TTC after 35

Just call me the Queen of denial..

Even though my RE made it clear that IVF was my best option I can't help but feel hopeful this month since I had my HSG...

And then I remind myself that it won't happen... IVF, blah blah blah

And then I think "But people post crazy success stories all the time.."

And then I say "But it has been THREE YEARS!"

And then I get mad at myself--but I am not sure if it because I am in denial about what the RE said or because I am giving up on myself.

UGH!!!  TTC has brought me to the point of having actual arguments with myself.  Mental.  That is what I am.  Totally mental.

FP is due on Thursday.. trying to stay sane til then.  

Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image

Re: Just call me the Queen of denial..

  • Now you know what the problem is, isn''t there something DH can take or do to improve his numbers.  Mine did some research and started taking supplements, he avoids hot tubs etc and high impact sports.  He says, it takes 3 months for his goods to replenish themselves.

    I'm probably not helping. 

     

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  • imageBabyVDM:

    Now you know what the problem is, isn''t there something DH can take or do to improve his numbers.  Mine did some research and started taking supplements, he avoids hot tubs etc and high impact sports.  He says, it takes 3 months for his goods to replenish themselves.

    I'm probably not helping. 

     

    He is now taking a supplement.. Fetile Aid for Men.  I actually bought it for him a long time ago and he complained about how big the pills were...

    But now he is taking it without complaint.  :)  Maybe it was seeing me swallow my THREE huge pills all at once that showed him swallowing ONE is possible!  lol.

    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
  • I have hopes for you llama it only takes one and you did the hsg several women are successful after they have that procedure done!

    Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

    IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :)  EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!


     "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


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  • Of course you think it could happen!  Have you seen I didn't know I was pregnant? People who's drs. told them that they had no chance get pregnant.  People who have their tubes tied, husband's vascetomied, everything- pregnant.  They have given me this crazy hope for years.  But seriously, I think that his numbers are better than 0% so you do have a chance.  I would look into a second opinion and maybe IUI.

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  • My DH's numbers were quite low around 18 million prewash. He started using a laptop desk and not putting the hot computer on his lap. I also got him Fertility Blend for Men from GNC. He started off taking 3 a night. He has tapered down to 2. He also takes Omega 3 and CoQ10. His last counts for IUI have been 12 million post wash which the dr says is great.
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  • Hang in there, llama! 
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  • imageowlprof:
    Hang in there, llama! 
    THIS!!

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • imageBeckyP005:
    imageowlprof:
    Hang in there, llama! 
    THIS!!

    Agreed.  but don't worry about "arguing" with yourself.  We all do it.  Granted, this process may make you do it a little more...

    When you start hitting yourself like the woman in the thermostat commercial, then it's committal time.. Wink 

    Us: 39(me)/41(he). TTC since April '11. DOR/MFI. March '12: surgery to remove fibroids, cysts, and endometriosis.
    IVF #1: 9/13/12. ER: 9/25. 3R, 2M, 1F. ET: 9/28 (1-6B). Beta: moved from 10/11 to 10/10: BFN.
    IVF #2: 11/12 cycle postponed due to Sandy and then cancelled due to elevated E2.
    IVF #2.1 cancelled due to cyst.
    IVF #2.2: 2/2/13. Converted to IUI. BFN
    IVF #3.0: 3/2014. BCP & Microdose Lupron.  Cycle cancelled due to poor response.
    IVF #4.0: 2/2015. EPP @ new RE. ER: 3/8. 3R, 3M, 1F. ET: 3/11 (1-8cell). 3/23 Beta: 16.9. 3/25 Beta: 71.6. 3/27 Beta: 300. 3/29 Beta: 800 3/31 Beta: 1816. 4/1 Beta: 4342. m/c at 6w2d. Goodbye little one. I loved you already.
    P/SAIF Welcome.
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  • Llama, I'm just catching up on posts from being out on vacation and I see your HSG went well...Congrats! I also read about DH's morph Sad but it looks like you guys are doing everything you can to boost performace. I do think you should consider IUI before jumping into IVF based on all the feedback you got from the ladies here. I just wanted to send you big ((HUGS)) and am praying for you to have a lucky extra-fertile cycle after that HSG!!
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