DS is actively seeking alone time

Re: DS is actively seeking alone time

• malcivar member

  September 2012

  Thanks for the reply auntie.  Unfortunately, he doesn't get much play time with peers on account of both myself and DH work and our hours SUCK so it's not like we're coming home and taking him to the park.  We could do better on weekends though.  

  He's not spending an inordinate amount of time alone - just a few minutes at a time.  I've just started noticing it more.  Not sure why but just am.

  I'll be paying more attention to see if I can figure out why he's seeking the alone time - or what prompts it.  Do you think his little brother could have something to do with it?  I know when he's crying I too want to run into a quiet room or maybe it's he ends up 'alone' when everyone's paying attention to the baby?  

  Thanks for your help!

   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• malcivar member

  September 2012

  -auntie-:

  It's not entirely a bad thing, seeking time alone. It shows he's capable to entertaining himself. A lot of kids on spectrum can't; their play is passive screentime or an adult directing things for them.

  It could be about the baby. Most LOs with ASD have a fair amount of sensory issues going on. They're noisy, smelly, covered in drool, food and snot and just not very appealing. DS is pretty good with preschoolers, but he's not a fan of babies or toddlers. When my niece's younger son was a baby and toddler I watched him from time to time and DS really struggled with drool and diaper changes- like gag reflex issues. DS's cat has a food allergy and limited mobility from a stroke- cleaning accidents and even bathing a messy kitty are pretty regular activities at Chez Auntie- DS doesn't love it, but he always pitches in for his beloved cat.

  That's one of the things we noticed early on with him - he's not the "entertain me" type of kid.  He's happy left to his own devices, although I'll admit that this may have contributed to us overlooking his lack of engagement with other people.  We just assumed he was entertaining himself.  

  I think, if anything, the crying gets to him because as soon as the baby starts crying, he'll start yelling too and he gets a bit agitated.  

  Awww, poor cat.  My dog's got a similar type problem - she's one of that 1-2% of dogs that gets spaying incontinence.  She's pretty good if you take her out to do her business every 2-3 hrs but if you miss it - it's pee time, wherever that might be - the floor, the couch, the bed if she's asleep when it happens, you get the idea.  Nothing like waking up covered in pee.   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• rakle99 member

  September 2012

  From what I understand of early childhood development (I'm a k-12 teacher), children usually don't really play with their peers until about 3-4 years of age, sometimes longer if there is a delay. Before that they either play alone, or play next to other children but don't really interact with them (it's called parallel play). I think this is normal for his age. But of course, if it's something you are concerned about, don't be afraid to contact his pediatrician!
  

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