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November 2012 Moms
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Frustrated!

DemaraencDemaraenc
in November 2012 Moms

I love my husband, I really do, but I have been so frustrated with him lately. I am really lucky that he is so involved and tries to stay informed with everything. But he acts like he knows EVERYTHING about pregnancy, labor, breastfeeding, and newborn care. His mom had a lot of kids, so I understand he was around kids a lot... but that was all while he was still growing up. And he doesn't fully know the responsibilities or requirements it actually takes to take care of a newborn. When I ask him to read up on something with me in one of our baby books, he says, "I already know all about that." And some of the information he does know, some he doesn't. It's just frustrating that he thinks he's above all of this information. How do I get through to him that he doesn't know everything about breastfeeding and newborn care?! It's driving me crazy :( 

 

 

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Re: Frustrated!

  • Laura_ElaineLaura_Elaine member
    My DH is like that too, although he was the youngest of 17... both his parents were married a before, and are the age of my grandparents... even though DS is only a year older than me... so his parents have experience, not really him.

    Obviously, we've been through pregnancy before, as this is our third, but I say just wait it out... once your LO is here, he'll be faced with reality.

    He doesn't really need to know about breastfeeding and all that, as he won't be doing it. He'll need to know techniques to help you through labor, but he can't ever truly know as he'll never experience it himself.

    Right now, my H is getting over thinking he knows all about potty training. DS is 2 and we are going to try to train him, just so we won't have 3 in diapers if we don't have to... before we started, he said he'd take care of it in a weekend. When that didn't happen, he let me take over... and I work one or two evenings a week and he watched the kids and texted me that he doesn't envy me my job as a mother! Ha! I guess the recognition was nice, though.

    At any rate, I know Hs can be frustrating, but really there is nothing you can say or do to convince him he doesn't know everything. He won't break the baby, but as he actually interacts with LO he'll realize how much he didn't/doesn't know.
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  • DemaraencDemaraenc
    That is great advice! I guess all I can do it prepare myself the best that I can and he will learn when the time comes. I like to be prepared, but I can't force him to prepare himself like I would. Thank you for the quick response! 
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  • Laura_ElaineLaura_Elaine member
    Heh... quick response because I can't sleep. At least you benefit.

    I'd also add maybe just talking with him about things... not asking him to read up on it. That way, you can both get on the same page about things, and he doesn't feel like he has to "learn" something he "already knows"...?
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  • karkissy09karkissy09 member
    I like to throw things out in conversation like 'I read the other day that...' so DH can learn the information without having to sit down with a book since thats not exactly his style. Or as PP said if he isn't responsive to that, he'll figure it out when your LO arrives!
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