How long before...

phillygirl526 · August 2012

...you let family members babysit? I know a lot of this probably has to do with my PPD/PPA but I just can't seem to let go of the control. My family keeps asking to watch the girls but I just don't feel comfortable. I don't think people understand how tough two babies are. And in my mind, if I let someone watch them, all hell is going to break loose, they aren't going to eat, they arent going to nap, and the world will come to an end. *sigh* is this normal??

mysteriousmommy · August 2012

I think it really depends on your family. I trust my mom 100% and she actually does watch them 2 days a week while I work. I know she can handle it, but aside from her and my MIL there is really no one else I would trust (other than DH of course).

megs2011 · August 2012

My babies aren't here yet but I think the only one I would trust with them alone (besides myself) would be my mom. DH has no experience with newborns/infants so I would have to see how he is first. My MIL is NOT patient so I could see her getting angry, yelling and possibly even shaking them (which scares me to death). I also would never let her drive the girls because she drives like a maniac! Sorry for the little vent there.

phillygirl526 · August 2012

See, DH is th only one I trust because he knows all of their little quirks like I do. I always assumed I'd have no problem letting my mom watch them but I am finding it really hard now. I'm terrified for some reason that they will cry the whole time I'm gone and she wont know what they need. I obviously have some serious control issues...ugh.

Ourfamilyof5 · August 2012

It's tough. My twins aren't here yet, but I have experience with my singleton. As a parent, it's hard to let go of control and allow someone else to take over completely because, wrong or right, you feel like no one does it better than you when it comes to your child. Plus, as I'm sure you already know, when it comes to younger babies, the slightest change in their schedule, whether it be when they get put to sleep or fed truly can throw them off. That being said, I've learned by now that if it DOES throw things off, it only takes a day or two to get back on schedule...and if it makes your family members feel good that you trusted them to take care of the babies AND help you out, then that just may be worth it.

Maybe you can start small...a quick, close by dinner where it wouldn't be a big deal if you had to leave abruptly IF there were a problem and you needed to get home. I'm sure it'd be nice to get out with your DH alone, even if only for an hour. That time is valuable! Chances are, you won't have to get home during your time out and you may find that things are going just fine and you have time to stop for ice cream

We don't have the issue of family wanting to help because no one lives near us. However, when my DS was 6 months old, we were visiting DH's parents and we decided to go to a movie by ourselves after we put him down for the night. It turns out, he woke up shortly after we left, screaming and crying. He was up crying for about an hour (IL's think he was having gas pains), but by the time we got back to their house, he was sound asleep in the crib again and we never knew there was a problem! So while I might have thought I was the only one that could handle an issue like that...turns out, I was wrong.

I know it's tough and I can totally relate!

phillygirl526 · August 2012

Thank you so much for that. At least I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I know I just need to do it and more than likely, it will be fine!

ColleenS629 · August 2012

That's how it is here even when I leave them with DH. I am rarely ever away from them. I have left them with DH or my dad/ mom here or there for like an hour at a time. I left DH with them for 4 hours to go to a baby shower and it was a mess. One baby wouldn't eat and the other wouldn't sleep. We've been out together like 4 times. All but one was after they go to bed for the night.

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