Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Monkeybabe
member
Re: Anybody have really crappy siblings?
Yeah siblings aren't always buddies. I had a decent relationship with my brother, although the 5 years gap really affected how close we really could have been. We were always just in such different parts of our lives. I wanted to play hide and seek, he wanted to play WoW. I wanted to watch Blue's Clues and he wanted to watch Beavis and Butthead. I wished we had been closer but we didn't have a bad relationship.
My mom on the other hand had a HORRIBLE sibling situation. She had two older brothers, the younger of the two is about 6 years older and he did unbelievable things to her. Like things that would make everyone vomit in their mouth. Obviously this is not the norm or a reason to rationally consider when deciding whether to be one and done, but in my mom's case, being a only child and "alone, spoiled, and bored" would have leaps and bounds better than the childhood she had. Just fartin'...
Monkeybabe, I am so sorry you had such a rocky relationship with your siblings.
Oh and as far as you being one and done, Zoe is cute enough to cover the cuteness of 3 children! Enjoy that little bundle and "spoil" her to death!
I've been meaning to make a post dedicated to Zoe's cuteness. Love the new siggy.
I have two brothers and we have always gotten along (for the most part). My younger brother got into drugs (meth mostly) in his late teens/early twenties and we didn't have much of a relationship. Thankfully, he has been clean and sober for almost 3 years and has recently decided to start going to seminary. If he wouldn't have gotten out of the drugs, I would still love him but he wouldn't be a part of my life.
MH has 3 sisters and can't stand the oldest. She was a nightmare growing up and still is now. She hates me (and mostly everyone else too)
Yup. I'm one of 6 kids, and I have two brothers who are alcoholic, drug-addicted, all around horrible human beings.
My one brother is married to a crazy, piece of trash woman who has had 3 of her 4 children taken away from her (she's addicted to prescription meds), and is currently in jail for the 4th time this year bc she stole her grandmother's credit card (while her grandma was sick in the hospital!!) and took it to the Wal-Mart she had just gotten busted at for shoplifting 2 months prior, and tried to buy a couple hundred bucks worth of stuff. What is my darling brother doing while his crazy wife is in jail? Paying hookers to come over and give him a little help while his 1 yo son is in the next room. Seriously. My poor parents, God bless them, have custody over my brother's 4 yo son, and are trying like crazy to get custody over the 1 year old. I'm completely disgusted by my brother and his wife for being abusive, selfish, horrible parents, and would not care if I never talked to them again.
My other brother is no better- he's an alcoholic who hits my parents up for money constantly, and has 2 children that live with their mother and her abusive boyfriend. He has custody every other weekend, but mostly just pawns them off on my parents so he's able to go out drinking and not have the responsibility of his kids. He treats everyone like they owe him something bc he's a marine who did 2 tours in Iraq, and sees nothing wrong with the life he lives. I've also made it clear to him that I want nothing to do with him.
With all that being said, I have two sisters and another brother who are the kindest, funniest, best people I know, and I couldn't imagine my life without them. They are my best friends, and I adore them. They're the reason I want to give my DD siblings. I have no idea how my other brothers turned out so completely different, i just pray that my kids turn out nothing like them!
dubs - I am so sorry your brothers suck so bad. Your one brother's wife sounds like my cousin, who had her four children taken away. Three all at once, then she had another daughter, who ate meth off the floor and they took her away, too. Thankfully, her older sister adopted all her kids, so they're still together. This chick faked two seizures at her little sister's wedding in order to get attention. When someone mentioned that they called 911, because she had been convulsing for so long, she jumped up and ran down the street because there's a warrant out for her arrest.
My oldest sister lives with my parents and makes their lives hell. They know that they're enabling her, but they don't want to kick her out and make her sink or swim because they're pretty sure she'll sink and they don't want that on their consciences. She's never had a job in her life, aside from briefly being a receptionist at my parents' office and she has a major pot smoking habit, so she's a major drain on my parents financially. (They only put up with the pot, because she's got arthritis and is allergic to the medication for it.) I wouldn't be sad if she disappeared forever. I think I'd be relieved for my parents' sake.
ETA: Thanks to everyone that think Zoe is pretty. She's my light, for sure.
Omg!! Your cousin DOES sound like my SIL...how do people do such horrible things?! I hope her kids are ok, its people like that that make me wonder how just anybody can become a parent. Thank God all the kids could stay together, hopefully that helped to make things a little less traumatic.
