Anxiety and coping mechanisms

Hello all. It's been awhile since I was on this board, but I spent a lot of time here after the birth of my daughter in October 2009. (I created a new sn because TB wouldn't let me change signatures) 

I just had #2- a little boy 8 days ago and am looking for some opinions/ honest advice.

I've had generalized anxiety for almost my entire adult life. I was on Lexapro until we started ttc for #1. I was unmedicated the entire pregnancy but went on Zoloft for extreme anxiety when DD was 8 weeks old. I was on Zoloft until we started ttc for #2.  My anxiety during my son's pregnancy was pretty bad but starting in third tri I turned to exercise to get me through it.  I was very lucky that my body cooperated and I was able to cope by "sweating it out."

My son was born last Tuesday and as expected, my anxiety has exploded. I know a large part of the ups and downs I am experiencing are normal pp hormones, but I'm really struggling with whether I should start Zoloft now or wait the 6 weeks until I can start working out again to see if that works.

I'm crying all the time and constantly agonizing over everything... DD is in daycare b/c it's good to keep her routine, but am I a bad mom for not having her home with me? DS could get sick from her germs... Do I go back to work? I love my job and worked so hard to reach my career goals (I'm a lawyer)... but shouldn't I be home with my kids now that we have two? I was home with DD for 1.5 years and the thought of putting DS in d/c at 12 weeks makes me ill for several reasons. Would I even be happy at home? I'll be going back 3 days per week for the next year and my boss just emailed me saying I got a raise... how can I turn that down? Can I make it all work?

I sound like a brat and I know it... I hate myself for being back in this place again, I had gotten so healthy mentally over these last two and a half years and I feel like I'm going to spend my entire maternity leave crying while my son sleeps. I EBF and nursed DD for 2 years- I'd like to do the same with my son and got a guilt trip from my discharging doctor on the risks of taking Zoloft while nursing. Am I not letting my body go through the normal PP changes by starting meds now or am I just postponing the inevitable? Can I survive the next 5 weeks until I can hopefully get the clear to go back to the gym... and will that even help? Why am I ashamed when if I were talking to a friend I would be telling them NOT to be???  

I'm sorry- that turned into a total vent.  I realize that none of you are doctors and can't tell me what I *should* do, but I would really appreciate any thoughts or comments. I know I'm not alone and a lot of women feel this way and would really like some guidance.