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If the NCP has a pet at their house and your LO/step LO is allergic to it how does or did the situation get handled?
Do they just take medicine or get shots? Did the NCP get rid of the pet? Does LO not visit or sleep at the house at all?
Did you have to go to court over the situation? If you did, what did the judge base the decision on?
Thanks!
Do they just take medicine or get shots? Did the NCP get rid of the pet? Does LO not visit or sleep at the house at all?
Did you have to go to court over the situation? If you did, what did the judge base the decision on?
Thanks!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Pets
My SD is allergic to cats so we will never have a cat. Not a big deal.
BM's bf that recently moved in with them had a cat. He had to rehome it with his family b/c SD can't live with a cat. It wasn't even an arguement.
You don't get the pet. If you already have it you do your best to rehome it.
Getting rid of a pet due to an allergy that is nonlife threatening especially in a noncustodial parent household is absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary. This isn't a pets are greater than kids statement, but you make a commitment to a pet that for their lifetime you will be there for them and you do whatever you have to do to keep that commitment. Allergy meds on occasion are no big deal says the person that takes twofour doses a day. Let me also add that if the allergy is severe please look into immunotherapy. I did not have this as a child and as a result even when double dosing allergy meds I can't be in a home with cats for an extended period of time which sucks bc it limits which friends/ family I can visit. Do the child a huge favor and get them that treatment. It will absolutely give them a better quality of life. I started shots later in my twenties and I wasn't able to keep up with them 3 a week, just not possible when working full time.
I am the first person to say that pets =/= humans. But there are enough variables here to not immediately jump to "getting rid of" said pet. If you ask any animal organization, most "rehomed" pets end up getting put down.
The very first thing one needs to do is get a Medical Diagnosis from an Allergist to determine exactly what the allergy is to and its true severity. Our BM swore time and time again that SS had a cat allergy and that DH needed to keep SDs cat (the cat that BM bought in the first place) locked up for every single visit.
Mind you, BM bought two cats and SS has never complained about allergies except right after he comes back to our house with the cat.
Two cat house to a one cat house? We had him tested...no allergies.
Once a true allergy is determined (is it the dandruff or the saliva or the urine?) you can take steps in the house. Here is the list from WebMD.
Coping With Pets in the Home
"We have a three-pronged approach," says Georgeson. "First is avoidance. "You need to limit the areas of the home where the animal is allowed, primarily the bedroom and the bed. Don't forget how much time we spend breathing and touching things in that room."
"Shut the bedroom door," Johnson says.
Other tips:
Managing Your Pet
All the doctors recommended bathing pets frequently, which in the case of cats can be very entertaining. "Even a damp washcloth on the fur can help," Mitchell says (towelettes are also available at pet stores for this purpose).
Keeping the animal's skin healthy with vitamin supplements can limit shedding of dander.
"I have had people saying they would shave their pet," Georgeson says. "That might be helpful, but you will still get dander."
Counter to what you might think, the amount of dander an allergic person breathes does not make the symptoms worse or better. "Dose has no relevance," Johnson says. "Small animal, big animal, long fur, short fur, it doesn't make a difference."
So much for the new designer dogs, such as labradoodles, although some people swear they cut symptoms. One prominent vet has also advanced the theory that female animals cause fewer allergies. This is open to debate.
Last Resorts
"Our second approach," Georgeson says, "is to medicate the patient with topical or inhaled corticosteroids, especially if he or she is asthmatic."
The third? "If all this fails, then there are shots," Georgeson says. Often these must be given every week.
Mitchell, therefore, is enthusiastic about liquid drops absorbed in the mouth that are being developed in Europe, although they are not approved for use here. He says he is confident these will soon be on the scene. "They are pretty exciting," he says.
"There is not a lot of peer-reviewed literature on the drops," Georgeson observes. "The shots can change an allergic person to a nonallergic person."
"Shots," Johnson says, "are the mainstay."
Granted, you are asking the other parent to do something in their home, but for the most part, getting a HEPA filter, providing Benedryl and asking them to keep the pet out of the bedroom should not be that hard to do (for both parents).
Now if I knew that my child had a pet allergy, I would never get said pet, but if I were to fall in love with someone who had said type of pet, I would look at all of the alternatives before I said no to the relationship (because I would never ask that person to rehome their pet given odds it would be killed).
I agree with you, hence my questions regarding the severity of the allergy. You provided some good information.
While I think this is all legit, I do not think a parent should knowingly get a pet their child is allergic to. So my answer would be to this specific situation. Is the pet already in the home or is someone considering it? Did they know about the allergy before the pet became a part of their home? How old is the pet my dog is around 11, I would not regime her if my kids were allergic but if she was 1yo I would find her a new home before giving Benadryl daily. How old is the kid, a teen wanting to deal with allergies for a pet is different than a 2yo getting headaches from a cat. How bad are the allergies?
