Does your SO help with nighttime feedings?

shakinros · August 2012

My husband, who is awesome, has been getting up with me during MOTN feedings. He checks baby's diaper and changes her if she needs it, gets me water, and then hangs out with us until the feeding is done. We are generally doing two feedings overnight and I don't wake him up for the early morning.

He's going back to work in two days and I wonder if I should tell him he doesn't need to do night feedings any more. I LOVE not dealing with diapers at 3am but after that's done, he doesn't really have a task to do. Seems a bit selfish of me to wake him up just so I can have company.

What does your husband/partner do to help you out with nighttime feedings? Anything?

MrsWhipple · August 2012

My DH is a truck driver so when he is working he doesn't get up at night so he can get his sleep. However on the weekends I get a break I am formula feeding and he does the night feedings.

Tash13 · August 2012

Not usually. I don't see the need for both of us to get up in the middle of the night if it's not necessary. He will change her if he does happen to wake up and will take her for a while in the early morning so I can get some really restful sleep (LO makes a ton of noise in her sleep so I wake up even when she's still sleeping).

Cbarajas08 · August 2012

Tash13:
Not usually. nbsp;I don't see the need for both of us to get up in the middle of the night if it's not necessary. nbsp;He will change her if he does happen to wake up and will take her for a while in the early morning so I can get some really restful sleep LO makes a ton of noise in her sleep so I wake up even when she's still sleeping.

This. He usually takes DD until midnight so I can get some rest then and if I need some more rest in the a.m. he will also take her. It is a little different in his days off. I know this will change once I go back to work but for right now, it works pretty well.

katiem1025 · August 2012

You girls are lucky! During the week it is all me and sometimes on weekends he will take her if she doesn't fall right back to sleep and try to soothe her.

We just intro'd the bottle so I'm hoping he will take over one of the night feedings but his hours are so crazy it still wouldn't be a nightly occurence

rp-chicago-mom · August 2012

I don't see the point and diaper changes act as double duty to wake him up for the other side. He does get up with him after the five am feeding so I can sleep though.

AprilAngie · August 2012

My dh goes to work pretty early and as I EBf I don't wake him. LO sleeps in a playpen on our room so sometimes he will hear her and change her bit that is it. Also, we have three other kids so sometimes if they get up he tends to them.. But he is up at 430 am so I try not to get him up

bigbootyjudi · August 2012

Yep. I head to bed at 8 and SO takes over until 11 or so, then I'm with LO all night, and SO takes back over at 5am when he's up getting ready for work until 8:30am when he leaves. We EP, and it's so nice to have the help. I can't imagine if I was the only one getting up! SO works fulltime and goes to school fulltime. I know he's busy, but if I need his help, I don't hesitate to wake him up and he actually gets mad when I let him sleep for too long.
I don't see the reason for both of you to be up. The only time we're both up is when LO is having a rough night or he's feeding and I'm pumping.

mindymaske · August 2012

we bottle feed, breast milk and formula. so my hubby did half of all the night feedings the 10 days he was off work. He went back to work yesterday so now I do them all.

ks3pink · August 2012

DH works 24 hour shifts with no guarantee of sleep so if he has to work the next day I let him sleep, if not and both babies are up I get him up. I am sure when I go back to work he will take some of the feedings on his own so I can rest but for now I don't mind because he was a life saver those first 2 weeks when he was home.

jesslinnn · August 2012

I'm BFing so there isn't much for him to do. Plus he gets up with DS1 and has pretty much taken care of the house and cooking since we've been home so I'm able to rest during the day.

jessalynn521 · August 2012

On weekends we alternate b/c I am EFF. During the week I do feedings alone, but that is because I am up a total of an hour a night. (he does two feedings overnight 2.5 oz and each one between it and changing him takes about 1/2 hour.) For us since I am SAHM and DH works we have found this is the most effective way to do nighttime feedings.

latnprincess · August 2012

mel689:
I'm BFing so there isn't much for him to do. Plus he gets up with DS1 and has pretty much taken care of the house and cooking since we've been home so I'm able to rest during the day.

