Ask Me Anything, Labor Day Edition

ball.and.chain · September 2012

I can't really get on TB much during the work day, but I have all the time in the world today and I see that some of you are around. So go ahead, ask me anything! I'm happy to take questions tomorrow from those who aren't around today, but it might take me a while to answer them.

Hope you're all having enjoyable long weekends -- and for those who are working today, you have my sympathy!

tdmklm · September 2012

What's your favorite things about the Boston area? What's our least favorite?

ball.and.chain · September 2012

tdmklm:
What's your favorite things about the Boston area? What's our least favorite?

Favorite: Changing seasons, especially fall; access to a city that has good restaurants and cultural institutions but is smallish and easy to get around; world-class educational/research/medical facilities and the smart/interesting/diverse people who come (or stay) here to work at them; history (old towns, old buildings, old traditions); access to rural Maine and Vermont, Cape Cod and other coastal areas, and NYC all within a 4-hour drive; local food (lobsters! steamers! things you pluck from the sea and dunk in butter!). Friends and family.

Least favorite: Humidity in the summer; cost of living; rabid local sports fans.

LolaBelle515 · September 2012

What's your favorite holiday and why?

ball.and.chain · September 2012

LolaBelle515:
What's your favorite holiday and why?

Christmas, no contest. It's always been a big deal in my family and my parents used to go all out, so it's the one I have the best memories of. I love Christmas trees and lights and all of the food, and I love how magical it used to seem. And let's be honest, I like presents. Presents are good.

hlke · September 2012

How are you feeling about moving on to IVF?

What do you and your wife like to do together in your spare time? How do you think that might change once you have kids?

ball.and.chain · September 2012

hlke:

How are you feeling about moving on to IVF?

What do you and your wife like to do together in your spare time? How do you think that might change once you have kids?

There has been a certain amount of relief in moving on to IVF. I lost hope that IUIs would work for me a long time ago, even though there wasn't any real reason to think they wouldn't. The success rate is SO much higher with IVF; it sort of feels like, OK -- now we're REALLY going to do this. And I can hope for extra embryos to freeze for a sibling, which takes away the pressure of buying sperm for a sibling and of worrying about my fertility at age 37ish.

OTOH, sometimes I look at the protocol and I look at women who get pregnant easily -- that used to just mean straight women who conceive quickly, now I include anyone who gets pregnant in 6 or fewer cycles, whether that's sex or AI -- and it just doesn't seem fair that I have to go through this to have a child. I am also utterly terrified that it won't work. The odds are better, but sometimes it just doesn't work. My wife is not going to carry, so that leaves us at adoption or no kids. I don't believe we're cut out for fostering and we can't afford to do a private adoption. So. That's scary for me.

My wife used to be a chef, and if it has not become clear already, I am obsessed with food (and I'm a decent cook myself, I like to think). So we really like to cook together. Really anything to do with food makes us happy -- finding new restaurants, visiting old favorites, planning party menus, or the actual cooking. We like going to (primarily art) museums and we like travel (but we don't do it much for financial reasons). Unfortunately we actually have very dissimilar interests, so sometimes it's hard to come up with things we both want to do. She loves sports; I hate them. I love to read; she's indifferent. We both like movies, but different kinds.

The nice thing is, we can cook with our kids, and we really look forward to that. I do anticipate that we'll have to take things down a notch or two; with two full-time working moms, we're not going to be able to make as many things from scratch as we're used to, and that's going to take adjustment. We certainly won't be eating out or entertaining as much, but that's OK. We don't actually travel or watch movies much, so no loss there. I read on the subway, so I'll be OK. And hopefully S will finally have someone to play and watch sports with her!

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