Wedding Etiquette

katesy21 · August 2012

Today I received a hand delivered wedding invitation. It was delivered by the groom who stated that "stamps were too expensive" on the large/stuffed envelope. And the RSVP card didn't have a stamp for return postage. I'm really not uppity but this kind of bothered me and now I don't want to spend money on a gift. They aren't close friends... What do you ladies think?

jessandandy09 · August 2012

Embarrassed

we hand delivered in town invitations. but we put return postage on the the return envelopes. we had/have a very laid back attitude and i am sure that is not everyones cup of tea. I personally don't care about gifts and made that clear to the people that came to our wedding and every get together/party since. I just want to have a nice celebration with people we like. So I suppose it all depends on how you really feel about the couple. go if ya like, take a gift if ya like.. it should never feel like an obligation.

TrudyCampbell · August 2012

I think it's tacky but I'm pretty snotty when it comes to wedding etiquette stuff.

mrs+harlow · August 2012

So is he getting on an airplane to hand deliver to out-of-town guests? LOL

I think both infractions are ridiculous and I would be miffed too. They could have at least put a stamp for returning the RSVP or made an online site to RSVP or something.

eav2c · August 2012

Tacky. We mailed to our own parentsmore so just so they could enjoy it. I honestly wouldn't go.

huahualove · August 2012

I would think that the gas and time to hand deliver the invitations would cost more than the stamps would. You could hand deliver it back, lol.

marriedsisterofbride · August 2012

I think it's a little tacky too but at the same time I guess it could depend on what kind of wedding it is. If it is casual I guess I could see past it but they should have still put a stamp on the RSVP.

katesy21 · August 2012

huahualove:
I would think that the gas and time to hand deliver the invitations would cost more than the stamps would. You could hand deliver it back, lol.

That's what I was thinking too! Gas is way more expensive than a stamp! If it had just been hand delivered it wouldn't have really bothered me but then when there was no return postage either, it just really seemed cheap! Also, I like the ball mason jars as decoration but a printed ball mason jar on the invitiation just looks dumb...

geekychic · August 2012

Hand delivered is okay... Though I wouldn't admit it was because I was cheap.

RSVP envelopes should have return postage. I am super judgey about that.

gisa886 · August 2012

Confession time. We didn't put stamps on the RSVP cards because up until recently I didn't know you were supposed to. Ahh how young and stupid I was.

jessandandy09 · August 2012

gisa886:
Confession time. We didn't put stamps on the RSVP cards because up until recently I didn't know you were supposed to. Ahh how young and stupid I was.

bah, we are all young and stupid at some points in our lives!

OP. Really, I hate the "expectations and formalities" that should go with a wedding. I think a wedding day should be about the joining of the couple and everyone that comes should be there because they want to be, not because certain criteria are met. If you want to go and support the union of the couple then go. If you don't care abou them and feel offended by (what admittedly is a little shameful) then skip it! just let go of resentment/uncertainty... life is too short :-)

katesy21 · August 2012

jessandandy09:
gisa886:
Confession time. We didn't put stamps on the RSVP cards because up until recently I didn't know you were supposed to. Ahh how young and stupid I was.

bah, we are all young and stupid at some points in our lives!

OP. Really, I hate the "expectations and formalities" that should go with a wedding. I think a wedding day should be about the joining of the couple and everyone that comes should be there because they want to be, not because certain criteria are met. If you want to go and support the union of the couple then go. If you don't care abou them and feel offended by (what admittedly is a little shameful) then skip it! just let go of resentment/uncertainty... life is too short :-)

Yeah, I agree with you. We will most likely go. I didn't know about a lot of the etiquette involved with weddings when I got married either but thanks to my mom and some research, I think I followed most of the important rules Smile The bride may not have know about the stamps on the RSVP and probably didn't know her fiance was making them sound so cheap while delivering the invites. I thought it was tacky but not tacky enough to not celebrate them and their special day.

BriLynn18 · August 2012

jessandandy09:
gisa886:
Confession time. We didn't put stamps on the RSVP cards because up until recently I didn't know you were supposed to. Ahh how young and stupid I was.

bah, we are all young and stupid at some points in our lives!