I know exactly how you feel, im so sorry your sister is choosing to treat your mom and dad like that...your parents sound like my parents they would do anything for anyone! I hate how my brothers take advantage of it. My poor parents have had custody of my nephew for 2 years now my nephew is 4..,they're retired and should be able to do whatever they like, instead they are starting all over again with kids bc my brother and SIL refuse to get their act together. It makes me sick to think about it.
Hua I think about that all the time! I wonder how my 2 brothers turned out to be so horrible, when every other kid in the family turned out pretty decent! From how they act, you would think that they were raised in a completely different household!
I do. I always roll my eyes when people say "oh, we will have them close together so they will be BFF's!". My sister and I are 18 months apart (I'm older), and we couldn't be more different. She went down a rough road, and is still doing it. Drinking, smoking, drugs since she was 16, almost died while drinking and driving, and has been picked up 2 more times after that happened. She's 29 and still relies on my parents for everything. Financial, a place to crash when her boyfriend and her have fights, rides to and from work, etc. I never hear from her, ever. When she found out I was pregnant, the only thing she said to me was "You can't name it Lucy or Jameson, because those are MY names." While I was up for Christmas last year, she came to my parents and spent the whole time in my parents' room watching the Kardashians. She made this elaborate meal at my parents using their food, and then packed everything up and left, leaving us NONE. Then, she wanted to take MH and I out on our last night in town, we waited and waited, she stood us up. If we weren't sisters I wouldn't want to be in her life.
I have 2 brothers both younger than me. My middle brother and I are 15 months apart and my other brother and I are 5 years apart. Growing up we were never close and I hated being the only girl. I always felt left out especially since both brothers played baseball and my parents lives revolved around that. Now i am kinda close with my younger brother but not really like some siblings are. We text and check in on one another but that's it. My middle brother and I don't get along at all and he is 30 min away. He's a compulsive liar and in his teens he got into lots of trouble with the law and drugs. He's cleaned himself up, he has a family, good job but he is just the biggest asssshole I have ever met. He treats people like crap and acts like everyone owes him something. He has the stereotypical middle child poor me syndrome and he's 36. My brothers always teased me, called me fat etc.
My dad talks to one of the 3 of his siblings. One is weird, that's the one he talks to lol.. The other two are liers and couldn't keep a job if their life depended on it. My one uncle stole my grandmas credit cards and charged a bunch of porn on it. Loser. And then when she died he cleaned out her bank account, actually she was in the hospital dying when he did this. My moms brother was a lot older than her and died of alcoholism. She is close to her sister. I love my aunt.
So yea, it could be worse but I never had a great and happy family that all got along. There was a comment about only children not understanding family dynamics. I was not an only child and my experience with family dynamics is shiit.
I am one and done but it has nothing to do with the above.
Eta: so bump mobile doesn't let me see the whole subject title. I thought this was just a post about siblings. I wouldn't consider her a crappy sister, we are just different.
I wouldn't say I have/had 'crappy' siblings. We are all just WAY different. I'm one of 5, and I almost never talk to my older brother (3 yrs older), I have more of a relationship with my older and younger sister, but they still aren't great. I can handle them in small doses. When my little brother was in the army I talked to him A LOT, and tried to get him help after he came home from Afghanistan...but, as you all know, he never did.
We were really mean to one another growing up, but if any 'outsiders' were mean to any of us - we all would stand up and protect the other. It was a mentality of 'i can be mean to you because you're my family, but if someone else is mean to you - they're gonna pay'
I'm the third of four kids, we are all 1year apart, except the youngest was born 3 years after me. We used to beat the living snot out of each other, basically b/c my father is an abusive alcoholic, and we had no other outlet for our anger. The only one we didn't hurt was my younger brother,he was just too sweet (still is). We have all been through massive counseling, and are better with each other, but there is still a lot of hostility between my sister and older brother.
we also had a lot of fun together. We had built in playmates when the neighborhood kids were away, or we went on vacation, so I admit, that was good for us. But as an adult, I have a much closer relationship with my friends than my siblings.
We are one and done, due to age and finances. Joshua wasn't planned, but we are so happy we have him! We will try to keep him a normal human being
And I agree with all the pps, Zoe is gorgeous!!!