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social anxiety about BFing

jw87jw87 member
in Breastfeeding
So, I have a social anxiety that makes me already nervous around family and friends.  I am constantly wondering what they think about me (part of the anxiety and something I cannot control).  I was on medication to help with it prior to getting pregnant, medication that is not safe for my LO.  However, we discussed possibly switching to another medication that may or may not work after giving birth and giving BFing a shot.  Something I would really like to do. 

BFing alone gives me a bit of anxiety as I have to deal with visitors, etc. and I'm not sure I'm prepared for that.  Last time I did a horrible job at saying "LO needs to nurse" and just excuse myself from the room... so I'd pop a bottle in his mouth instead so we could stay around company I was not comfortable nursing around and soon he was refusing me altogether.  Obviously my BIG mistake.

So this time, I would like to nurse for several reasons, but I am having some anxiety issues around BFing in public or around family (not DH or DS), I have ZERO issues with other people BFing around me, but I am so modest of myself... and I'm not sure I'd even be comfortable with a nursing cover in public.  I'm a bit worried I will turn into a hermit if I decide to BF never leaving the house.

Has anyone else had problems like this?  Did you just get over it?  How do you handle social situations?  What do you do out in public?  Do you just nurse and not care?  I WISH I didn't care... it would make this so much easier. 

Any advice welcome. 
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Re: social anxiety about BFing

  • tokenhosertokenhoser member

    First of all: try to take this one day at a time. Make the decision to start breastfeeding and take it from there. Do what makes YOU comfortable and decide to put your baby above your visitors - make it about the baby in your head rather than about you. It's not rude to excuse yourself to nurse - it's just putting the baby first.

    Try some really friendly places to nurse first. Go to a breastfeeding support group or La Leche meeting. Go to a store or mall with a mother's room (BRU, for example). Nurse in front of a mirror so you can really see what others see (nothing if you're using a cover).

    I nurse and just don't care, but it took a few months to get to that point. I was a very modest person before I was a breastfeeding mom. It gets easier with time.

    Definitely explore the medication alternatives available to you; anxiety is no joke and you can't be the best mom you're capable of if you're anxious all the time.

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  • telyntelyn member

    I did it slowly. The first few weeks I would just hangout in the bedroom to feed LO. Then, I guess at around 8 weeks, when feeding got easier, I would leave to get feeding established, and put a banket over her. Now, I still leave to get her on, but then I'm comfortable. This is around family and friends, mind you. Out in public is a whole other thing.  There I'm still looking for a private corner (sometimes a dressing room or the car) and covering up if I'm at a restaraunt or shopping. I"m trying to masting sling feeding, ut LO is so small, and I'm so *ahem* large, it's giving me problems.

    This has been 13 weekish. Just go slowly, and try not to over analyze or assume everyone is judging you (hard for anxiety disorders, I know!). You don't have to say a word. If you have a fussy baby, assume the baby made the apoligies for both of you and leave the room if that's what makes you comfortable. It's hard, but try to mantra to yourself that the baby's needs are more important than what others might feel.

    Just a note, I only ever get odd looks from 12 year olds, mostly boys. and 1 husband of a friend who is, really, like a 12 year old himself.. So since 12 year olds don't normally get to weigh in on my other life descions, they don't get a say in feeding my baby :)

    Love to you and yours!

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  • jennyann28jennyann28 member
    imagetokenhoser:
    First of all: try to take this one day at a time. Make the decision to start breastfeeding and take it from there. Do what makes YOU comfortable and decide to put your baby above your visitors make it about the baby in your head rather than about you. It's not rude to excuse yourself to nurse it's just putting the baby first.Try some really friendly places to nurse first. Go to a breastfeeding support group or La Leche meeting. Go to a store or mall with a mother's room BRU, for example. Nurse in front of a mirror so you can really see what others see nothing if you're using a cover.I nurse and just don't care, but it took a few months to get to that point. I was a very modest person before I was a breastfeeding mom. It gets easier with time.Definitely explore the medication alternatives available to you; anxiety is no joke and you can't be the best mom you're capable of if you're anxious all the time.

    I agree with all of this. I was so modest that when I was engaged, I didn't want to shop for a wedding dress because I knew someone would have to help me into it!
    I NIP all the time now though. What helped me the most was going to my hospital's parentbaby class. Those women were all nursing too, so it felt safe. I actually don't even use a cover there anymore.
    It will take time, but it is definitely doable.
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