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January 2013 Moms
graciesmurf
member
Repost from baby shower board
graciesmurf
member
Hello everyone!
My mom has offered to throw me a baby shower in early December (I'm due in January). While I'm super excited and grateful, I'm also a little worried.
My mom wants me to do a lot of the planning for the shower... Mostly because she lives far away (500 miles). However, I live in my hometown, and close to where she grew up, so I'm close to family. We decided that it would make sense to have the shower near me. I figure that I'll make it "etiquette acceptable" by researching a few different venues/ideas and giving her options to pick from.
My question is: Is a 10 person shower too small? By 10 person I mean having an invite list of about 15 (5 of which I KNOW will show).
I feel like it would be nice to have a Sunday brunch type of sit down meal (maybe tea) with a smaller group rather than have an "invite everyone you know just to get more gifts".
I guess my 2nd question(s) is: How do I separate myself from "planning" my own shower? I understand that since my mom isn't here I'll have to research/visit venues.. where do I draw the line? Should I just turn my mom's offer down?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Repost from baby shower board
I agree- I think smaller is better!
I don't think you have to turn it down at all! She knows that you're in the area and can check up on places but have you told her about wanting a smaller shower? You may not have to actually rent a place out for such a small number of people. Maybe sit down and explain to your mom that you don't feel comfortable "planning" your own shower per say but aren't unwilling to give your opinion about things should she need it.
I know I would be overwhelmed at the thought so when my mom asked me if I wanted to be involved in the planning for the shower she was throwing I told her I trust her taste and to do it however she wanted.
My mom is hosting my shower but she and I are planning a lot of details together. She asked for your help so I don't think it's a faux pas... unless of course it's just because you don't want to do it or don't have the time. I would make your list of people you'd like to invite and their addresses and then send that info to your mom and have her mail the invites and to have them RSVP to her.
I think a sit down brunch with your closest family/friends is a very cute idea. I've been to showers with only 10-15 people and I don't think it's too small at all.
I'd go ahead and give your mom a hand researching some places, but do let her make the final call... that way she'll get to decide what she's comfortable paying for and such.
IMO.... There is a difference between planning the shower and helping out the host.
My local shower is being hosted by my best friend at my house. She is doing all of the planning.. theme, invites etc I am helping her pick out food/ cake etc because she lives 90 minutes away and doesn't know anything local to me.
There will only be 15 people invited and didn't even think twice about it......
Henry Cavill...You're welcome!
BFP #3: EDD 1/10/13 **DS born 12/30/12!!!**
BFP #2: MC 7/2/11 @ 12 weeks
**Missing our February '12 LoveBug**
BFP #1: MMC discovered on 12/6/10
"Sometimes,' said Pooh, 'the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
Lucy Kate 2/9/13
m/c 12/30/11 - our Christmas baby
You don't need to turn the offer down, because for logistical persons you have may need to help out a bit. Helping a bit it's the same as throwing it yourself.
I think a small Sunday brunch or tea sounds fantastic!
This!
I think your idea of a shower sounds lovely! I'll also add that you can have as much or as little say in the shower as you're comfortable with. Helping her pick a venue and catering does not mean you're planning your own shower! Ask her to refer to a family member in town or a close friend if she needs input about decorations, etc. if you're uncomfortable taking on that responsibility.
Fwiw, my mom hosted my shower in my house. I helped her prepare the majority of the food bc I like to do that. I never felt gift grabby except my Mil wanted to invite her neighbors that I don't know very well. Only then was I embarrassed...