Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Jessicabecherer89
member
Re: I have to vent..
You know what... I hear ya...
I found out I was pregnant when I went to get a double scope done for my indigestion, NON digestion, heartburn, vomiting, horrible tummy troubles- right before they doped me up, the checked my urine test and found the source of my digestive woes- I pretty darn preggo! My "boyfriend" was sitting with me at the time, and we both went white- we had not been together even a year, and I had come out of a pretty bad divorce prior- a baby??? Not exactly what we had planned!!!
Well- I always thought I couldn't have kids- 10 years of thinking that, and suddenly here I was. The bf and I were into the party scene- NO DRUGS, but we did go out and drink quite a bit- because of my stomach problems, I had cut way back on the drinking, and then when I found out I was pregnant- of course I quit immediately! No problem there! I had a little miracle growing inside of me- the bf... um, yeah, not so much.
He was silent on the way home (we were roommates) and of course as soon as we walked in the door- he proceeded to get himself schnockered. I left for a while to let him process, and when I came back, he was talking with our other roommate... they were both wasted. He proceeded to tell me no way we should have this baby, I trapped him into a relationship, I should get an abortion, and on and on- I let him have his rant, and told him I was in no way taking anything he said that night personally- and I didn't. It was the months of drinking, shooting off his mouth, not coming home, no communication- yeah, that I took personally. I'm talking about a sweet, smart, amazing man that suddenly became a thorn in my side, and sinking me into a depression far greater than I could imagine- he was taking away EVERYTHING positive about my pregnancy- I had a tiny human growing inside me and I was elated- and then constantly dragged down by him and his inablility to be there for me, and the drinking- you would not believe the stuff he said to me when he was drinking! He has never laid a hand on me- thankfully... because if he had- ohhhhhhh I would have laid him flat!
Now, here I am, six months pregnant, and finally got the stones to cut him off. I will not interfear with him being a part of this baby- but I am not going to have him around me when drinking- he is a guy who gave me a baby, but I will not let him take the joy of this pregnancy away from me. If he is drinking while I am in labor, he will not be allowed in the room. If he actually wants to go to the birthing classes, fine, but if he is drinking, he can leave- I have my mom to be there for me (THANK GOD). I am no longer in a relationship with him, so what he does- that is all on him. It is no longer my concern...
BUT- it sucks. All I want is to be held, snuggled, loved, and cherished for the life I am creating, and for what it is going thru. It is a desperately lonely place to be- pregnant and without a partner... and ever notice how suddenly people around you act as though you have the plague? Yup. LONELY!!!
And unfortunately, I am one of those incredibly "randy" pregnant women- so being single SUCKS!!!
So, yeah, it sucks, it's lonely, its depressing- but it is also incredibly liberating... I mean, we are the ones who get to be a role model for our children- they are the ones that are missing out on an incredible experience! It is going to be hard, terrifying, frustrating, heart breaking, all consuming, etc- but just think of who you will be in your child's eyes... Instead of being pathetic and chasing after men who obviously don't give a rats ass about these babies- so they don't deserve them! They have no clue, no connection to this child like we do- so I actually pitty them and the *** train they ride on- One day, they (hopefully) will be full of regret- and it will be too late... They will have missed out on the day to day wonder of a newborn... and we will have it all!
Chin up, I get where you are coming from... be strong, hold onto the positive, and be the person you want your baby to look up to- Thats my mantra.
I wish there was a like button for this post.
That sounds exactly how i found out. I found out when i was in the ER for stomach problems. Its just sad that men that act like real men arent. Ive let him soak it in for the shock factor because I mean i was in shock myself when I found out because I would have no way of thinking I was pregnant but i guess hes just not the type of person i thought he was. And yes it sucks because i really miss him and that manly touch of being hugged and kissed and cuddled but Like you said I dont want him in my babys life when hes going to act like hes being forced and who knows what could happen. Thanks for reading my vent ladies. Most of my friends dont have kids so they dont understand so i have to vent some where.
I don't think anyone is really REALLY prepared for when they get pregnant- but you roll with it, and celebrate the amazing thing your body is doing- you get excited, you get terrified, you are elated, you sob your head off- it is a rollercoaster of emotions. Having someone with you for the ride is a true blessing, unless that someone is throwing up all over you- kinda ruins the rush! LOL
Its hard being pregnant alone, especially when your friends don't have children- but another perk of that- you most certainly are able to seperate your true friends from the crappers! The people that stand by you now are the ones to keep in your life- the ones that make it miserable or just disappear- those are the ones to keep at a distance.
Also- I talk a good game, but I am far from perfect in controlling my emotions, and I am not always so confident- it is HARD HARD HARD going it alone- but I have been trying so hard to focus on the positive and push away my negative doubts...
You sound like your head is in the right place... keep it up! YOU WILL BE FINE! Even when it doesn't feel like it.
Later on in life, he will regret what he did... if he has a soul!