SO separation anxiety
ras26
member
Sorry this turned out long. For the past couple of weeks, separation anxiety seems to have hit LJ pretty hard. Last week we were visiting my parents out west and we went to a lake. DH and I went out on the boat and left LJ with Grandma and my 2 SILs, all very capable baby handlers. Well, we came back after what was probably about an hour and she'd been screaming the entire time. They tried a bottle, cheerios, toys, walking, cuddling, sitting her down, etc. Nothing worked. I walked up, they handed her to me, and she stopped crying and smiled immediately.
So, this coming weekend, DH and I have tickets to see Totem downtown (DC). Our friends are going to watch LJ, and they are aware of the lake incident, say they are up for the challenge, and swear we'll continue to be friends afterwards. Admittedly it might help that she'll be at home with all her stuff, but I can honestly see her freaking out again. Is there anything I can do in terms of prevention? She even did this with DH like 2 weeks ago, so it seems to be a mommy thing. I have trouble giving tips on how to soothe her because all I have to do is pick her up.
She also does fine at daycare, probably in part because DH drops her off (although she had a new teacher yesterday and her daily report said something about "warming up" to her, meaning that LJ threw a fit when there was someone new).
Baby Girl #2 is on her way!
Re: SO separation anxiety
If she doesn't see these friends regularly (like at least 3x a week), I would have them come over an hour before you leave and everybody try to hang out together but not making a big deal abuot DD playing with them or anything.
Let her warm up, but ask your friends to try to quietly engage her - getting out a new toy and leaving it in front of them. This sounds bad, but kind of like how you would with a new pet - show them what you've got, but let them come to you. And, then you slowly try to exit or at least try to be passive - but present. Then, once she's warmed up (fingers crossed) you can leave. But, of course, tell her you're leaving and when you are ready to go, just go.
I would also probably tell your DD what's going to happen in advance and also give her something of yours to "take care of" while you're gone.
So I hate to say it but if your DD is under 11 months this likely will just continue to get worse for a while. What works best for my DD is distraction. She screamed for about 1/2 hr the other morning when I left her with our new (but not brand new) nanny, and only stopped when they went to the science center--other kids! new toys! Then she was great. But all kids are different and maybe the security of home is better for yours.
Suffice to say, at least, you are not alone! And it sucks, but she'll be okay. Good luck mama.