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karatechrissy
member
"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
Im a bad friend - NBFR but would appreciate some advice
karatechrissy
member
I was texting back and forth w my best friend a few weeks ago. I had asked if she wanted to do something but turns out she hated what I had asked if she wanted to do. No biggie. Well, after that conversation was over she had texted me something that was basically an intro to another (important) convo. I never responded. I didn't NOT respond bc I was being a self centered a$&, I literally never saw the text. I think what must have happened is I had the text convo open, then she texted me Nd I must have sat the phone down or something and so it didn't have the little notification of 'new text MSG' or anything. I probably picked it up and did something else, I honestly don't remember. This was back in the beginning of July. I honestly didn't ever see or realize I had a text, though. So weeks have gone by and I haven't heard from my friend. Which is odd. Usually we wil FB or comment each others stuff or what not. I haven't had a single interaction w her. I've said some stuff to her but no reply. I figure she is busy. Whatevs.
So talking to DH last night he asks me something about her and I say I haven't really heard much from her and I need to call her bc it's been a few weeks. I texts her later (me not knowing) and I guess went back a couple times and tells him that I wasn't there for her when she needed me or something. He tells me this and I have NO idea what she is talking about. So I go back to read him our convo to see if I said something rude or upsetting, and there it is. Her last text to me that I didn't reply to. I'm. A. Jerk. Last night was literally the first time I had seen it.
I had texted her a few nights ago about something semi-important and never got a reply, and that's what sparked all of this. To my defense, I didn't go to her thread of texts on my phone to text her though. I knew it had been a while since we talked and that her thread would be far down, so I just went to her contact and hit 'send message'. It doesn't take you to the thread of your convo it just gives you a new MSG box and sends it. Of course it was at the top of my thread list at that point but all I saw as a preview was my text to her.
Anyway, she is upset (rightfully so, I'm sure she wa fuming when I texted about something important and I hadn't bothered to respond to her weeks prior) and I don't know how to explain this without sounding like a total jerk. And I know the story is long and I don't want her to think I've made up some elaborate story to get out of looking like a jerk, but it's the honest truth. Last night was the first time I had seen that last text she sent me and I feel absolutely horrible. She has been my best friend for over 10 years, and I'm afraid I just ruined that friendship over stupid text messaging....
Help?
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
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Re: Im a bad friend - NBFR but would appreciate some advice
Ditto. My friends and I have a rule: If you text me something important that needs a somewhat timely response and I don't respond within an hour, call me. I have a terrible habit of leaving conversations open on my iphone and then I don't receive a notification of a new text. Plus, I'm terrible at actually hitting "send" (a lot of times I hit the "p" and messages never go out - stupid touchscreens). These types of things happen, and they aren't something to hold a grudge about. Especially since if the matter was that important, why didn't she just call you anyways?
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Really, if she is so unforgiving (and it doesn't appear as if she reached out to you multiple times) then she is not a friend. Friends realize that we are all human and we ALL make mistakes.
Yes, she is allowed to be hurt and a little angry, but unless you have a history of flaking out on her when she needs you most, then she should easily forgive you.
Agree. I would go to her house with something in hand (i.e. cookies) and explain what you just told us, & what Kaeldrasmommy said.
Agree. I would go to her house with something in hand (i.e. cookies) and explain what you just told us, and what Kaeldrasmommy said.
Agree. I would go to her house with something in hand (i.e. cookies) and explain what you just told us, and what Kaeldrasmommy said.