STMs: What are you doing about childcare?

elfchique · August 2012

We have a four year old DS and I'll probably have a csection and arranging childcare for DS while we are away is causing me such anxiety. We don't want to overburden one person, but our house (and neighbors and friends) is 30 minutes away from the hospital and my parent's house. My parent's house is 15 minutes away from the hospital. Is your DH planning on coming home and spending the night with your DC at home? What is your criteria for letting someone watch your DC? What is the max length of time you're letting someone keep your DC? My in laws are also in town, but using them for childcare is not really what I want to do. (Hoarding- there is no place for DS to sleep, play or eat which can cause some hurt feelings for DH.)

Mrs.G123 · August 2012

My ILs live here so they will have DD1 the whole time... Hopefully only 48ish hours. Sorry you are stressing. If they didnt live here we would have no options. Do you have a babysitter you trust? Or a family member that could arrive on short notice?

danienross · August 2012

I'm planning a home birth and hope DD will be okay staying in the house with me. However DH more than likely won't be here so I'm trying to decide who to line up to possible stay with us some or check up on us those first few days. It's really hard because you don't want to be an inconvenience but you know you need the help. DD has never spent more than a few hours away from me and only family has kept her.

orgnlmama · August 2012

I am with you. Being away from DD is causing me stress. My midwives say if I have another normal vaginal delivery I can be out in one night.

It seemed cut and dry when I got pregnant. DD would go with my dad. Well my dad lost his job and thankfully got another one and now works out of state Monday to Thursday. If he is not around, I have my aunt as backup. If for some reason she can't, my mom (who was going to be in the delivery room with me and DH) will have to keep her.

I am very fortunate that I have a very large extended family that we see on no less than a weekly basis, so DD is very familiar with all of them. I am thinking my dad (hopefully) will keep DD wherever she wants to be... our house or theirs. DH will stay with me in the hospital unless DD is having a hard time, then he will go to her and put her to bed and possible stay the night if necessary.

peanut201b · August 2012

Can you have your in-laws stay at your house with your son so as to keep his schedule somewhat normal? DH will be staying with me in the hospital and my parents will be coming in from out of town to stay with DD. I will also be having a c-section. Granted we will keep DD in daycare during the day but my parents will handle everything outside of daycare.

Good luck.

queenie521 · August 2012

My godmother will come over and watch my kids in my house while I am in labor and DH is with me. DH will, however, be coming home and sleeping here with the boys and will probably come with the boys for a visit the following day.

Why can't you have your parent's or in-laws watch him in your house? I think it is always best to keep them in your house to keep things as normal as possible if you are able to do that.

Mrs.RockyM · August 2012

I'm also having a scheduled csection on a Monday and will more than likely be in the hospital for 4 nights DD1 will be at preschool during the day, and we're having our family members come out to our house to stay with her in the evenings. it's really important to us to keep her life as consistent as possible with all these changes, and that includes sleeping in her own house, in her own bed - even if DH and I aren't there.

DH may come home for a night or two, but it all depends on how I'm doing. I want him to have some time with me and DD2 at the hospital and i don't want to be left alone with a newborn when I can't get out of bed on my own if she were to need me. Whenever possible DD1 is going to come and visit DH, the baby, and I at the hospital, even if it's just for dinner, or after dinner. The hospital is just about 30 minutes from our house too, but DD1 has stayed with both sets of her grandparents at our house before, for a couple days and I think she'll be fine.

Wally3 · August 2012

My parents are here now helping well I'm on bedrest - so DS would just be at our house with them. If baby does not coming in the next 1.5 wks we will re-evaluate the plan. At that time if my parents go home I have 2 friends who can take ds for a little bit - I will probably let him split 2 days between them or my mom will fly in the next day or I will be released home. It really depends when I have the baby.

jessicaskyy · August 2012

We moved to MN to live closer to family. Mil will be staying at our home, so ODS can take the bus to school in the am, and YDS will be comfortable in his home environment. DH will be staying at the hospital with us, unless YDS is having too difficult a time with mil, then he'll stay with YDS after DD is born.

Cooper81 · August 2012

DS has spent many overnights with both my parents and my IL's; both have full nurseries set up with cribs in their house, so depending on when I go into labor it will be either my parents or my IL's, but most likely my IL's since my FIL is retired and often takes DS during the day to spend time with his "little buddy." I am hoping for a VBAC with a MW, so hopefully we are only in the hospital for 24 hours. DH will stay in the hospital with us, but we will also play it by ear. Is there any way your IL's could stay with your DS at your house, so there is some place for him to sleep and also not a huge change in scenery for your DS?

HarrietNJMommy · August 2012

I'm a lot more laid back than you. Someone will watch the kids. Most likely, my c-section will be in the a.m. during the week and the girls will be in school full day, and my DS will be at a friend's house.

My criteria for a babysitter: they are willing, breathing, responsible adults. That's basically it.

DH will watch the kids after my c-section and during my stay in the hospital.....so that's covered.

