- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
3rd Trimester
BrendaLou1969
member
To first time moms to be from one with a toddler
BrendaLou1969
member
Things I wish I would have been told:
1. Don't let anyone tell you how to parent your child. It is YOUR child, and their opinion does not matter (I let my MIL get to me for almost a year before I exploded at her)
2. brush your childs gums (with gauze or one of those gum cleaners) and when the teeth come in the toddler will be more likely to let you near their mouths. - Learned my lesson on that one, she won't let me near her mouth - dentist told me that is part of the reason they tell you to do that from an early age.
3. Make it a habit to put lotion on your childs face every night. Then when the rash comes from eating strawberrys she will let you near her face to put on the cream. - Learned my lesson on that one. She won't let me near her face. God forbid the time she had pink eye and we had to do drops, awful experience
4. Don't worry, you will get used to changing a poopy diaper. yes there will be times that it is gross, but honestly it isn't that bad. Sounds much worse than it is.
5. When everything seems hopeless and you feel like the worst mom in the world when you first bring your baby home just lay down on the couch with the baby in your arms all bundled up and try to enjoy the moment through the tears (and I mean both of your tears) - they are only small once, my favorite memories of her is as a newborn having her sleep on my chest while the hubby and I watched TV. I didn't worry about the house, about laundry or dinner, for that hour or so she was completely mine and I was hers.
Ok, that is the end of my preaching. I'm breaking rule Number 1 probably by posting this, but this post went off like a lightbulb for me today and I had to share these thoughts with someone. Wish someone would have warned me about all of them early on.
If the house ain't burned down and the baby's fed it was a successful day.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: To first time moms to be from one with a toddler
I'll add to this!
Keep a spare change of clothes for both you and LO in the car and/or diaper bag. Spit up volcanoes aren't fun, but they're a lot worse when you have to drive home in a sopping wet shirt that smells like sour milk.
Also, everything (well... MOST everything) is a phase. Go with the flow. As soon as you figure out your baby they will change anyway. A calmer mommy makes (usually) for a calmer baby. I try and remember that with everything from traveling and meeting new people to simple things like going to the doctor.
There is one cardinal rule though that I try to never break... my kid needs a nap. As long as he naps all is right with the world, lol. For something like a special occasion or company I sometimes let it slide but once you know your baby and what makes them tick decisions like that will come like second nature to you.
Some of this is great advice. Others, depends on the kid and their personality. My DD lets me touch her face, brush her teeth, put lotion on it, etc., and it's not something I did from a super young age. She's just easy-going in that way. But yes, I agree with everything else you said.
I agree, there is definitely good advice here and I agree with what the other mom's added. But yes, some of these items totally depend on your kid. DS was amazing about eye drops instantly, but we never did anything to prep him. He also was great about letting us brush his teeth, we actually had problems later when he started to get independent and wanted to do it himself instead of letting us do it. But like everything, it's a phase.
Big Kid Jan 2010
Littlest Man Sept 2012
I agree it's very dependent on the kid. DD1 is super relaxed and goes with pretty much anything you throw at her.
DD2 seems to be a little more sensitive to having things done to her.
Completely agree with the poster who said everything is a phase. I wish I had known how often and quickly babies change their routines, and that it's relaly not worth worrying if their naps are too short long or inbetween because in 3 days time they will do something completely different.
Good luck to all the mums to be.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
I will add:
Do NOT feel guilty for wanting alone time. Go out and get a mani/pedi/massage whatever. Especially if you are BFing... you feel tied to your kid every 2-3 hours. Either pump some milk (and don't feel bad about it) or go somewhere close by, but GO. Parenting 24/7 is overwhelming.
i'll add and this is especially true for bump users.
dont compare your kid to other peoples kid. its comparing apples to oranges. Your kid may sleep through the night at 3 months, your kid may not sleep through the night til their 18 months old. tomato tomahto. Dont think there's something wrong simply because she isnt acting like joe shmo's daughter. Every child grows at their own pace and its easy to compare when someone elses child the same age reaches a milestone that your kid hasnt. everyone grows at different rates.
Can I add:
It gets better. If it gets harder than you thought and you ever think, " What did I just do?".... It gets better.
I say this because DD was a HARD newborn. A hard baby in general. I loved her dearly but I was exhausted and stressed and always felt like I "should" be enjoying every moment of babyhood but I wasn't. I thought I would be so sad when my baby "grew up" and became a toddler.
And honestly? I LOVE LOVE LOVE spending time with her now. She finally sleeps (sort of) and she's funny and adorable and snuggly and entertaining, and still my baby. For me, babyhood was a bit of a let-down and I might have had sleep-deprivation induced PPD without knowing it, but I absolutely love my life with her now.
So if it's harder than you thought, or less fun, then it gets better.
If you love babyhood and your kid rocks from day one, I'm a little jealous, but that's awesome, too!
Oh, and if your kid is a crappy sleeper, do NOT let Weissbluth, Pantley, Sears, Ferber or ANYONE ELSE (including the "experts" on the bump) convince you that you will destroy your child, ruin their intellectual abilities, wreck their attachments, etc, etc, etc if you decide to bedshare/sleep train/try both and mess them up/sleep on the floor next to your kid or whatever the heck you end up doing. I think the only thing worse than being exhausted and reading every darn sleep book on the market was that every book told me I was a horrible parent if I did what the other book told me to.
And in the end I pretty much tried it all and nothing worked until she just decided to stop fighting and (usually) STTN and she's still happy, healthy, smart, and loving.