Bedtime routine help

txleia · August 2012

I feel like I should intro a little first, since this is my first AP post. I am mama to my 16 month old DS, and 8 weeks pregnant. We've been pretty much AP from the get-go without knowing it. DS is high needs, although not to an extreme extent. He had an undiagnosed gluten intolerance until he was 7 months and it really messed with sleep, eating, nursing, everything. Babywearing, BLW, BFing past a year, etc was the only stuff that helped, and I found out later that's pretty much called AP!

On to my problem. DH has been putting DS to sleep for several months. It used to take about 10-15 minutes of patting/shushing in his crib (side-carred to our bed), but then he was out until sometime after we went to bed and he'd crawl in with us. This was working great until he started taking longer and longer to go to sleep, and nothing else about his routine changed. He's now taking anywhere from 30-60 minutes, regardless of how big his day has been or how tired he is. I tried putting him to sleep, but it took the same amount of time, and now I feel like he's getting confused going back and forth between DH and I.

On the other hand, at naptime, I put him to sleep by rocking him and he naps for 2 hours in his crib. Rocking only takes 10-15 minutes and he's out.

We do a bedtime routine of books, songs, and prayers, but for naps we do nothing. He is awake for about 5 hours between waking up in the morning and his nap, and another 5 hours between the end of his nap and bedtime. He sleeps for 11-ish hours at night and takes one 2 hour nap.

I'm at a total loss as to what to do to help him get to sleep quicker at night. We don't mind shushing/patting and staying in there until he goes to sleep, but taking that long is just too much. Any suggestions??

ncbelle · August 2012

What about just sitting with him instead of the shushing and patting? I'm a big believer in white noise machines (shushes for you!). Then you can at least read or something with a wee light so that doesn't feel like such a long time for you. I still sit with my kids as they fall asleep but you could transition to being further and further away as he falls asleep until you are eventually out of the room if you wanted.

I don't think there's really anything you can do to make them fall asleep more quickly. And I think naps and bedtime are two different beasts. You can change how involved you have to be as they fall asleep though if your current routine isn't working for you.

txleia · August 2012

I had thought of telling DH to play with his phone or something while DS goes to sleep, but DS is HIGHLY alert and reacts to any little thing going on, especially lights. We do have an air filter fan in there, so maybe we'll try turning it up. DH has said that some nights he wants touch, and some nights he doesn't, so it could be that he's "outgrowing" it.

Ironically enough, as I was posting this last night, DH was putting DS to sleep - and it only took 15 minutes! We put a pillow in his crib a few nights ago, but apparently last night DS insisted on using it and it must have done the trick. I'm wondering now if he just hasn't been very comfortable.

We've been big fans of just going with the flow and letting change happen as DS wants it, so maybe we just need to tweak a few things, like the pillow, and hopefully that will help.

Thanks, ladies!!

Bedtime routine help

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