People asking if you want kids

hlke · August 2012

A question for the other TTCers. Maybe it's my age or the fact that I just moved to a new city and new job so I have to do a lot of "getting to know you" talks, but I keep getting asked if I want kids or if I plan to have kids. The question makes me freeze like a deer in the headlights, especially if I've just spent the day talking to sperm banks and ordering progesterone suppositories.

How do you respond to questions about your family plans? For me it's especially tough with coworkers, as I'm new and I don't really want anyone to know I plan on taking maternity leave sometime in the next two years.

2mommiesinoh · August 2012

Up until recently I was in this category so I am going to answer. I actually applied for a change in job position right before I started the Clomid and everything, yeah not my smartest move BUT I really wanted the opportunity. I kept it vague when asked if I planned on having anymore, "Yeah we have talked about it." or "We are thinking about having more sometime." Not a lie because both of those statements are true but not an out right "We put a lot of effort into doing this exact thing everyday!"

thiswillbe · August 2012

When I got those questions pre-kids, I would just smile and say "eventually!" Short and sweet and kinda shuts the conversation down (at least it did for me).

ctbride08 · August 2012

Similar to TWB - my answer was always, "Sure, when the time is right."

hlke · August 2012

2mommiesinoh:
"We put a lot of effort into doing this exact thing everyday!"

Exactly! I want to be like "yes, it's pretty much all I think about other than work".

I also have kept it vague, but I probably just have to practice not looking uncomfortable or panicked when the question is asked. I don't even remember what I said last night - something along the lines of "We're thinking about it".

Kershnic · August 2012

thiswillbe:
When I got those questions pre-kids, I would just smile and say "eventually!" Short and sweet and kinda shuts the conversation down (at least it did for me).

This.

pbl2011 · August 2012

i used to say 'no' in order to completely shut the conversation down, and then perhaps change the subject, especially when D and I were figuring out if this was something that we both wanted/ could handle.

Once D was pregnant, i was even more uncomfortable about these sorts of conversations. i felt like they were all at once asking me if i was straight, gay, single, partnered, etc and i wanted to say no, but i knew that would be weird once my leave came around so i'd respond vaguely, about how i'd thought about or something like that. i think that it is an inappropriate question in the workplace so i most often want to say that, however rude it may seem.

Also, when asked if we are considering having more (meanwhile we are currently ttc #2) it somehow puts me at more of a loss of what to say, maybe because i am the one n the hot seat this time around

2brides · August 2012

Oddly, people didn't really ask before we were TTC. Now if they ask if we are having more/trying for a girl,I just emphatically say "Nope, we are done."

Want a personalized experience?

People asking if you want kids

Re: People asking if you want kids

Choose Another Board

Search Boards