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3rd Trimester
Court7803
member
Being asked if your having twins ... rant
Court7803
member
Basically, you're saying im huge.
I work in an office with a ton of old ladies that have absolutely no couth when it comes to talking about pregnancy. For the second time while waiting for the elevator I was asked if I was having twins. I find it extremly rude and offensive. Thanks for making me feel bigger than I already am. I still have over a month to go, so Im sure by then they'll be asking me if im going to deliver right then and there.
Do they not remember having kids and how your stomach is supposed to look? Im not any bigger than I should be at this point and I wasn't a stick to begin with. I try not to be rude back, but it is getting very difficult to be proffesional and bite my tounge.
Ugh. needed to vent.
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Re: Being asked if your having twins ... rant
I noticed a lot that people don't think when they ask questions to pregnant people and often will ask something just to make conversation. Most times they don't mean it as offensive, they just don't know what to say.
And honestly, if it wasn't the twin question it would be something else. Smile, say no and move on, don't let it get to you. It's not worth your time because they probably aren't trying to offend you.
I would say "Why do you ask"?
It's not a rude response but it does give them the opportunity to realize that that either they're talking without thinking or they're telling you that you're bigger than you should be (even though you aren't)
I had a male client ask me how many pounds I've put on. At first, trying to keep the situation light, I just said "So far I'm right on target with weight gain" and then he pressed "You didn't answer the question, I said how many pounds" at which point I said "You mean to tell me that you made it this far in life without a woman slapping you for asking about weight gain"? Served with a big smile
When I get sick of people asking me the same stupid question over and over again, I start making up crap. Then I'm amused instead of annoyed. I'd tell people I was having quadruplets, or that it used to be twins but they think that one ate the other one, or that I was just having one baby but that last time they measured he was weighing in at 15 lbs. Or that I wasn't actually pregnant, I just swallowed a watermelon seed... I make up all kinds of crazy crap. Then everyone has a laugh, and usually someone will pipe in and say that I'm just carrying really low.
I hate that some people think it's ok or humorous to say things like this to pregnant women?
My neighbor just asked me this last week! I already don't care for her, and just felt like saying "look who's talkin' tubby, at least I have an excuse!" but you know... I just smiled and kept playing with my son...
I've had my fair share of innapropriate comments through out this pregnancy and it never ceases to amaze me how rude people can be.
Yep it has happened to me twice at work and DH's grandma says it everytime she sees me. She is 90 though so I feel like it is ok for her to say it!
DH's uncle then this weekend said so when are you due. I said October 25th and he said are you sure it isn't tomorrow. I was not feeling good about myself anyway that day and almost started crying. I halfed a smile and walked away. I just don't get why people feel the need to ever comment on weight or size of a pregnant woman.
This!! I'm 5'9" with a long torso. I'm due in three and a half weeks. A week or so ago, someone asked me if I was far enough along to find out what I'm having yet.
Love 06/2005 | Marriage 05/28/2011 | Baby! Peanut born on his due date, 9/30/12
I hear you. People are clueless. I've been asked if it's twins as well, and am not remotely larger than I should be. In fact my belly is measuring a week behind.
Try to ignore it - totally annoying and rude, though, I understand!
Sometimes I wish I had the ability to immediately burst into tears anytime someone makes a weird comment about my belly. Not necessarily because it offended me, but on behalf of all pregnant women in the world, I would like to make one or two people in this world feel like jerks for saying stupid things.
My husband's cousin pretended to punch me in the belly on Sunday and then when I instantly flinched around my BABY, he laughed to the whole room about it. He said, "Whoa, I never saw you move so fast before!" to which I replied, "I was thinking the same thing about YOU!" He's at least 150lbs overweight. And then after an awkward silence where nobody laughed he walked away
I work with the public, so....yeah. All the time. What really gets me is when they ask if I'm having twins, and I tell them no...then they proceed to tell me that the second baby could be hiding behind the first one, or tell me a story about their mom/grandma/aunt/friend who had twins by surprise (hello, this is 2012??).
That's not the worst of the rude comments though. I had one guy ask about the baby's sex and after I told him it was a girl, he said "oh...well, you can always try for another one."
Then a few weeks ago one particularly special cupcake said "You look really uncomfortable. I can tell you how to get rid of the baby. Just drink some castor oil!"....uh...thanks? Last I checked, my goal has never been to "get rid of" my baby! Plus, not thinking my OB would approve of me trying to self-induce labor 4 weeks before my due date!! No thanks for your sh*tty advice.
Crazies...
A co-worker of mine -- whose daughter works in the hospital labor and delivery dept, by the way -- is a grandmother and asked me the twins questions. I thought of all people she would know better!
But my favorite was when I was six months along and a male co-worker (single, no kids) said "Oh, so are you due any day now?" I said, "Nope. Three months left to go!"
He hasn't asked about the baby since.
...baby #3 is here...
I haven't actually been asked if I am having twins, I am told that I am having twins. I always say "Nope just one, we've had three ultrasounds, and there's just one in there".
I think the reason people say it to me is because I am sticking out pretty far, but I'm not that big.
I also get the question of "has my baby dropped yet?" No he hasn't, I've seriously been carrying this low since I got pregnant.
It bugs me too, and I've almost cried a little about it. My mom has reassured me (she was with me a few times with the twin thing) that I am not really that large.
I would have cried anyway right there, just to make him feel bad.
My husband's aunt asked "how much longer" I had, and I told her 6 weeks. She looked fakely surprised. She said "it must be twins". I gave her a look like "really? You just said that to me? How rude"