I'm the CP. My DS is allergic to cats and I have a cat. I had her for many years before DS was born. He had allergy testing done and showed an allergy to cat dander. It's not a severe allergy or even one I would have been able to pick up on without testing. Guess what? I still have the cat. My cat certainly isn't "more important" than my kid. There are easy things to do for some allergies.
First, no kitty in his bedroom. The cat gets brushed and groomed regularly with special shampoo made for using on cats when someone is allergic to them. It does something with the dander and it has really helped. He also takes allergy medicine occasionally. He used to take it every day from when he was just barely a year old (or maybe he wasn't quite a year). Allergy medicine is generally fine for anyone to take daily - even babies. He used to get a bath before bed and go directly to his room (so he would get clean then not be exposed to dander before bed).
It has been over a year now and honestly I don't even know if he's allergic anymore. It has gotten much better over time. He doesn't need allergy meds anymore and the cat isn't bathed as often. She's still not permitted to go in his room though.
If and only IF I had tried all of those things with no success and the allergy were severe would I even consider other options. Just because a kid is allergic to a pet doesn't mean they should have no contact with the pet owner. kwim? It sucks and at first you get defensive about it (I know I did) but try to take a step back and realize it's not really that serious.
I agree with all of this. SS just had allergy testing done and he is allergic to 16 out of 20 environmental substances. DH and I have a cat. BM has cats and dogs. SS is allergic to both. We dont expect BM to get rid of her pets and we eventually would like a dog. There are ways to manage pet allergies. There is no way we can protect SS from everything he is allergic to but there are ways we can do our best to limit his exposure. I think that is the most important thing.
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A lot of variables play into this, as the PP's have been saying. How severe is the allergy, how often does the child see the NCP, how long has said parent had the pet, etc.? If the LO doesn't visit the NCP often (i.e. EOWE or less), and the allergy isn't too severe, you shouldn't jump on the NCP to get rid of the pet. You can, however, ask the NCP to work with you on making things as easy as possible with your LO while they're visiting the NCP. Doing things PP's suggested like medicine, not letting the animal in the LO's room, and have an air filter.
GL.
LO is 2.
Allergy has been confirmed by an allergy dr.
Dr. recommends cats go and says no to shots because of age.
Multiple medication has been tried and has minimal effect of helping allergies.
NCP had 1 cat and dog prior to DX of allergy. Got 2 more cats after knowing about allergy.
Allergies are bad enough to have to miss daycare and cause ear and sinus infections. ENT has been seen and said problems are caused by allergies.
I wish LO was older so the shots could be done and actually verbalize how he is feeling.
Is the shampoo found at the pet store or do you have to get it somewhere special?
Maybe if i recommend the shampoo, keeping the pets out of his room, an air filter outside of his room, and try zrytec again he will do better with it. Then shots when LO is a little older if it continues.
Anyone with the cats what would be the best way to approach the NCP about needing to make these changes? NCP has refused to discuss the cats when asked by my lawyer and has the letter from the allergy dr.
My DS has allergies and his allergies trigger RAD (what they call asthma in children too young to be tested). His doctors do not recommend allergy testing at this time due to his age and the inaccuracy in testing at this age. We are recommended not to have pets of any kind at this point.
Considering my son has been admitted to the hospital for RAD and his allergies are bad enough to require breathing treatments everytime they flare up and we are not 100% sure of the cause. NO WAY in h3ll am I getting a pet even though we all really want a dog and DS would love one. We will wait until he completes allergy testing and at that time if he is not allergic to dogs we will get one, but if he is we will never get one. He will be exposed to dogs at my ILs house & SILs house like he always has been.
If one of my SKs had a severe allergy and the doctor recommended no pets or no dogs, ect then we would find a new home for our pet (if we already had one) the same as we would have done for DS. I would be asking our family and friends because I don't believe in dropping pets off at the shelter.
ETA: my DS is on 2 different medication daily
If XH had a pet DS was allergic to, I would just insist that he handle it. As in, if DS needed meds, XH would have to get them. I would expect that XH would take steps to minimize DS's exposure, too.
If he wouldn't handle it, and left me to deal with the fall out, then he would be getting doctor's bills from me.
If XH refused to deal with it, I'd take him to court.
I wouldn't see it as my place to ask XH to get rid of an animal. Nor would I get in the way of XH's parenting time by saying DS couldn't sleep at his house.
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I would be calling my lawyer. No way I would be ok with the NCP adding more pets to this mix when the child is not doing well with allergies from the pets.