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December 2010 Moms
Nicole0012
member
T & Ps needed... and advice?
Nicole0012
member
H & I got the shock of a lifetime yesterday when we found out that H's dad walked out on H's mom and is planning on filing for divorce. They have been married for over 30 years, are incredibly active members of their church, super conservative, and have always talked about the importance of working through difficult times in marriage. (They have really pushed H & I to do counseling while we have been separated).
This is a SHOCK. No warning signs, nothing. Apparently H's mom is devastated (as are H and his two sisters) and wants to talk/do counseling, etc. His dad is adamantly against it, said he hasn't loved their mom in 5-6 years, and is just done. H is a complete wreck, especially given what him and I are going through.
Those of you who have been through this (parents, close family abruptly ending), what is the best way to be comforted? My heart breaks for their family, and especially my husband who is going through such a rough time as it is with our broken family. T&Ps welcome, and advice too!
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Re: T & Ps needed... and advice?
I'm sorry that this is happening. It's a shame to see any marriage end, particularly one that has survived 30+ years. My folks divorced after 20+ years (I was a young adult), and of course I was bummed about it, but after a little time passed and I was able to see how much happier they were without each other, it gave me a new perspective. It's going to be tough for your H's whole family, particularly his mom, and hopefully your H and his sisters (and you) can be strong and supportive through it all. My brother could not be supportive of either of my parents. He was just so upset that they would divorce, and he never got over it. He hasn't spoken to either of my parents for probably 10 years, and he doesn't speak to me either unless I reach out about something specific. It's just so sad.
Sending lots of good thoughts your way.
Eta my reply looks weird but its cause the mobile site won't let me post symbols. So that was supposed to be thoughts and prayers and a sad face at the end. Sorry!
My parents got divorced when I was 21. It was rough. My dad was very upset. I talked to him more during that time than any other time in my life. I feel like I have actually grown a lot closer to both my mom and dad since they have been divorced. It was a rough time. They both are happier even though I think they both have regrets about their marriage (things they should have done differently and maybe they'd still be together).
So sorry your H is going through this. T&P's coming your way. My advice would be to just be there for your H, his dad, his mom however you can be even if it's just a listening ear. Try not to give too much advice unless it is specifically asked for - it may not be wanted otherwise.