I can't decide what's worse....

HenHen25 · September 2012

1. Having to respond to all the "I'm sorry's" and "these things just happen's" or

2. People who knew about the pregnancy/baby and say nothing at all.

Ugh, I wish life would just go back to normal.

Laurakat81 · September 2012

I can relate. It drove me crazy when people wouldn't acknowledge it at all but it was also a relief when I didn't have to deal with stupid comments.

Who cares if "these things just happen"!? It doesn't make it any less awful and heartbreaking.

People will never get it. (((hugs)))

DeeC12 · September 2012

Agreeee!!

SopranoMama · September 2012

I totally know what you mean! Almost worse, I had to deal with people awkwardly looking at my belly recently. There were a very few people who knew about my pregnancy before school let out in the spring... so they were expecting me to come back to work with a nice bump. Super awkward to have to explain that no, I'm not just 'not showing yet' I lost the baby. And *THEN* to have to try and comfort them because they felt bad about 'making [me] uncomfortable'. UGH. "I'm so sorry" is plenty, don't keep going on about it so I have to make you feel better about 'feeling bad' for me. *le sigh* I think it's one of those things people will never get if they haven't gone through it themselves.

EEN09 · September 2012

I agree 100%. I can hardly bear sympathy but people who know and ignore it are upsetting as well. I think that the most helpful response I got was from a friend who has gone through a m/c before and simply said "oh, ***!"

katharine25 · September 2012

I never really responded to the "I'm sorrys" -- I figured they were the people that understood enough that I didn't need to.

The number 2 people are the worse IMO

MeenaJo · September 2012

I was actually shocked at myself for being so upset at those that didn't say anything. It really hurt my feelings. Then I realized that sometimes *I* don't say anything to others when things happen because I think "I don't know them well enough" or "I don't know what to say" so maybe that's how those that didn't respond feel. Either way, I've learned it's better to say a simple "I'm sorry" than nothing at all. I actually told people on facebook, just felt like I needed support. The comments I got really made me feel better (most anyway) but the people that didn't respond made it so much worse. Now I feel like I have a grudge...silly.

Mommabear413 · September 2012

I agree. We didn't even tell most people we were pregnant, but everyone knew we were trying. I felt the need to let them know so that I didn't have to hear people asking "how's the baby-making?" or "any news yet?" But now everyone keeps calling to say I'm sorry and I HATE it! I understand its a difficult situation and that most people don't know what to say and saying "I'm sorry" is a knee-jerk reaction. But I agree with being even more upset with people who don't say anytthing. I've come to the conclusion that there isn't anything I want to hear, just to know that my friends and family love me.

lamo1210 · September 2012

Part of me is getting really sick of the texts from family saying "How are you today?" Or when I came back to work the day after my dr found no embryo I just kept being ask why I was there, and told I should be home. (since I work with toddlers)

I feel like crap, but I can't NOT move on.

JerkStore213 · September 2012

Sometimes I find myself sitting here wondering who knows and hasn't said anything vs who just doesn't know. Like trying to guess who heard through the grapevine and hasn't said anything. I feel like such a diick for thinking about it, it's so dumb.