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Natural Birth
mystrana
member
Terrified of tearing
mystrana
member
Ok. I know that a tear or two is pretty much something that can happen and it gets stitched up if needed and that's that. I'm not too terrified to tear in my perineum area.
But then I heard that people can tear from the top, so to speak, towards the urethra and THAT scares me to no end. For some reason that I can't describe, that scares me way more than any other part of giving birth. Like, I found myself thinking "oh, a c-section sounds WAY better than tearing like that."
I guess, can anyone share their experience and talk me off of this ridiculous ledge?
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Re: Terrified of tearing
I don't think it's as common to tear badly up as it is to tear badly down.
I had two small tears up near my urethra. It hurt a lot to pee (that peri bottle was my lifesaver), but after a week or so I was good as new.
That is a HORRIFYING thought!! My advice for you is to block that out as much as possible! Worrying doesn't solve problems, it just increases stress and anxiety. When I gave birth to my daughter, she was born with her hand on her face so I suffered a tiny tare. I didn't even know it happened until the doctor was stitching me up and I yelled "What the hell are you doing to me?!?!"
Try to think about postive thoughts
I gave birth naturally. If this is what you want to do, go for it!! If you want to read my full birth story, check it out below. Good luck
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/blogs/arvizu1010/archive/2012/08/31/my-birth-story.aspx
Thank you. Just hearing that really does help. I'm one of those people who as long as I know what to expect in terms of possibilities, it's a lot easier for me to relax.
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.
Thanks for sharing your story!
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.
Bad tearing is far less likely to happen in a med-free birth where mama is able to move around in different positions - not saying it can't happen, but the likelihood is less.
I know it's totally a sample size of one but...both of my babies had 99th percentile heads. With Callum, I had less than a 1st degree tear; Eleanor was 10 pounds and I didn't tear at all. Just to give a positive story
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
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My Dr told me that she was going to give me an episiotomy. I said no, but she told me I was going to rip from my vagina to my clitoris if I didn't consent. I said OK and she cut me downward on my perinium. I would rather have ripped than get an episiotomy! My recovery was awful and I can still feel my cut sometimes. I had other more minor tears with stitches and they healed just fine! Don't be afraid- tearing is natural and will heal naturally.
eta- I agree with PP- the peri bottle was a life saver that 1st week home
tearing really badly has always been one of my fears too. We plan more children, and I'm pretty sure I'll still have that fear.
With DD1 I hadn't realised how much I feared it until I ended up holding back from pushing. I'd push, start to feel baby crowning and be convinced I'd tear and hold back. My MW had to tell me to push through it. She was 9 lbs and I ended up with 2 stitches.
DD2 ended up with baby being delivered onour bathroom floor by DH. I think I spent quite a bit of the time telling him I was going to tear (in my mind I was thinking he doesn't know how to massage and support the perineum area as baby crowns, and I could feel the burn. In reality the ambulance dispatcher on the phone was telling him just how to do that). She was 10lbs. No stitches just a slight graze.
So I guess my advice is, it can feel like you will tear, but trust the process and the people you're working with. To tear badly is uncommon.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
The best way to avoid/minimize tearing is to have an unmedicated birth in an enviornment where you can heed your body's cues and push in the position that feels right to you and can push as your body leads you (versus coached, "purple pushing"). Being in the water can help, as can perineal massage during pushing (note that doing it ahead of time has no proven benefit).
All of that said, if it happens, it happens. DS1's birth required some medically beneficial inteventions that did lead to a 3rd degree tear. It was a rough recovery and my OB never told me about perineal massage, which meant the tissue stayed hard and painful for a long time, but eventually I got it worked out. With DS2, I had some light tearing that healed easily. I also had a weird labial tear, but my MW was able to address it. While tearing isn't optimal, it is something that our bodies are designed to do when needed as part of the process. For me, that was of comfort since I trusted in many of the other things our bodies do in labor and delivery.
More Green For Less Green
This was me as well. The tears weren't even bad enough to need stitches, but yeah, going to the bathroom was a horrific experience. If you do tear, make sure you drink enough water. Peeing wasn't nearly as painful when I was properly hydrated as it was when I wasn't taking in as much fluid. In fact, when I was hydrated, it really didn't bother me much at all.
Sometimes, I'm hilarious.