Freaking out (wondering if ultrasound tech slipped)

Charlotte02 · August 2012

At my last ultrasound the tech asked if we were going to find out boy/girl. I hesitated and said yes. She smiled and I thought nothing of it. (I didn't want to explain the whole yes we will but only after the visit. Having the tech write it down on a slip of paper and sharing the surprise with family.) Now I did not notice this but my husband picked up on it and then proceeded to tell me later about it (thank you sweetheart) the entire time she was calling my baby a HE.

Now was this generalized and possibly because I told her I have a son at home or was she actually referring to gender! I feel so upset and have this horrible feeling I am having a boy (I want a boy) but I had a whole plan on gender reveal which would have been a surprise to us too. I know the ultrasound was at a little over 12 weeks but both my sister in law and good friend found out supper early with their boys. Argh I feel so disappointed which seems ridiculous as I don't actually know yet!

yinyang124 · August 2012

At 10 and 12 weeks, my tech kept referring to ours as she. She definitely could not tell the sex, or she would have told us because we had stated that we wanted to know. (They are boys, btw). I would bet that your tech refers to all unconfirmed gender babies as he, rather than it or he/she. Hope this helps!

LovinTim912 · August 2012

Our u/s tech and OB never referred to the baby with a gender until we asked to be told. Then came the "she" and "her."

But for me, before we knew, I kept calling the baby "he" and "him." I think this was just because we have a son and those are the pronouns I am used to. Maybe it was the same thing with your tech that day. ?

eleventhirty · August 2012

I'm sorry this is causing you stress. If it helps, at our a/s yesterday the tech referred to LO as "he" the whole time, even before checking the sex. Try not to let it worry you.

IncogNeato · August 2012

My tech with DD always said, "he" until we found out the sex. I think many of them don't want to offend people by calling the baby "it" and saying, "the baby" gets awkward.

I wouldn't stress. Especially because if she was saying it the whole time, then she would have been saying it before she even knew, if she did.

Oh wait, it was at 12 weeks?

No way. You can maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe tell at 12 weeks but it would take a really really good look and would still be a guess. Relax, she didn't slip.

aelhunt · August 2012

I'm wondering the validity of finding out at 12 weeks anyway. I would wait to spend money on a gender reveal party until after your 20w u/s. Then you can be sure.

ASmallWonder · August 2012

Lots of techs pick one way to refer to babies. But think about it. You truly still don't know what you're having. You're speculating. So even if it turns out to be accurate, she still didn't blow the surprise because she never confirmed what you were having, kwim?

Amegamogo · August 2012

I think techs say he and she instead of saying baby or "it." It's really just a habit. When I went in for mine I wanted a girl very badly and I wanted to know the gender right now. She kept saying "she" and "her." So I asked her about it and she said -"Well, I haven't gotten that far."

Hang in there. It will be a surprise either way

kelly321 · August 2012

I don't have the link handy, but there's a site that shows you boy and girl parts at 12 weeks. They're pretty much indistinguishable because what will become the girl's vagina is still outside the body and, honestly, looks pretty much the same as a penis. There's a theory that the angle of the protrusion is different, but that is very difficult to tell at that point.

I think most techs will just have a default sex they refer to (he or she) so they don't say "it". I'd say it's still a big surprise to come for you :-)

simplein06 · August 2012

I don't understand why you are freaking out. you don't know whether she slipped or not and never will. have the gender reveal as expected and move on.

All of the books I have read either refer to the baby as he or she. Obviously they don't know what I'm having. It is pretty common.

Charlotte02 · August 2012

I know I am being ridiculous but the surprise of the gender reveal party is a huge deal to me this pregnancy! I didn't do anything last time and this is pretty much all I get this time. The whole family is 50/50 on wanting boy to girl so it's kind of fun anticipating. And just the thought of it being ruined made me totally bummed out. This is the first tech that has referred to the baby with a gender. But I am very glad all of you think it's just generalized. I was trying to talk myself into that at 5am and it wasn't working.

amazing22324 · August 2012

simplein06:

I don't understand why you are freaking out. you don't know whether she slipped or not and never will. have the gender reveal as expected and move on.

