Thoughts on big birthday parties

hmp1 · September 2012

Since the Sept 11 ladies stopped by it got me thinking about 1st birthdays. I know from my last time through TB, some people feel that first birthday parties are stupid and some feel like they are worth doing big. What is your take? Any themes you already know you want to do?

We did a medium size party for DS and it was awesome. We had it at a party place with about 20 kids of various ages. It was from 2-4 so we didn't have to do food, just cake and drinks. It was really easy on me since the party place did just about everything and everyone had fun. We did a safari theme because that was the theme of the party place.

I planned out his 2nd birthday last night. We will do an art party at the house. I'm a little nervous about having toddlers paint inside. Eek.

Manx4 · September 2012

We agreed the first birthday would be the "big" blow out - we did a dinosaur theme with DS. Until he's old enough to ask for friends at a birthday party - the other parties will be smaller, held at home with close family & friends invited.

kelbel527 · September 2012

hmp&mrj:

I planned out his 2nd birthday last night. We will do an art party at the house. I'm a little nervous about having toddlers paint inside. Eek.

You're a brave mama.

We do everything big in our family - which really just comes from having a big family and liking to celebrate everything.

His first birthday was big, in that we invited a lot of people (35ish), but small in the fact that it was at our house and in a comfortable setting. We did an afternoon party with lots of appetizer-type food and cake.

His second birthday was actually very similar. Invited our family & friends, had it at our house and went all out on the theme. His first birthday was themed around a toy-train that he loved, his second birthday was an Elmo themed party.

hterry85 · September 2012

We don't do a huge event for the kids' birthdays. So far we've had every party at my parents house (they live close and have more room than we do) and have just done cake and ice cream. We'll probably start renting a place when they get to school age and have a bunch of friends to invite.

mrs.kapow · September 2012

We do fairly big parties, but right now we also both realize they are more for us than DD. When she can invite friends, we may scale it down to just the kids she wants there.

With DD having a summer birthday, we will probably always have a decent bash since we moved into a house with a pool. I still refuse to cook much and would rather order sandwiches and pay for Mr. Softee to come than deal with that prep myself.

With this one having a fall birthday, we'll see how things end up.

Krista123105 · September 2012

DS' first birthday party was big...about 30 people. No other kids, since he's the only kid on both sides of the family, but our families and some friends. There wasn't really a theme, more of a color scheme that I stuck to.

His second birthday party was slightly smaller, probably about 20 people, still no kids his age, just family and friends. The theme was airplanes.

Not sure yet about his 3rd birthday party. There's a couple of kids at his in-home daycare that we could invite, but he's still the only kid in both of our families, so there won't be a ton of kids. He's obsessed with trains, so I'm assuming the party will be train-themed.

I LOVE birthdays, and we make a big deal out of birthdays in my family, so I plan to do that for my kids.

melody921 · September 2012

So far, we haven't had friends at DS's parties, unless they're the kids of our close friends. Both his 1st and 2nd birthdays were close family (parents, sibs, grandparents, aunts and uncles, a couple of great-aunts) and very close friends. This came out to 30 or 35 people, which is plenty to have in our home. I already saw after last year that it gets a little crazy with some of the kids, so I think going forward we're mainly just doing family, then when the kids are old enough to have friends of their own, we'll do a separate kid party that will be somewhere fun.

MuddyInsignia · September 2012

I think it is cultural. For some Italian friends I have, they do all parties big. But for my little Southern WASP of a family, they would be offended and frown on a really big 1st birthday blow out. I can imagine DH's quiet small town Kansas farm family being a little confused at the thought of a really big 1st birthday blow out. That said, it would be fun to attend someone else's, lol.

bosha711 · September 2012

While it's true your LO is not going to remember the day, I think it's great & fun to have a big party to celebrate with friends & family. You all made it through the first year, you are proud of the toddler your baby has become & all that he or she has learned in one short year. That's worth celebrating, isn't it?!

We had a pretty big party - about 50-60 adults + kids. We had it in a restaurant's banquet room. The theme of the restaurant was a Firehouse, so that was our party theme. We supplied music, some decorations, the cake, favors & a few table activities. The restaurant supplied the food (buffet style) & did all the set up & clean up, which was a big selling point.

Yes, it was expensive, but worth it, IMO.

For DS's second birthday, we want to do it at an indoor play place, like a My Gym or Bounce U. His bday is in December, so unfortunately, an outdoor party is not an option.

To each their own!

numb3rMel · September 2012

Afunky6:
Mostly until she gets old enough to have her own friends from play group, day care, etc. it will probably just be family and friends for her birthday party.

This. I do have a ton of friends who are giving birth around now so I could see having them there but we've previously discussed that until she's old enough to enjoy a big party, we won't be having them. Celebrating with cake/ice cream and a gift from us is all we need to celebrate her birthday.

jocymama · September 2012

When we lived in Arizona we had a small party with just our friends for DDs 1st birthday- nothing big just a cookout at a park. Since we moved back home we now have family at the parties so they are bigger. We will keep them family and our friends until DD is older and in school and able to determine who she really wants to invite besides family. For her 4th bday in a few weeks we are having about 30 people at Chuck E. Cheese.

olsentobe · September 2012

We do a big 1st bday. We had over 80 people including kids at Ds'. We had it in a hall and had it catered. The theme was Sesame Street and Elmo came. Everyone had a blast. His 2nd we did at home and since we have had out at a party place. HIs bday is in Dec, so not many options.

