good friend who did this and only asked other "good" friends.