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August 2012 Moms
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Please tell me im not a bad mom...

aleishajewellaleishajewell member
in August 2012 Moms
I just need some reassurance , we started out BF but DD was early and very very small so she had trouble latching and staying on so we transitioned to EP which has been going well until a couple of days ago when I began not pumping enough for her and having to supplement with formula..., but now I want to switch to formula. I am tired of pumping and getting just two ounces if that at all. I'm tired of doing both pumping and formula feeding. I already have to feed DD alll day long while DH is at work abd put her to sleep and then do all the other things around the house. It just seems like too much to me to feed DD the little amount I pumped last time, then make a formula bottle, then get her to sleep, then pump. I just feel like a terrible mom because I know the breast milk is best for her... And I should be willing to spend my time doing all this, its only been 3 weeks. What else am I going to give up on If I give up on this three weeks in? I wanted to breast feed to feel more connected to my daughter... Soo why am I so quick to let it go?
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Re: Please tell me im not a bad mom...

  • BemyselfandiBemyselfandi member
    I pumped for two weeks when I had DS. It's exhausting. And to top it off I wasn't pumping enough to feed what he wanted. I had to supplement with formula and it wasn't what I wanted. I felt like a failure. I remember having a complete breakdown one night because I finally decided to just do formula. Even though I felt like I should be able to do it, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. It's best for them, yes. But do what's best for your family. I was going to breast feed this time, but it just wasn't right for our family for many reasons. Take your time, write out your pros and cons and figure out what's best for YOUR family. It's ok, you're not a bad mom. Plenty of kids/adults grew up on formula and they're perfectly healthy and smart! Even though it seems the majority of moms on this board are breastfeeding, there are many of us who formula feed. Our kids grow up just as healthy.
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  • rlmanningrlmanning member

    Lurker here -

    Please do not get down on yourself because of this. I was in your same position a little over a year ago and I chose to FF my daughter. She is now 14 monhts and is doing amazing. She has been walking since 11 months, her vocabulary is outstanding (about 15 words), she sleeps well and she is rarely, if ever sick. I wish I could have breast fed but it wasnt in the cards for me. So I proudly FF and held my head up high.

    You have to make this decision for you and your baby and be confident with it. Your doing a great job momma, dont you worry about what everyone will think. You make the best choice for you and your family! GL

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  • mollyxcatemollyxcate member

    I gave birth at 5:29 am. By 1 am the following day I was supplementing with formula. By the first day home (day 3) I decided to switch to formula feeding. I realized that I was dreading breastfeeding so much that I didn't even have time to enjoy her and enjoy being a new mom! You've given her so much by breastfeeding her this long (even the LC I talked to said this to me!!) don't feel guilty at all switching to formula. 

    There is nothing better you can do for your baby than making sure you are taking care of YOU too. If you're miserable she's missing out on a lot more than if she being fed with formula.

    A good mom is not dictated by the form in which she feeds her child. 

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  • chefnicole22chefnicole22 member
    I don't think that's bad at all and it's awesome that you tried! I just went straight to FF bc I knew that to add BF to everything that's going on in my life would just be too much to handle. I felt bad when I made that decision, but happy mom = happy baby. 
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  • tammynixxtammynixx member
    I agree with everyone else. There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula feeding your baby. You're doing whats best for the both of you. I'm not sure why formula has such a bad reputation around the bump. Best of luck to you!


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  • bsschroederbsschroeder member

    girl!!! I could have wrote this post myself!!    Im THIS CLOSE to EFF'ing!   dont feel bad!  youre so not the only one!  : )

     

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  • merricksmommerricksmom member
    I'm right there with you. We've been breastfeeding for almost 3 weeks and my supply still pretty much stinks. We have been supplementing formula after feedings and it seems the amount of formula we use goes up and up. I'm about to throw in the towel myself. Obviously I'm still not making enough milk and my son was formula fed and he's fine. I don't think anyone should feel bad for formula feeding. And you tried. The first 2 weeks of breastmilk are the most beneficial anyway. Good luck and don't feel guilty! I think my biggest issue is that I'm a perfectionist and I don't like to fail. I never understood or respected how difficult breastfeeding was until now.
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  • ShelbehhRawrrShelbehhRawrr member

    I BF for 1 week. but my supply wasn't meeting the amount she wanted, and I got a CT scan and couldnt BF for a few days and just decided to give up.

    I felt terrible, but then I realized its not like my baby isn't getting fed and She'll be just fine. you're not a bad mom. please dont feel that way. 

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  • JennDave+1JennDave+1
    You are not a bad mom. All my boys were formula feed from the beginning and they are perfectly fine. I commend you for making it 3 weeks.
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  • Manda-KayManda-Kay member

    I'm an EFF (not by choice) and the sanity that I have because others can feed my son has completely washed away the guilt of not being able to give my son BM.  I feel like a better mom because I'm happy and as other PPs said happy mom = happy baby.



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  • mindymaskemindymaske member
    I hear you, I am doing the same thing. I get barely enough to feed LO and have to supplement occasionally. but I also feel like I spend soooo much time pumping, and its a pain in the ass to have leaky boobs all the time. But I am going to try to keep up with it while I am on maternity leave
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  • aleishajewellaleishajewell member
    Thank you ladies SOOO much. I appreciate the support so much you have no idea. It really has helped, you all are the best, truly
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  • heathert1981heathert1981 member
    imageScout2005:

    You would be a bad mom if you didn't 1) feed your child or 2) honor the fact that your sanity and emotional well being are important.

    It's formula, not rat poison. She'll be just fine. If this is what works for you, you have nothing to feel bad about.

    AMEN!! 

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