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Establishing a CO

HisChamaoleGirlHisChamaoleGirl member
in Single Parents
This is for a friend of mine. She has a court date on Wednesday. She has a protective order for her and her daughter but it expires on Wednesday. She was told the court date is to establish a CO and she should start thinking of what she wants.

Her dd is 10months old. I am writing to ask you ladies for input on what she should ask for. He wants one day a week to visit and she said she wants it supervised. He's never taken care of his daughter and my friend doesn't trust him to be able to take care of dd so she wants to be the one supervising. I of course don't recommend that. What would you ladies suggest she ask for?

BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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Re: Establishing a CO

  • WWMSWWMS
    I don't think your friend should be the one especially since she had an order of protection against him.

    When my LO was six months old his father started seeing him. So for two months he came to our apartment for two hours two days a week. It was miserable to be there with him. It broke my heart when my LO was crying and he didn't want help to calm him down.

    Does she have a friend or one of his family members that she trusts enough to be there? It's also recommended that babies have shorter, frequent visits with no more then two days in between visits. I would also recommend visits be over at least a hour before bed time but he should have to do some type of feeding.
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  • HisChamaoleGirlHisChamaoleGirl member
    imageWWMS:
    I don't think your friend should be the one especially since she had an order of protection against him.

    When my LO was six months old his father started seeing him. So for two months he came to our apartment for two hours two days a week. It was miserable to be there with him. It broke my heart when my LO was crying and he didn't want help to calm him down.

    Does she have a friend or one of his family members that she trusts enough to be there? It's also recommended that babies have shorter, frequent visits with no more then two days in between visits. I would also recommend visits be over at least a hour before bed time but he should have to do some type of feeding.


    I am the only person she knows locally since they moved here a few months ago. She wants the visits to be in a public place and I recommended a time limit for these visits and he should notify her a day or so in advance. Is this good advice? Is there something better I can suggest?

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

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  • WWMSWWMS
    There should definitely be a start and end time. Even set days if possible, so he cant say she is never available when he want to see LO. Have a step up plan with guidelines and if he doesn't follow them then it starts all over. Also include how long she will wait if he is late or no shows. And ask that he takes a parenting class and something for whatever was the cause if the protection order.

    What about a library or some type of indoor playground or play group? She could let him take LO to a class or read books/story time and she could wait in a different part of the location.

    I would guess a lot depends on what the judge says though.
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