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LO gets bit at DC - advice?
tiplovesdap
member
in Working Moms
LO just turned 1 and has been at his DC for 8months. Last week he got moved to a new room along with about half of his class. In the past 10 days he has been bitten about 6 times. DH and I are getting very concerned that he will start hating DC or biting back or get more seriously injured if this continues. What should we say to DC? This is the first problem we have had there at all. We have loved the facility since day one so I really don't want to overreact. All constructive advice is appreciated.
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Re: LO gets bit at DC - advice?
This happens in my DS's daycare but 6 times in 10 days is crazy! What my center does is they separate the kids into smaller groups when they start biting agressively and they keep the kids who tend to bite each other apart. The teachers never tell us which kid did it because they're concerned we will confront the other parents. My DS has bitten and been bitten. All daycare does is "redirect". It is a phase that will pass as this rarely happens now, but I think they should be separating the kids as best they can and stopping it before it happens. Most of the time they can tell when a kid is going in for the kill. I hope your little one is OK!
BFP#1 - 11/27/09 EDD 8/5/10, DS1 arrived 7/24/10 via emergency c-section.
BFP#2 - 6/18/12 EDD 2/23/13, sweet baby girl born sleeping on 10/4/12 at 19 weeks, 3 days.
BFP #3 - 1/18/13 EDD 10/1/13, natural mc on 2/2/13 at 5 weeks, 4 days.
BFP #4 - 8/29/13 EDD 5/12/14, our sweet rainbow, DS2 born 4/29/14 via c-section
We've been on both ends of the biting spectrum, starting in the 1-2 year old room and continuing on in the 2-2.5 year old room. It's common for them to get bitten, but 6 times in 10 days is a bit excessive. I'd ask that they shadow the biter/s and try to be a little more pro-active in redirecting the children....it may even require a floater spend more time in the room to be with the children in order to correct some of the behavior. I don't think you are being unrealistic by talking to the teachers about this and then taking it to the Director if things don't improve.
Wrangling babies since 2010
DD2 has been bitten multiple times over several months by diffn't children. At the age of 1 it is normal for a LO to bite since their vocabulary is limited. They are expressing themselves thru other actions. Once there is a biter others learn to bite. This is my fear and fortunately DD has not taken this route...yet. Definitely ask the teachers their course of action. If it is one biter, by now they should be shadowing this child. In some cases, they move the biter to the next classroom as they have 'outgrown' their current room. Our DC commented in orientation for severe cases, they will attach a leash to a child and teacher to ensure shadowing with little distance in btwn. I have never witnessed this myself. In addition to asking if it's one or multiple biters ask if other friends are bitten too or if the two children s/b separated thru out the day? Odds are several children are being bitten.
The DC should also be notifying the biters parents of the incidents. I'm sure they feel guilty and if the action is happening at home the parents s/b working on correcting the behavior.
My kid was the bite-ee as well. At the time it was very traumatizing for me.
Daycare did their best to shadow the biter and eventually it ended. Nobody worse for wear.
While we think it is horrible to be bitten, you would be surprised at a young child's reaction -- sometimes there is no reaction (hard to believe when you can see a full imprint of someone's teeth in your child's arm, leg, BACK!). Daycare would report to me that they would see the biter chomp on my LO and my LO not reacting at all. Not a cry or screech or even a whimper.
It's a normal developmental phase. Some kids bite. Your LO is unlikely to get seriously injured and his feelings are unlikely to be hurt either.
Voice your concerns to the daycare, ask what they are doing to prevent it and just breathe. This too shall pass.
Thanks for all the support and good advice. I talked to the assistant director today when I picked him up. She is going to assign a teacher to shadow the child for the next little while to try to figure out what is sparking his or her biting. During that time the child will also be closer to the teacher and kept at a slight distance away from the other kids. I also briefly spoke to one of his teachers and she said my sweet little boy is the only one in the class who plays with everyone and doesn't run away when another child gets upset. So his laid back nature must make him easy prey for the biter
Hopefully this will resolve the matter soon. Thank you again for all the nice words and encouragement.
I'm glad you spoke up and hopefully your lo won't be bit anymore. D1 has been bitten twice at daycare, it sucks but I really think it sucks more for the parent of the bittee, because they feel horrible that its happening and they have to deal with an behavioral issue that really has no quick fix.
I agree that's a lot of biting in a short time period but biting is totally normal in that age group. I would address it with the teacher though they should be used to how to deal with it. Typically they shadow the biter and try to not let whatever triggers the biting to happen. Easier said than done though when you have a 4:1 ratio. It's not like one teacher can seriously be expected to shadow the biter 100% of the time so unfortunately it happens.
I've been irritated when DD got bit but when she ended up biting other kids I realized how much it sucks to be on that end too. Thankfully all the kids in her class, her included, seem to be on a biting freeze now. Hopefully it lasts though I'm sure the hitting and kicking phase will start soon.
I also have experience on both sides of this - both of my boys got bitten the day they moved to the toddler room and on and off thereafter. E picked up the habit and now bites as well, but for some reason N has never bitten anyone. It's frustrating when your child likes to bite, but fortunately the parents at our daycare are understanding and know that it's not abnormal. They do separate the children when this happens and turn all attention to the one who has been bitten.
I agree with not telling the parents who is doing the biting because it causes unnecessary labeling. Look back at the previous posts and you'll see why - the kid was labeled as "the biter" and the other parents talk about how no one wants to play with him.