I now SAH mostly (project/contract work) and am now interviewing for a FT/perm job.
The problem? I was at my last FT/perm job for several years that were very tumultuous for me personally. 3 mos in, I was in a bad car accident leaving me with facial bruising (that looked like I was beaten), shortly after XH left me for his pregnant GF. My boss was a little odd, very religious and very into building an "elite" organization. He and two of my colleagues were so outright hostile towards me because of disapproving of my divorce that I actually had to be moved to another team. I was left out of meetings, had people refusing to call me by my maiden name, people were circulating rumors that I'd had an affair with a woman, etc. Really immature ***.
FF a year, I started dating my husband. We got engaged quickly (I'd known him for years; he was a friend of a friend) and moved up our wedding date when we learned I was PG. When I told management, I was immediately dropped from my health insurance plan, and our HR rep (buddies with one of the troublemakers) made some very nasty comments, including one to the effect of, "if you were married, you could just get on your husband's health insurance." Our CEO made her apologize, but she's the one who verifies employment.
My second supervisor, who now works for old boss, has said he'll gladly be a reference. As have several of my clients, who were disgusted by old boss's behavior.
FTR, Oddly, I got "meets expecations" or "exceeds expectations" on all my reviews the whole time at this job.
I know I did nothing wrong, but am petrified that someone will mention what happened when references are called, and I will get written off as a Jerry Springer rejecgt. WDYT, should I mention in interviews something to the effect of, "while I had stellar reviews, unfortunately I was going through some impossible-to-hide life changes that became the fodder for unkind treatment and rumors"?
Re: Address probs at former job - how to handle?
No, never ever throw your old employer under the buss (even if they are an @$$) at an interivew. It makes you look like you are a bitter troublemaker that is not a team player.
Since even with all this drama your boss gave you great reviews it seems like they know HR law very well. If such is true then they absolutely know better than to mention any drama or anything about your personal life during a reference check. They can legally reveal very few things about you - length of service, job title etc.
So I say all this to say you have nothing to worry about and do not trash your former employer.
Oh, I should mention - I think the reviews were because of some extenuating circumstances. Our team had 60% turnover in one year, and I was doing the job of 3 people at any given time. For like 2 years I was the only one who spoke the appropriate language to talk to several of our clients. It got to the point where even my boss admitted they'd have been screwed if I quit too.
Not because of any sort of respect or law thing.
My point was even thought they did not like you personally the obeyed the law and gave you truthfull positive reviews.
Any your response even further outlines the fact you have nothing to worry about.
They smartened up before it had to get that far. Once I spoke to the CEO, I was reinstated within an hour.
So just do nothing? How do I make sure I don't continue losing out on jobs because people (who now have no motive to keep me happy) will go back to being vindictive?
Generally if we would get a negative comment we would bring it up to the hiring manager. The hiring manager 9 times out of 10 would not care about it and would move forward with the hire. I remember one specifically saying that the person #1 didn't get along with anyone in the department and #2 didn't do the job/title he said he had on his resume. The manager still moved forward with him. I work at an IT company so I am talking mid-level to senior level Engineers.
If the HR is professional and knows the laws they will most likely not say anything specific. If the question of "will you rehire this person" comes up this gives them the option of saying "yes" or "no". Normally further details should not be released. It's really a crap shoot I am sorry to say.
If I were you I would move forward with giving them my reference information and use that supervisor you mentioned that would be willing to give the reference OR only give them the HR contact so they don't contact your former manager directly. You could do some sleuth work and call your old job, ask to speak to the HR dept and see what they say when you ask them about their reference policies. Should you just give your perspective employer the HR info rather than the manager, or will they ask for feedback etc.? That way you don't have to take the risk.
I googled and found this article
https://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/2008/09/22/what-to-do-about-a-bad-reference
I wouldn't bring up the problems at all. If they happen to speak to the jerk from HR, he'll likely only be able to verify position and dates of employment. For actual references, list the people you stated would give you positive references and can speak to your abilities.
Should they mention receiving negative feedback from the HR jerk, I would explain what happened as succinctly as possible (he had religious objections to your divorce and remarriage, but the issue was promptly resolved by the CEO; you always had excellent performance reviews- furnish copies).