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September 2011 Moms
babybmom
member
Am I being unreasonable?
babybmom
member
Saturday is C's birthday. I have to work from 8 to 4:30, DH works 7 to 3. Originally he asked his mom if she could take her Fri night and we would pick her up Sat afternoon. He didn't realize I work until 8 on Fri night, so I wouldn't see her from Fri morning at 10 until Sat evening around 5. I was kind of upset about this. I wouldn't see her for a day and a half, and it's her first birthday. That means something to me.
So DH called and asked if she would mind picking C up at our house on Sat morning at 7:30 so I could see her before I go to work. She said absolutely not. First she acted like FIL wouldnt be home in the morning with his truck and the carseat, so Dh asked where he'd be going that early and she didn't have an answer. Then she said that she was looking forward to having C for the night and waking up with her on her birthday. DH said so was I and if it was any other day than her birthday, I wouldn't mind but this means something to me. She told him to tell me to suck it up.
When he got off the phone, I said that it's my daughter's birthday and I shouldn't have to give this up for MIL. I almost started crying. So I said what if he takes C there for dinner on Fri night since I'll be at work, bring her home and put her to bed, and I'll take her to their house in the morning. Plus they will be here Sunday for her party. So he called her back and said that I was really sorry to disappoint her but this was important to me and there will be plenty of times in the future for them to have her overnight when we're working, and then he asked her what she thought about my idea. She said she'd think about it.
I told DH she can think about it all she wants but that's how it's going to be and I'm not bending. I know it sounds ridiculous because most of my time with her in the morning will be spent driving, but to me, it beats the alternative. H doesn't know what to do because he wants to make us both happy.
Sorry this turned into a vent but this woman has really gotten under my skin lately. Believe me, there's so much more to this story. But am I beig unreasonable or should I just suck it up? Do you think I have her an acceptable alternative? What would you do?
So DH called and asked if she would mind picking C up at our house on Sat morning at 7:30 so I could see her before I go to work. She said absolutely not. First she acted like FIL wouldnt be home in the morning with his truck and the carseat, so Dh asked where he'd be going that early and she didn't have an answer. Then she said that she was looking forward to having C for the night and waking up with her on her birthday. DH said so was I and if it was any other day than her birthday, I wouldn't mind but this means something to me. She told him to tell me to suck it up.
When he got off the phone, I said that it's my daughter's birthday and I shouldn't have to give this up for MIL. I almost started crying. So I said what if he takes C there for dinner on Fri night since I'll be at work, bring her home and put her to bed, and I'll take her to their house in the morning. Plus they will be here Sunday for her party. So he called her back and said that I was really sorry to disappoint her but this was important to me and there will be plenty of times in the future for them to have her overnight when we're working, and then he asked her what she thought about my idea. She said she'd think about it.
I told DH she can think about it all she wants but that's how it's going to be and I'm not bending. I know it sounds ridiculous because most of my time with her in the morning will be spent driving, but to me, it beats the alternative. H doesn't know what to do because he wants to make us both happy.
Sorry this turned into a vent but this woman has really gotten under my skin lately. Believe me, there's so much more to this story. But am I beig unreasonable or should I just suck it up? Do you think I have her an acceptable alternative? What would you do?
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?
I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. The plan to drive her I the morning over there is great. I would do the same thing. I am sorry that you have to deal with this. Your mil should realize that this is important to you.
Holy sheeeeet!!!
If my MIL said "she told him to tell me to suck it up"
Oh my gosh, would there be words exchanged! And I wouldn't let her stay there or even bother taking her there for dinner or the next day. ICK!!
You are NOT being unreasonable, at all! This is her 1st birthday, and like PP said you don't get it back.
Wow, that made me unreasonable irritated for you.
? Voted Cool Cat ~ 2012 Sweetpea Mom Awards ?
You are not being unreasonable. I am irritated for you as well! She is Your child- end of story. I can't believe your MIL would actually say that you should suck it up, that's beyond rude. You are being more than accommodating to her. Do not let her try and ruin your daughters first birthday for you. I hope you are able to enjoy it!
I've tried switching my shift but no luck. I don't understand why she is so possessive with my daughter. She has 3 other grandchildren that she is extremely attached to but not possessive and demanding with like she is to us.
Thank you for your responses ladies. I don't feel like a psycho beeyatch anymore. I feel like a mother who is trying to make the best of the fact that I have to work on my daughters first birthday, which has been my only intention. We'll see what happens.
I don't think that OP has to try to work around her plan just because MIL won't budge. I don't think the MIL is in a position to budge or not budge, it's not her child, it's not her decision.
OP - I don't think you're overreacting. You want to be with your DD on the morning of her birthday and no one gets to question that. I am annoyed with your MIL for you.
"What did my fingers do before they held you? What did my heart do with it's love?"
Yes he definitely has my back. If he didn't think it was worth the fight, he would say so. He agrees, she should wake up at home with her parents on her birthday. We deserve that much. MIL gets her all day.
I think your alternative plan sounds great ... your MIL sounds like she needs to take a step back and realize whose baby this is.
I hope that it all gets smoothed over!
She should be glad that she gets to spend the time on her first birthday with her! Sorry that you're dealing with this, and I hope you work it out!
It's my last day of mat leave, I'm really trying to make the best it. I can't get worked up over this petty bullllll!!