April 2012 Moms

I am spineless and it really needs to change.

I was baby wearing while at the farmers market today with LO in my ring sling.  This woman (an employee) came up to me and was talking to me about how adorable lo was.  Next thing I know she starts rubbing her head and kissing the top of her head. I took a step back and laughed awkwardly said thank you and walked away.  I should have said something then.  As I was checking out she came up again and told me how uncomfortable my lo looked in the sling. I told her, "No, she is fine, she likes it." The she starts trying to open up my ring sling so I hold lo with my arm and say "She is fine."  LO starts laughing so the lady sticks her finger in LO's mouth.  I turned away and felt so violated and I am so angry at myself for not telling this woman to back off when she first was overstepping the line in the beginning.  Usually I don't have an issue with people touching lo, not the face or head but on her arm or feet.  No one has ever tried to touch her face like that and I guess I just got overwhelmed/confused.  

I should have said something and am so non-confrontational that I did nothing.  I seriously feel like a siht mom.  DH told me that this spineless thing needs to end and I am no longer worrying about me but lo as well...

He also wants me to go back to the store and complain to the manager but yet again I am nervous to do so because I should have told her to stop myself instead of going above her head. 

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Re: I am spineless and it really needs to change.

  • Ew! I wouldn't have said anything the first time either, but take a hint, lady! Also, I don't think it's your responsibility to confront the employee. Don't be nervous about taking to management.  It's one thing to be friendly, but that lady needs a lesson in boundaries.

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  • It is hard to stand up when you aren't used to. I probably wouldn't have said anything at the beginning either. Damn that was one persistent crazy. 
    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • Oh, and your H can kiss it for making you feel like you weren't taking good care of your DD!
  • imageTambcat:
    Oh, and your H can kiss it for making you feel like you weren't taking good care of your DD!

    Yeah that too.  

    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
  • haha, Thanks ladies for making me feel better.  He apologized after, said it threw him off that someone stuck their finger in her mouth.  I just don't understand why someone would EVER think it is ok to do that to a random baby.
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  • Her finger in the mouth? Ew ew ew. Some people are so freakin weird. Why would anyone ever think it was ok to do that?!!!
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  • Ewww, Creepy McCreeperson!!!!

     

     

    I would have been in shock too probably, but you better bet I would call afterward.

    DD#1 11.7.07 - DD#2 11.2.10 (3rd Tri Loss)- DD#3 4.18.12
  • That is really creepy, I don't think I would have known what to do either, so don't feel bad!

    Consider telling management though, so they can train their employees not to touch random babies, especially in the mouth

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  • Some people have no boundries.  But, I am kind of a chicken shiz too.  Don't feel bad, you'll get better, and LO probably isn't any worse for the wear.  She's ok, so don't beat yourself up!
  • Your poor LO.  I'm not sure I could say something either.  Who expects a total stranger to stick their finger in a baby's mouth.  I think you should say something to the manager.  If you said something she might think it's ok to do it to another person's baby, just not yours.
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  • Ew creepo lady. You aren't a shitttt mom. How were you supposed to know she would get all creepy with her finger? It's hard to decide on what is worth saying something. I think next time you will say something. You are going to get all Mama bear on them!!
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  • I probably wouldn't have said anything the first time either, but I would have been royally skeeved out with the finger in the mouth. Ewwww. Who in their right mind thinks that is okay to do?

    I am sorry this happened. I probably wouldn't say anything, but just be prepared to say something the next time you go. 

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  • It sounds like she may have had some sort of disability.  I don't think the average person would think it's ok to maul a person's baby, kiss them AND stick their nasty finger in the baby's mouth all in one store visit.  

    I, on the other hand am mean as a snake and would have let her have it.  If you're not comfortable complaining in person, you could always send an email if you can describe the woman.  Sorry that happened to you. 

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  • Eek. I have to say something to a friend who thought it was OK to let LO taste her Coke. Not cool. She told me to hush! I brought LO close and went outside (we were at a labor day party). Soooo not cool. She has 3 kids of her own. You'd think she'd know better.
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  • I avoid connotation at all cost so I'm guessing I would have done just what you did and would have just him in shock. I would see on calling the store and talking to a manager because that may be easier than in person for you.
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  • That is bizarre! Who would ever stick their finger in a baby's mouth? That is probably one of the strangest and offensive things I have ever heard done to a baby. The touching and a kiss on the head I can kind of understand.

    I probably wouldn't have said anything the first time, but I definitely would have said something after the finger in the mouth incident.

    It may sound silly, but try to rehearse some things in your head you can say if you're put in a situation like that again. (This is what we teach the kids AND teachers to do in school in a bullying situation.)  That way you don't have to think on the spot and you can pull out of your arsenal.

    So... you could say, "She's just getting over a cold, would you mind not touching her please?" Or... "Please only touch her feet, thanks! I'm weird about germs." Or... "Please look but don't touch my baby. Thanks so much!" Pair it with a smile and walk away. No need to be rude, just be prepared to tell someone no and mean it!

    And don't be so hard on yourself. We're all still figuring this mom thing out. It's not as easy it looks!


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  • I probably wouldn't have said anything either. But holy crazy person!
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  • It was really odd.  I will consider saying something to the manager.  If I can't then I will certainly say something if she tries it again.  Thanks for the support.  Glad to know I am not the only one that would be too shocked to say something.
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