February 2013 Moms
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Child care decisions - nanny share v. daycare center
eatdrinkstretch
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Question for all you second and third+ time moms... I will be returning to work when my baby is about four months old and my husband and I are deciding between a traditional daycare center and a nanny share with one other family. (Home-based daycare is not an option for us because of location and a private nanny is not an option due to cost and the desire for our child to have some basic socialization from the beginning). I understand the basic pros and cons of each, but am hoping that you can shed some light on this decision by sharing your experiences. I would love to hear what has worked for you and what hasn't, what you didn't expect, etc. Thank you so much!
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Re: Child care decisions - nanny share v. daycare center
I'm a FTM and I just put down a deposit for daycare last week, so I'm curious what others are going to say.
I can tell you about SIL and BIL's experience with nanny share - SIL and BIL put themselves on a daycare waiting list when SIL was pregnant. The waiting list was a year long wait, and there wasn't a spot when SIL went back to work, so they decided on a nanny share. The nanny keeps just their son (now 14 months) in the mornings, then picks up another family's three daughters from school and keeps all 4 kids in the afternoon. Both families are really happy with this arrangement and BIL and SIL love all the attention and interaction their son gets with the three sisters.
I think there are pros of each, but I will share our story. I went back to work when DD was 8 months. We had the option of daycare or part time nanny and my mom watching her 2X a week. We decided that we were more comfortable with waiting until she was 1 yr to start daycare. I made sure to sign DD up for swim classes and gymboree to keep her interacting and we had at least 2 play dates a week. I had plenty of friends that sent their kids at 4 months. Pro's....they adjusted easier because they were younger and if you don't have a schedule, they will put the baby on one for you. Con's....one of gf's daughters had chicken pox and coksackie before 7 months of age and within 2 months of being at daycare.
Well, I'm a teacher and going back to work until leave in February and we decided to go with daycare and started last week to get her acclimated b4 I actually went back on Tuesday. It was really hard for her and me. She cried a lot and this is not like her at all. She loves being around other babies and I thought for sure she'd love it, but nope. They say it can take up to a month for a baby this age to adjust. I know it's best for her now, but I feel horrible and think that it may have been easier if we sent her back in April. GL!
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We are trying to decide this too. As a STM, I can provide a little bit of insight. Daycare centers are nice because they follow a specified set of rules. You'll know what you're getting in terms of food, naps, number of kids, etc. Those things are flexible with a nanny/nanny share. The down side is that babies will be sick more often, which can be difficult.
Nanny shares are nice, but I've had friends who have had horror stories about the other child destroying things in their home. You'll also have to set up sleeping arrangements for two kids, which may be hard depending on your home (I live in a VHCOL city so space is always an issue). You also have to find a family that is similar in terms of schedules and expectations of the nanny. Friends of ours had a difficult time because the nanny-share family treated the nanny like hired help, whereas they chose to treat her as part of the family. This caused a lot of problems.
I'm not sure what we'll do. I like the idea of a nanny but cost is an issue. I also work from home sometimes and doubt that I can get anything done with two infants around. But I hate to have my little one sick so often (we had a hard time with DD in daycare even though we waited until she was 6 months to enroll her).