Sperm donation?

JennyP9 · August 2012

Hi ladies,

We are in the thick of things with adoption, but I just started thinking about sperm donation as well. In our case, it is mostly male infertility. I have hypothyroidism, but that is it, and a mild case at that.

I don't want to suggest sperm donation if it would hurt my husband. He feels bad enough that it is his 'fault' we can't have a baby. But at the same time, what it is works the first time? What if we get pregnant right away? Would the joy of that outweigh any feelings that it is not 'his' baby? Since we are looking to adopt anyway, would that make things easier?

Has anyone else considered or gone through sperm donation? I would love to hear about others experiences.

Thanks!

Jenny

LnR70707 · August 2012

I have not personally, but you might want to edit your title to say donor sperm, as donation sounds like your H would be the one donating to someone else. Best of luck in your decision.

Sarafuss · August 2012

Our issue is mainly my PCOS so we haven't considered donor sperm. But I think it's something worth discussing. Does he have concerns about adoption and the child not being his biologically? I would think that if he is open to adoption then he may be open to the idea of donor sperm. But you never know how someone might feel about something like that. There are a lot of complex emotions involved in that decision.

This board is pretty slow these days. You may want to ask this question on the Trouble Trying to Conceive board to get more responses. Good luck to you!

LuvWIfootball · August 2012

I'm a lurker, but thought I could add some info. Our infertility was due to MFI. At first, DH was totally against donor sperm. But after some time, and several horrible S/As, he realized that the only outcome we wanted was a baby and the means to get there didn't matter as much. I ordered the book, Helping the Stork and it was very helpful for both me and DH. He said that it was nice to read that other men had the same reservations and fears that he did. DH was scheduled to do a testicular biopsy the day of my egg retrieval and we had a vial of DS as backup in case no motile or mature sperm were found. They did find sperm in DH's biopsy and the DS wasn't used.

I highly recommend that book. You may also want to consider going to a counselor that specializes in fertility issues.

Good luck!

JennyP9 · August 2012

Thanks ladies! I am going to try to talk to him about it tonight, after work. That way, if he says no, I can stop thinking about it completely. I may stop at the library and see if they have that book too.

Wish me luck!

Jenny

austenreader85 · August 2012

I think the ladies on the secondary IF board might also have insight.

Sperm donation?

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