GL!

nealbl · August 2012

I am a RCS on Thursday 10/25 and my hospital is 5 min from my house. My Mom usually comes down one day a week and watches DD just for fun! She is going to come down that morning, so to DD it will be like a normal day with my Mom. We will head to hospital we are scheduled for the morning so 8:30. If everything goes ok I should be in our main room by 10:30. At that point we will call everyone and tell them we are good to go for visitors, although DD gets to come in first by herself. My Mom will take her home and then is going to stay the night with her at our house and drop her off at daycare the next morning. She will spend all day at daycare so DH can spend as much time as possible with me and DD#2. If I or he thinks he should stay the second night then DD#1 will stay with my MIL who also lives 5 min from hospital. If not DH will go get her after daycare and bring her to hospital and we will all eat dinner together and hang out as just our family. Then he will go home with her. I should get to come home Saturday.

Starting the next week she will be going to daycare 2 days a week and staying home with me the rest of the time.

The_Jen626 · August 2012

My DD will be going to her daycare during the week from 7am-6pm, and then staying at MIL's house at night. I will be going in to the hospital on Tuesday morning, so we'll drop her off at daycare, and then MIL will be in charge of her until we get released, hopefully by Friday or Saturday at the latest.

irish city girl · August 2012

My MIL is coming to our house (she lives an hour away) and will stay with DS while I am in the hospital. I am sure DH will come home and spend time with DS while I'm in the hospital too, but DH plans to spend the nights with me. DS loves grandma so he'll think it's the greatest thing ever having her here all the time. My parents may come too depending on when during the week DS2 is born (they live 5 hours away and still work).

tamararachel2 · August 2012

My FI's parents are coming in. I have an RCS scheduled on Wed 10/3. DS will be in preschool in the mornings and between my FI and his parents, someone will always be at home with DS. We will let DS come to the hospital after school for a bit so he doesn't question where Mommy is, but our plan is for DS to stay at our house with my FI's parents while my FI stays at the hospital with me. I told my FI he can stay at home whenever he feels like it, but for now he says he won't want to leave me there by myself. If something should happen and I end up going into labor early or they need to move up my RCS, we'll have to play it by ear until my FI's parents can get here. I'm not letting something like that stress me out though. Everything will work itself out.

melodramatic26 · August 2012

Scheduled c-section. Both sets of grandparents live over an hour away. Hospital is 10 minutes from our house.

My mom is coming the night before (Tuesday) and staying at our house. Dh and I have to leave at 5:30am for surgery. My dad will come over later in the morning. My parents will come to the hospital and bring DD after surgery and once in our room.

In laws will come visit sometime that day.

My mom will stay the night (Wednesday) Dh will stay the night with me in the hospital.

My parents are taking her to the zoo onThursday and staying over that night as well. Dh will be with me in the hospital.

friday, Dh will take DD to daycare and will stay with her on Friday night. Saturday dh and DD will come back to the hospital when it's time for us to be discharged so we will go home as a family.

rnbeth477 · August 2012

We have no family close. My mom is flying in a week before my due date to stay with DS while we're in the hospital. I don't really have a time limit set for how long she'll stay with him.

If I go into labor early, we'll take DS to my friend's house who lives in the neighborhood. She'll watch DS until after we have the baby, then DH will go pick him up. I'll just stay at the hospital alone with the baby.

valkyriemama · August 2012

I'm having a scheduled c section. My MIL will come the weekend before and will stay with us for a week or two afterwards. My husband will come home every night to be with the older 4 kids. She'll put the older two on the bus and the younger two will stay with her during the day. My hubby will go to work on the mornings I'm staying in the hospital, as he'd rather take the time with the baby when we're home. He's like the senior engineer on his project so taking too much time at once can be a pain. He also HATES hospitals as his first wife spent a lot of time in them before she died. After the older two get home from school he'll bring the kids to see the baby and me each night I'm in the hospital.

MichelleL1118 · August 2012

I'm having a repeat c/s. DH will stay with me in the hospital the first night, and my mom will stay at our house with DS. DH will come home to do the bedtime routine that night, though. After that, assuming I'm healing/recovering OK, DH will come home at night to be with DS & I'll just have the nurses in the hospital, then they'll come visit in the evenings after DH gets off work.

jenn2714 · August 2012

This is my first child near family but I will probably do what I did with my other 2. When I had my first, my SS was 6, he stayed the night at a close friends house and went to school the next day like always. After baby was born my husband went home I didn't have him stay in the hospital with me for very long. I'd say he was at the hospital with me maybe for 2 hours after baby and then wasn't back until the evening after SS was out of school and had eaten. With my 2nd, labor began in the evening so I was able to get the kids to bed and we had a friend couple come stay the night while I was at the hospital. Baby was born at 614 am and my husband left to go home by 730 because my DS was not used to being away from me and not used to others taking care of him. Needless to say the couple only had about 30mins- an hour of actually taking care of the kids. Again my husband didn't return to the hospital til the evening with both kids. I know that family would be more then willing to watch and care for the kids while I'm in the hospital this time. and it being my 3rd I should only be there for 24 hrs. or so after birth, but I will probably have my husband leave to take care of the kids after this baby is born too.

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