This. But if we were formula feeding, like we did with first LO, he would totally split the night feedings with me. He tells me he wishes he could.

ccam · August 2012

DH has been awesome and helps out whenever he can. He was only able to stay home with us for a week during that time he would get up and hang out with us while I was feeding. Now that he's back to work and needs his sleep, I try really hard not to wake him. Occasionally, he'll take the baby after a feeding to put him to sleep for me though.

Bemyselfandi · August 2012

This is going to sound rude and horrible...but I don't trust SO during the night. He'd have to get up, go to the couch, and NOT fall asleep. I know the attitude I'd get making him get out of bed when I just sit in bed and feed her. "Why is that fair?" I'm sure is the comment I'd get for kicking him to the couch to feed her...But he seriously will fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

I'm a SAHM so I do the nighttime feedings, I don't really mind. I'd rather him get up early in the morning if she gets up around 5 or 6 so I can get a little extra sleep (if DS sleeps in, too.)

You're a very lucky woman to have a very willing and conscious man in your life! (I have a great man...just not conscious in the middle of the night haha!)

eclipselova4eva · August 2012

My husband gets her out of the pack and play in our room while I get all the diaper changing stuff ready. Since he is working, that is pretty much all I ask from him. I honestly don't mind getting up in the middle of the night with DD and am pretty wide awake for all of her feedings. I love having just me and her time

mmdailey · August 2012

You ladies are so lucky! Congrats on having good men who help you out! I'm so jealous!

earb · August 2012

My DH is a teacher, so he was off for the first couple weeks of our baby girl's life, so when I was getting up in the middle of the night for feedings, he was waking up too (on his own) and doing much the same as the OP's - getting mommy water and changing the diapers. He is back to work now, so I don't ask him to wake up or do any of that, but he at least wakes up, moves over closer in bed to me, snuggles up on my leg, and falls back to sleep. Just by doing that, I feel less alone in the middle of the night

pixieprincss · August 2012

We bedshare and EBF, so there is nothing for him to help with in terms on DS2 in the night. Before bed, he preps a bedside diaper bag to help. DH does take charge of DS1 at night and early morning, though. His night needs are minimal, but in the morning DH gives him breakfast, gets him dressed, etc. so I can sleep in until about 8.

JayandEmm · August 2012

He doesn't help much in the MOTN; I'm ebfing, but he will get up and get me a diaper or a glass of water if I need it. He said he feels bad that I do everything at night, while he sleeps, so he's been taking over diaper duty during the day and burping him after his feeding.
He's also been a huuuge help around the house and with the dogs and the cat. And as a matter of fact, I'm about to send him to the dollar store to pick up some pads for me!

PaisleyRuth · August 2012

Not at all. I EBF, so I would have to get up anyway to pump if I were to give him a bottle to give her. Diaper changing takes like 1.5 minutes, and as a PP said, it is helpful for getting her to wake up when she falls asleep mid-feeding. Actually, I don't think DH has changed a single diaper of hers (I really don't mind diaper changing honestly - and hers are certainly way better than DS's!).

DH is an extremely heavy sleeper, whereas I will immediately hear the baby crying. There were times with DS that I would try to wake DH up to get him, but it's just pointless because I would spend 20 minutes trying to wake DH up, while the baby is crying and I could just take care of things myself.

There are times I feel a little resentful, especially if she doesn't go right back to sleep after feedings (usually she does) and I have to be up longer periods or more often than once or twice, and he's just sleeping away & doesn't hear a thing. But we both have a lot on our plate right now, so I know he isn't slacking off even if he doesn't help much at home.

rels09 · August 2012

Yes, he does. We each take one of her two middle of the night feedings. However, because H is back to work, he only feeds her and changes her diaper with the one that he does. That takes about 10-15 minutes. Then he gives her to me to hold her upright for 20 minutes and do any necessary soothing to get her back to sleep. So he is up, but not for long. I feel this is pretty fair as a system. At least, it works for us.

Nikko Blue · August 2012

He changes diapers and gives LO bottles of pumped milk on Fri/Sat nights. I don't have him get up during the week because I don't want him to be too tired at work. I can take a nap if I need to - he can't.

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