How not to resent your husband (vent)?!?!?

indiana_muse · September 2012

Seriously...I have moments where I just plain, flat out resent my husband. I have a two year old daughter and a one month old son. I am a working mom, currently on maternity leave and I sometimes just feel so overwhelmed with being a mom and so jealous that my husband gets to "check out" (I told you I was resentful lol) and go to work, or go to his fantasy football draft or go on a business trip...or just plain not be mom where the final responsibilty falls even in the most balanced of homes.

Anyone else struggle with this? Need to vent too?

annette4797 · September 2012

I feel the same way you do. I am a working mom and I go to nursing school full time! While my husband is at work, riding four wheelers on the weekend, and sleeping in...I get to clean house, feed baby, take care of my other 2 and on top of all that study for tests. I have a test tomorrow and am still up trying to study because DS won't quit crying.....I struggle with this ALOT!!!!

emilybailey76 · September 2012

You are def not alone. Men suck at the newborn/infant stage!! They do get to check out and it sucks. Im dealing with it as we speak. Im on my third attempt at putting DD to sleep and he's in bed snoring. I want to kick him. And it doesn't do any good to give LO to them because 9/10 they can't put LO to sleep anyway!!

mjledwith · September 2012

Can I add that when my DH finally does take the baby the second I get home I get- he would not sleep for me and he screamed and did this or that...blah blah. Like I never get screamed at or have problems getting him to sleep or whatever it may be. Please! I am with DS 24/7 you think I don't know what is like or he miraculously is "hard" just for you. Ugh! I just have to remember its a short time that this will last and I have to remind DH the more time he spends with him the easier it will be for him too.

aadewitt · September 2012

Ive been having some issues with my DH as well. I was at my parents for almost 2 weeks and when I got back DH coudn't handle LO's screaming (gas issues) I was so close to just packing up and going back to my parents for a few months, but what really stopped me was that my poor parents were sleep deprived from the time I spent with them.

What really helped DH and I- was this past weekend on Sunday DH took LO all day, and I got a full day just to myself he really started to realize what I actually go through! we are still working on it though.

adrianLO · September 2012

I think it's impossible not to resent your husband at some point during the first few months. DH is great in so many ways and so helpful that I am grateful for him most of the time.

But last night, while I was bathing my 3 year old and trying to get my newborn to stop crying and DH was doing his 5TH fantasy football draft I really wanted to punch him in the face.

ljanette85 · September 2012

I read this after posting a nice long vent about my fiance... they just dont get it

Its nice to know that Im not the only one dealing with this!

laurenhankey · September 2012

It's hard, it is really really hard. I just keep telling myself that biologically we are wired differently. Our bodies go through a serious physiological change during pregnancy preparing ourselves for lack of sleep, crying, sleeping with one-eye-open. My hubby can totally sleep through LO crying on the monitor but I hear every little whimper all night long. I want him to be able to still do things with his friends, fishing, etc. I enjoy being at home but when I want help I expect him to help me which he typically does. I go back to work this week (3-11pm) so he'll be home for LO's bedtime routine. We did a trial run this week and it didn't go so well. It took about 2 1/2 - 3 hrs each night to get her down. He was getting so frustrated saying he didn't want to spend all night in the nursery trying to get her to sleep and there's stuff he wants to do. I reminded him that I was the one who has done it since day 1 while he got to do what he wanted to and I didn't complain. I carried LO for 39 weeks, ruined my body, have been sleep deprived for 11 weeks, etc. and that spending a few hrs trying to get LO to sleep really isn't that bad. And it isn't forever.

mwlove · September 2012

There have been several times in these past 3 months when I've resented DH. It drives me crazy when DH will work outside all evening then come inside, take a nice long shower, and go to bed. It really drives me crazy the days I haven't had a chance to shower or get a lot done around the house. When he does watch DD, he'll hand her right back if he can't soothe her in a few minutes. I try to explain that you have to try different things, get up and move around with her, sing to her, etc. but he just doesn't get it. He still gets to go out and do things he has always done. I could go on and on...LOL. But I've tried to remember that he is wired differently than me, but at the same time I've learned to be more direct like, Here hold her, I'm going to go shower, change laundry, etc. I just don't give him much of a choice sometimes....LOL.

hang in there...your not alone!

mwlove · September 2012

There have been several times in these past 3 months when I've resented DH. It drives me crazy when DH will work outside all evening then come inside, take a nice long shower, and go to bed. It really drives me crazy the days I haven't had a chance to shower or get a lot done around the house. When he does watch DD, he'll hand her right back if he can't soothe her in a few minutes. I try to explain that you have to try different things, get up and move around with her, sing to her, etc. but he just doesn't get it. He still gets to go out and do things he has always done. I could go on and on...LOL. But I've tried to remember that he is wired differently than me, but at the same time I've learned to be more direct like, Here hold her, I'm going to go shower, change laundry, etc. I just don't give him much of a choice sometimes....LOL.

hang in there...your not alone!

kpearse99 · September 2012

I can't picture leaving LO alone all day with DH.... that's horrible I know, but even when he holds him for a little bit or gives him one bottle, if things don't go "smoothly" or according to his plan, he gets so frustrated!!! A lot of times, he'll come home from work or being out or whatever, and will do a feeding and within 5 minutes he freaks out and says "I don't know what's wrong with him"

We aren't always going to have the same days off once I go back to work, and I feel like if he is home he should be the one watching LO not my mom or his mom.... I dunno!

He is also really nervous and doesn't have a lot of confidence in himself because the first time he was left along with DS for an hour, we ended up taking DS to the ER because the dog knocked him on the floor in his carseat from a chair.... He felt horrible and just kept saying, "If you were the one watching him this wouldn't have happened..." I felt awful for my DH!!

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