February 2013 Moms
Drea926
member
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*FFFC*
Drea926
member
Didn't think I saw this and if it's on here already somewhere I apologize!
All right gals let's here those "flame-free" Friday confessions!
I'll get us off to a roaring start! ;-) I admit, when I read baby shower posts about etiquette and not wanting to be "gift-grabby" I roll my eyes a bit because come on, the reason for showers is to get gifts! I realize no one wants to appear greedy, but I can't wait to get some good loot! :P
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Re: *FFFC*
Lol. When I read this I thought I was reading a Calvin & Hobbes comic strip.
Mine is swearing, particularly from women. If I'm out in public and there's a guy swearing every third word, I just figure he's an idiot who's not worth my time and leave the vicinity.
If it's a woman swearing, I start judging everything about her. It's not ladylike and I assume that you're not very smart since you can't find any other words to make any kind of valid argument. We could never be friends because obviously we couldn't have an intelligent conversation. You're not a guy, stop acting like one. I just don't find it endearing at all and don't see how men would find it so in women.
I think it?s fine to have a second baby shower, with gifts! if that?s what your friends would like to do for you.
We didn?t have one for DS but family did send a few things from a wish list I had, clothes mostly as they are very expensive here. We had saved up for over 5 years so that we could afford to buy everything we needed on our own.
Now we are on our second we have lots of clothes, and almost all the equipment, but if family ask us what we wld like for the new baby I won?t hesitate to ask for donations towards a new pushchair.
Money is often tighter with a second child than with a planned first child, so a second baby shower would be very greatly appreciated by many 2TM?s I?m sure. Not that we will be having one - but for those that will be - enjoy it!
I am struggling a lot the last few days about being pregnant. First off being pregnant at all has been bringing some issues with work that are not over yet. Because this was a big surprise for everyone involved, especially my FI and I, it's been pretty tough. I thank God everyday that the actual pregnancy sondar has been easy, but the emotional part has not been at all.
On top of work being unhappy with this I'm not even sure I'm happy with it still. I went through a very rough break up 4 months before I met FI. He used drugs and I couldn't help him stop, he had major issues with money and paying bills, and he was cheating on me. It sounds like it should have been easy to get over but that's how I got used to life. I had to start over afterward and it was hard moving back with my parents and being back to step 1 after I thought my life was figured out.
Then I met FI and my whole perception of life changed. He is the most caring, generous, wonderful person I have ever met. I finally know what it's like to have an equal partner in life. Life is good and I'm finally loving it and happier than I've ever been. It sounds like a great environment to bring a baby into, and it will be. But I wanted more time for it to be just FI and I alone. We've only been together a year and a half. We wanted to travel and just enjoy each other. I feel so selfish and I've been struggling with this since the day of our BFP. I want kids but not now.
On another note, and I know this is ridiculous and I'm trying to get over it, I am very very used to being the center of attention. My parents give/help me with anything I need, FI is very devoted to me. I'm not sure I want all that to go away. Although I'm very like my parents, I give/ help anyone I can when I can and I love it. So they say I'll be fine especially with my baby being the center of attention from now on. I just doubt myself.
Geez!! I wrote a book! I guess I had a lot on my mind today. I'm so so sorry!
I too have no issue with someone having a 2nd shower, as long as they don't throw it for themselves. 2nd baby needs some love too. And just because you have a child, doesn't mean you have everything you need. I think all DD's 6 months clothes are stained, from a mixture of starting solids, and reflux (i.e. spitting up all day long, even while medicated) Plus, we need a new bouncy chair, etc....
My confession, I have the worst memory. I had a question to ask DD's doctor yesterday, I told DH right before he walked in the room, I forgot. I had a list for my own doctor, forgot to ask him every single thing. So I get to call his office next week to do so. Which, I also had to call his office when I left (I work for his friend, an ophthalmologist, he wanted me to ask him to squeeze him in...) and I still forgot!
On the shower theme...
My confession is that I'm secretly disappointed my female relatives didn't decide to throw me a shower for this baby while I'm back in the States (I leave to go back home next weekend, so it won't be happening). I had no shower with my relatives for my first because I was living in Germany (my friends there threw a little surprise shower with about 8 guests, but obviously no one from the States came), and I was hoping that they would go ahead and throw a little party for this baby. I wouldn't have even wanted gifts because I wouldn't have wanted to deal with shipping them and we have almost everything we need, but I would have been thrilled to have had the shower experience with them. :-(
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
I don't think anyone would flame you for being honest and sharing your feelings. I am sure you aren't the first woman to have mixed emotions about your pregnancy. I actually was reading this morning that it's healthy to go through these emotions now, because then by the time the baby comes, you'll have worked through a lot. And on the plus side it sounds like you've got a wonderful life partner, and I'm sure once your LO is born you'll experience great joy.
The meaning of shower is to shower the mother with gifts. If it's not a shower, call it something else (like a party or gathering, as that seems to be what it is) and people probably won't get bashed.