All of the books I have read either refer to the baby as he or she. Obviously they don't know what I'm having. It is pretty common.

This! Relax hun, you are only 12 weeks, it's way too early to tell and be certain. Do whatever you had planned and let it go!

MrsT1108 · August 2012

Holy hell.

sesigs · August 2012

I've referred to baby as "he" the entire pregnancy and the ultrasound tech referred to the baby as "he" during our NT scan and during the A/S before she got a look at the genitalia (same tech both times). It did turn out to be a boy but I feel like most people pick one pronoun to use and stick with it. If you do in fact end up having a boy I wouldn't think that the tech had ruined the surprise. There are only two pronouns you could use unless you call the baby "it" Stick out tongue

PrimRoseMama · August 2012

You are acting ridiculous. Calm down. 12 weeks is way too early. Even if the tech did slip, she still only has a fifty fifty shot of being right anyway.

Don't flip.

SPerry0376 · August 2012

There is no way to know for sure at 12 weeks. They can only make guesses. I wouldn't think twice about it.

Charlotte02 · August 2012

Like I said I felt ridiculous and I know it's early. (I'm not really a dramatic) I'm sure there are things in everyone's pregnancy that they feel very strongly about. Thank you for all the kind support. I feel more reasonable about it at 11AM and am now waiting for my best friend from high school to text me what she is having. She is at the 20 week ultrasound now and the anticipation is killing me...

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · August 2012

You still don't know, so I would just think of it as the general term she was using to refer to baby. Plus, at 12 weeks there are definitely no guarantees that even if she'd made a guess, she was right. Either way, you didn't ask her whether that was her guess, so again, you still don't know.

Next time, just make sure you are very clear about wanting to find out the way that you do, that way if she slips, at least she was aware in advance.

tiff012982 · August 2012

my tech said she refers to all babies as he

MonicaClaire13 · August 2012

LovinTim912:
Our u/s tech and OB never referred to the baby with a gender until we asked to be told. Then came the "she" and "her."
But for me, before we knew, I kept calling the baby "he" and "him." I think this was just because we have a son and those are the pronouns I am used to. Maybe it was the same thing with your tech that day. ?

Our tech just said "LO" when referring to baby

We had wanted to know ASAP but she was being extremely difficult -.-, sigh, she's her mother's daughter. God have mercy on me..

But some people simply feel uncomfortable saying 'it" and don't think to say "this is your little one's heart" so they just say "this is his/her heart" as a placeholder.

She might've even used "he" on purpose to throw you off and in reality you're having a girl

who knows! it's still a surprise!

MonicaClaire13 · August 2012

Charlotte02:
Like I said I felt ridiculous and I know it's early. (I'm not really a dramatic) I'm sure there are things in everyone's pregnancy that they feel very strongly about. Thank you for all the kind support. I feel more reasonable about it at 11AM and am now waiting for my best friend from high school to text me what she is having. She is at the 20 week ultrasound now and the anticipation is killing me...

okay, well now I want to know what she's having to, lol

You're spreading excitement! I think finding out the gender is one of the most exciting parts of pregnancy. I was ecstatic when we found out, I'd wanted a girl and I just felt like that's what we were having. (I gloated the whole day after I found out we WERE in fact having a girl. My FI was very sweet about it though and even let me have some fries (i've been trying to cut back on my potato addiction))

But I can understand why this would stress you out, kind of like the moment you'd been building up through your first trimester fizzled and died lol

but I think you're safe. It'll still be a surprise because you can't know why she said "he"

Want a personalized experience?

Freaking out (wondering if ultrasound tech slipped)

Re: Freaking out (wondering if ultrasound tech slipped)

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards