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Breastfeeding
3 month old - still nursing every 2-3 hrs
My DD turned 3 months yesterday. She's tiny, but the Dr is happy with her growth and weight gain.
Every time I see my mother she questions why I am BFing, why I don't give DD formula, etc. It has really started to rattle my confidence. I have read the books, taken the classes, I know it's normal for BF babies to eat every 2-3 hours but jeesh.
During the day she has 1-2 long naps, anywhere from 2-4 hours. Then at night she has 1 long stretch that's 5-7 hours. Otherwise she eats every 2 hours on the dot. She is starting to take less time to nurse, maybe 15-20 minutes where as she was previously taking 30 minutes. She has a difficult time falling to sleep and I work from home with her so often I just nurse her to sleep for 5 minutes. My mother thinks this means I am nursing her all the time and that she is starving.
I'm at my wits end with my mother and called her a not so nice name yesterday. I have TRIED to educate her but nothing works. She has it in her head that DD needs formula. She hates that I nurse in public and has told me more than once that "no one does that".
Honestly, am I way off base here? DD is in the 7-10th percentile for weight and 50th for height. I had growth u/s every month with her and she has always been in the 10-15th percentile. She eats, plays for 30-60 minutes and then naps for 30-60 minutes.
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Re: 3 month old - still nursing every 2-3 hrs
A 7 hour stretch at 3 months at night is great IMO! I think your LO, at her age, is doing GREAT! Just keep feeding the way you are if it is working for you and your LO. If your Dr is happy, and she's producing enough wet and dirty diapers and gaining at her own pace, then you are good to go! Sounds like she is doing great to me! My mom formula fed and she often gives me the side eye about BF things. She doesnt suggest formula, but I know she's thinking "it would be easier" for us. I think some people just have a hard time understanding when you do things differently than they do.
Sorry your mom is being less than supportive
I would definitely have a heart to heart with her - if she can't respect you in this decision, what else is she going to question about your decisions?
Definitely a normal nursing pattern! The fact that she's sleeping at 7 hour stretch means she's going to eat more during the day. My kids were snackers too (and I'm all about nursing to sleep!!) so I understand.
It sounds like you are doing a great job mama ;-)
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Oh man. My son is six months old and STILL nurses every 2-3 hours (except at night.) So if you're doing something wrong, then I have definitely screwed up royally!!
You sound like you are doing a great job and your mom is very stubborn and old-school. (My MIL has been pushing formula and solids since the day DS was born.) Frankly, I'm impressed that you made it as long as you did before you called her a name!
Keep doing what you're doing, and ignore your mom as much as you can!!
You really need to tell your mom that this topic (infant feeding) is OFF the table. Refuse to discuss it with her any further. If she presses you, leave/ask her to leave. Get your SO on board with this too. These discussions can't and shouldn't continue. It is just stressing you and undermining your confidence, which is ultimately hurting your baby. Your mom is wrong, and we all know it. Keep your confidence, you're doing a wonderful job feeding your LO!
If your mom can't be respectful of your choices, I would say put some distance there until she learns to keep her bad advice to herself.
This!! Um, my 15 month old still nurses 8x a day somedays! I just would not bring it up with her and if she starts talking about it, change the subject.
La Leche welcomes grandmas to all their meetings, if she's actually open to going. There will *gasp* be mothers nursing babies there.
I'm sorry she's shaking your confidence. If she doesn't want to learn about breastfeeding, start just shutting the conversation down. "I don't want to talk about this." is pretty good for just stopping things.
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Does your area have any breastfeeding support groups? The hospital where I gave birth runs one for both SAHM and working moms once a week (the working moms meets in the evening, the SAHM meets during the day.) It might be beneficial to look into that:
1) It gives you a support group of women who can understand what you're going through.
2) Your mom could attend and see how normal you are.
I'm not, she brings it up. She comes over 1-2 times a week to sit with DD while I work from home. I've tried to say, thank you for your opinion/advice but it's not up for discussion. I've tried saying, if you are really concerned you are more than welcome to attend the next pedi appointment and ask the Dr yourself (which she has and the Dr assures her that DD is fine and doesn't need formula or solids) . I have said to her that if she doesn't drop it then she'll have to leave or I will leave (depending if she is here or I am there). I have even gone as far as saying that if she continues to bring it up then I will put DD in daycare along with DS and she will no longer be allowed to spend time with them. She is like a broken record, in her mind if she gives me her opinion/advice that's the law and I should immediately do it. Until I do, she won't stop saying it OVER and OVER again.
I think this and the LLL suggestion are great! I am going to look into them now. I'm not sure if she'll attend but maybe it will help me, if nothing else, cope. I am also thinking about handing her a BFing book and saying, "please read this, once you are finished if you still have questions or concerns then I'll be more than happy to discuss them, until then the subject is not up for discussion".
Maybe it is time to follow through on your threats. Put DD in daycare and tell your mother you need a provider who respects your parenting decisions. End of discussion.
That's what I'm thinking, too.
I'm sorry that your mom is not being supportive, but you definitely have a normal baby there! My DD is 4 months, and now she eats every 1.5-2hours. But she sleeps from 7:30pm-6am or later. She's got to get her calories during the day, and I'm fine with that! Also, re nursing to sleep. If you're ok with it and it works for your baby, then keep it up. I like nursing DD to sleep too, and it works for both of us, so I plan to keep doing it as long as we both like it.