DD will also have the same big 1st bday and then probably a bbq for 2nd.

I will say we did cut the list for her baptism vs DS'. We had close to 100 at his and are only doing immediate family and friends and are still at close to 60. Its amazing how people add up.

tinyhumantoe · September 2012

I'm going to play it by ear. I have mixed feelings. I can see more of a casual cookout for LO's first and second birthdays, then when she's old enough to have a friend or two (or more), just something special for her and her buddy/buddies.

I love going to birthday parties for my friend's little kiddos. It's mostly her large family + two of us who are close friends. Lots of food, hanging out, cake, and kids running around playing. Plus, her kids are so cute when they open presents (they run over and give each gift-giver a big squeezy hug). It's a blast for the kids who get to run around with their cousins, and a blast for the adults who get to lounge around with other family members.

I feel negatively about the parties when they are a big structured event where it is pretty miserable for the adults, or if they are HUGEEEE. At some point a little part of me wonders if they should make it a little more laid back and possibly even <gasp> request that guests not bring gifts. When you have 65 different people bringing gifts, it seems a bit excessive. I know some people probably disagree with me.

My brother and SIL have a huge party for my niece every year and it seems a bit out of control (the gifts are absolutely insane, $$$, plus she has been in a very bratty stage for awhile, so she's incredibly rude to everyone and throws the gifts after opening them). I'm head over heels in love with the little whipper snapper, but I'm always a little embarrassed that my brother/SIL don't work with her on her manners. They don't have her acknowledge any of the gift givers with a hug or a thank you... SIL just sends out TY's after. I get it, she's just a kid, it's not a big deal. The gift slaying is like a scene out of the Walking Dead where it's a straight up massacre and it leaves you feeling....shocked... shocked at how bratty she is.

Last year I had to miss the party because I was out of the country for work and SIL was very upset with me. There was nothing I could do about it! I heard through the grapevine that she couldn't believe I didn't send a gift. Um.... I deposited $50 into her college fund. Do you think the 3 year old knew she didn't receive a gift from me? Nope. Do you think she would have been thankful for my one gift out of the 65 she received that day? Nope. Have I seen the spare room full of unopened toys? Yep. It just makes me roll my eyes a little, but maybe I have a lot to learn.

hmp1 · September 2012

tinyhumantoe:

I feel negatively about the parties when they are a big structured event where it is pretty miserable for the adults, or if they are HUGEEEE. At some point a little part of me wonders if they should make it a little more laid back and possibly even <gasp> request that guests not bring gifts. When you have 65 different people bringing gifts, it seems a bit excessive. I know some people probably disagree with me.
My brother and SIL have a huge party for my niece every year and it seems a bit out of control (the gifts are absolutely insane, $$$, plus she has been in a very bratty stage for awhile, so she's incredibly rude to everyone and throws the gifts after opening them). I'm head over heels in love with the little whipper snapper, but I'm always a little embarrassed that my brother/SIL don't work with her on her manners. They don't have her acknowledge any of the gift givers with a hug or a thank you... SIL just sends out TY's after. I get it, she's just a kid, it's not a big deal. The gift slaying is like a scene out of the Walking Dead where it's a straight up massacre and it leaves you feeling....shocked... shocked at how bratty she is.

We moved out of state when DS was 8mo old and used his birthday as our first trip back home. We put on the invitations "we request your presence instead of presents" because we flew home and couldn't take stuff back with us. Yeah, everyone still brought something and I had to ship it back. I wish presents were not the norm for birthday parties. I hate that part. My brother's circle doesn't open the gifts at the party and I plan to incorporate this into my circle as well. We will thank everyone personally for coming and send a nice thank you note for the gift. Especially when they are young and could care less about opening a stack of gifts. It is brutal.

mrs.kapow · September 2012

hmp&mrj:

I wish presents were not the norm for birthday parties. I hate that part. My brother's circle doesn't open the gifts at the party and I plan to incorporate this into my circle as well. We will thank everyone personally for coming and send a nice thank you note for the gift. Especially when they are young and could care less about opening a stack of gifts. It is brutal.

We didn't open presents at either of DD's birthday parties. I find it so relieving not to worry about trying to get her to sit down and do that. Plus, I always ask for clothes if people ask what to get and then DD isn't as excited about that as the kitschy Minnie doll or the toy she already owns. We/I do TYs afterward and next year, DD will at least be doing a handprint with me.

I also try to tag people in photos of DD loving on their gifts if we're fb friends. I find that more gratifying as a gift giver, too.

damabo80 · September 2012

We did a low key party/BBQ at the pool for DD's first. About 15 adults and 10 kids. she took two naps in the ergo during her party. The theme was "whatever I can find at the dollar store", so it turned out to be a tropical mOnkey theme. I saved some of the decorations, so DS will have a tropical monkey theme too.

Will do something similar for DS.

Let's face it, first bday parties are for the parents, not the guest of honor.

For 2nd a 3rd bday parties, I don't think we'll do much. Maybe a party with just family, and then take them someplace fun. I haven't thought that far into the future, to be honest.

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