Just needing some thoughts from other preemie moms

Call me Mrs. F · August 2012

Hi ladies

I have lurked here a ton since DS was born at 35 weeks and spent 11 days in the NICU. I have so much admiration for the strength of all of the women here and know that my journey was nothing compared to so many others. I just need some thoughts from those who have been there. I am a huge researcher and reader and love to read about milestones and where my baby is/can be/what things to be doing with him at his age. The problem is, I have no clue whether to treat him like a 3 week old, or 7 week old. I know I was advised that he could possibly act younger than his actual age, but how do i know for sure? He just started sleeping 3 hr stretches at night-up until the last 2 days it was 1.5-2 max and I was dying. I struggle with whether to push him to sleep longer like a 7/8 week old baby could, or leave him be if he really is just 3 weeks. Does anyone feel like me? I am in no way trying to make him someone he is not and is not ready for. I just remember with my first son, I had no idea what I was doing and suffered through sleepelss nights because i thought he was always hungry and when i finally had the courage to just rock him and put him back, he slept like a dream. Now, I dont know what the right choice for this new guy is. Any insight from moms of late term preemies? thank you! sorry for the ramble!

urbanflowerpot · August 2012

Un/fortunately moms of preemies get a prolonged NB phase - that sounds like what you're going through, and it can be very tiring and challenging! I'd go with adjusted age as far as sleep goes - but you really aren't supposed to try and establish a sleep routine until much later no matter how you do your current preemie math.

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time - my guy turned out to be a lousy sleeper. He wakes up joyful, but he still wakes 3 or 4 times a night - and wow, do I ever love the nights he sleeps all the way through!

pathfindermon · August 2012

My little guy is still young and my first, so I can't speak for many milestones yet but I can tell you that he is 12 weeks actual/ 3.5 weeks adjusted and he very rarely sleeps more then 2 - 2 1/2 hours at a time. It is really rough- hoping that it starts to get a little better soon!

Call me Mrs. F · August 2012

thanks so much for all of your responses ladies! I appreciate your help and your honesty. You all hit my feelings exactly-it is so tiring and tough to have such a long newborn phase, but it helps to know i'm not alone! I try to describe to others what it's like to have been nursing every 3 hours/24 hrs a day for 7 weeks, but then basically having a baby who is starting over from the beginning. I wouldnt trade him for anything and want to do what he needs, but it's so helpful to talk with other moms who understand sometimes!

IncogNeato · August 2012

I'd go with adjusted age for now. I know my DD didn't even truly wake up until after her due date. I barely knew what her eyes looked like until she was 6 weeks old!

Treat LO like a newborn for a while longer. Don't push him to sleep longer. In addition to being less neurologically mature than a full term 7 week old, preemies (Even late term) miss out on those last few weeks of neurological development which help them regulate sleep, awareness, stimulation, etc. You don't want to push too hard or expect too much.

mrsemily08 · August 2012

My girls were 35w and definitely followed their adjusted age for sleep.

theboki · August 2012

I consider my baby only 10 weeks old, even though she is actually 15. This seems to work the best for us. She's pretty much right on track for 10 weeks.

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