OP. Really, I hate the "expectations and formalities" that should go with a wedding. I think a wedding day should be about the joining of the couple and everyone that comes should be there because they want to be, not because certain criteria are met. If you want to go and support the union of the couple then go. If you don't care abou them and feel offended by (what admittedly is a little shameful) then skip it! just let go of resentment/uncertainty... life is too short :-)

This.

We had people call or email their RSVP to us. We were on a tight budget, and us being married was more important than doing everything the "right" way. I just went to a wedding that didn't even have an RSVP with the invitation, and didn't think anything of it. Personally, I don't see it as a big deal.

jessandandy09 · August 2012

katesy21:
jessandandy09:

gisa886:
Confession time. We didn't put stamps on the RSVP cards because up until recently I didn't know you were supposed to. Ahh how young and stupid I was.

bah, we are all young and stupid at some points in our lives!

OP. Really, I hate the "expectations and formalities" that should go with a wedding. I think a wedding day should be about the joining of the couple and everyone that comes should be there because they want to be, not because certain criteria are met. If you want to go and support the union of the couple then go. If you don't care abou them and feel offended by (what admittedly is a little shameful) then skip it! just let go of resentment/uncertainty... life is too short :-)

Yeah, I agree with you. We will most likely go. I didn't know about a lot of the etiquette involved with weddings when I got married either but thanks to my mom and some research, I think I followed most of the important rules The bride may not have know about the stamps on the RSVP and probably didn't know her fiance was making them sound so cheap while delivering the invites. I thought it was tacky but not tacky enough to not celebrate them and their special day.

maybe you should go and rock it as the couple who do know what is expected and decent and can be an example of taste! Not everyone can have that roll!

lauranicole91 · August 2012

Ehh I don't think him hand delivering it was that tacky. However, the lack of return postage is horribly tacky!! Wow, just wow!

If they aren't close just don't go. When all else fails use the baby excuse. Baby wouldn't do very well at the wedding. Sorry. Oh and your life with baby is so hecktic that, oops, you forgot all about getting a card and/or gift(card) for them.

If they want to play tacky, two can play at that game. Stick out tongue

Jazzyashes84 · September 2012

i would just rsvp via text msg and throw a $20 in a wedding card for honeymoon drinks

MSUMomma · September 2012

The no return postage is def tacky. Maybe you should get them a few books of stamps as a wedding gift so people might actually get thank yous!

snoangel79 · September 2012

I might have given an invitation to my parents but besides that seriously my invites were like 60 cents to send (weird shaped envelope). I do think it's rude to not have the return postage (I guess who cares if he delivered it, he probably wasted more on gas)! If you don't want to go I'd at least send a congrats card. I invited people who didn't come or give gifts or cards, I really think you should at least acknowledge it somehow.

DinabethL · September 2012

We hand delievered most of our invitiations. No biggie. I actually enjoyed it more that way.

We did put a stamp on the return envelopes!

Browneyedhunni85 · September 2012

eav2c:
Tacky. We mailed to our own parentsmore so just so they could enjoy it. I honestly wouldn't go.

This! I had to put postage on every invite and rsvp. Why can't they? It is their wedding. We even mailed an invite to our family in England so they would have an invitation as a keep sake. Of course we didn't put one on the rsvp because we knew they weren't coming but wanted an invite to keep.

Musiclover2012 · September 2012

lauranicole91:

Ehh I don't think him hand delivering it was that tacky. However, the lack of return postage is horribly tacky!! Wow, just wow!

If they aren't close just don't go. When all else fails use the baby excuse. Baby wouldn't do very well at the wedding. Sorry. Oh and your life with baby is so hecktic that, oops, you forgot all about getting a card and/or gift(card) for them.

If they want to play tacky, two can play at that game.

*Hump* Right Hug

I agree with you. I side eye things like this (I can excuse people like Gisa who didn't know, but if you are clearly cutting corners then no). If they can't afford stamps then I am really wondering what other crazy corners they cut? FWIW: I work in a wedding facility so I can be a little snobby about wedding ettiquette. Stick out tongue

purplechic7105 · September 2012

Jazzyashes84:
i would just rsvp via text msg and throw a $20 in a wedding card for honeymoon drinks

This!! Ugh drives me CRAZY when a stamp isn't included on RSVP soooo rude and thoughtless. I say email / text your RSVP!

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