DH isn't taking it well — The Bump
Infertility Veterans

DH isn't taking it well

I called him to tell him the news just now.  Even though he knew my pee sticks were negative he was so hoping for a miracle.  He said he "feels sick to his stomach"; I could tell in his voice he was trying so hard not to cry.  And now I'm tearing up too.  Why can't we just have a child already?!?!

[IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/ogbg9i.jpg[/IMG]

TTC since 2008

8 IUIs of varying med combos: all BFNs

IVF #1 w/ICSI (Long Lupron): 5R, 2M, 1F

3dt of 1 = BFFN

IVF #2 w/ICSI (Antagonist): 10R, 8M, 4F

3dt of 2 = BFMFN

1 frosty just chillin'

IVF #3 (Antagonist): started stims 12/15

Click here to look inside my warped little infertile mind

Re: DH isn't taking it well

  • Again, I am heartbroken for you and DH. This sucks so much.
    imageimageimage

    TTC since March 2009 // Me and DH - 28
    Testing Summer/Fall 2010 - Unexplained IF
    IUIs #1-4 ~ Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IUI #5 ~ Femara/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ BFN
    IUIs #6-9 ~ Research Study Meds/Pregnyl/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IVF Consultation, More Testing
    Diagnostic Cycle ~ Mucinex/Progesterone/TI ~ BFN
    IVF #1 ~ Menopur/Bravelle/Ganirelix/Novarel/Progesterone/Lupron
    7R, 6F // 2 transferred // 3 frosties ~ BFN
    FET #1 ~ Estrace/PIO/Lupron
    3 thawed // 2 transferred // 1 lost // no more frosties ~ BFP!!
    Beta #1 - 456 // Beta #2 - 1176 // Beta #3 - 2933 // Beta #4 - 6753
    EDD: May 16, 2013
    Threatened MC at 6w2d
    Bedrest for SCH // 6w2d through 10w1d
    Elevated TSH and Lazy Thyroid DX @ 10w - Started Synthroid
    Finally released from RE at 13w
    Charles Everett ~ Born 5/20/2013

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    ~~ My IF Blog ~~ 

  • I'm so sorry.  Why does it have to be so hard?
  • Seeing the hurt in your SO makes it that much more cruel. I'm so sorry.
    imageimage

    Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
    DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
    Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
    IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
    FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
    IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
    SAIF/PAIF always welcome

    a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis

    image
    check out my blog!


  • ((((((hugs))))))

     I'm really sorry for both of you.

    Us: 39(me)/41(he). TTC since April '11. DOR/MFI. March '12: surgery to remove fibroids, cysts, and endometriosis.
    IVF #1: 9/13/12. ER: 9/25. 3R, 2M, 1F. ET: 9/28 (1-6B). Beta: moved from 10/11 to 10/10: BFN.
    IVF #2: 11/12 cycle postponed due to Sandy and then cancelled due to elevated E2.
    IVF #2.1 cancelled due to cyst.
    IVF #2.2: 2/2/13. Converted to IUI. BFN
    IVF #3.0: 3/2014. BCP & Microdose Lupron.  Cycle cancelled due to poor response.
    IVF #4.0: 2/2015. EPP @ new RE. ER: 3/8. 3R, 3M, 1F. ET: 3/11 (1-8cell). 3/23 Beta: 16.9. 3/25 Beta: 71.6. 3/27 Beta: 300. 3/29 Beta: 800 3/31 Beta: 1816. 4/1 Beta: 4342. m/c at 6w2d. Goodbye little one. I loved you already.
    P/SAIF Welcome.
    My Blog
    imageimage Birthday image

  • I'm sorry. I hope you can find comfort in one another as you deal with this horrible unfairness.
    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
  • It makes it even more difficult when you see just how bad your DH wants it and you know what a great father he'd be. That is always the kicker after a BFN. I hope you guys are able to grieve together through the weekend, although I am so sorry that's the case. 

    big hugs 

    (Live in Europe) TTC since 1/2010
  • Hugs, it just sucks.
    TTC 12/2009 Dx Severe MFI/azoo 6/2010


    IVF 1 (long lupron): mc 7w4d, D&C 11/23/10


    IVF 2 (antagonist w co cultures): cancelled 2x due to no sperm


    IVF 2.2: ER 6/9/11 3dt of 2 (1 frostie :), BFN

    IVF 3 (EPP w co cultures): 9/2011 (cancelled, irregular pap) LEEP 9/2011

    IVF 3.1 (11/2011) EPP w co cultures: 3dt of 3- BFN Again

    Natural sFET 1/2012: -ET of the "lone wolf (Wolfie)" 1/29

    Beta 2/8 BFP!! Betas: 119 @14dpo, 388 @16dpo, HB 6w2d 131!!

    dx GD @ 28 wks, insulin dependent






    *s/paif always welcome*






    Can't wait to meet Wolfie!!!

    [url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
    [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10054;11/st/20121016/k/d109/preg.png[/img]
    [/url]
  • ((HUGE HUGS)) to your and your H. I'm so, so sorry.
    TTC 12/2009
    Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
    IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
    E & C Born 10/19/2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • My heart goes out to you and your DH.  The pain of a BFN is tough enough, then to witness your DH sort through the sadness is just unbearable.  Deepest sympathy and lots of empathy.  Hugs.

    Countless BFN(s)
    Moving to IVF

    IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
    6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
    Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
    Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

    Pressing Forward

    IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
    13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
    Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

    FET. 2TFR'ed.
    Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
    Where do we go from here?

    Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
    ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
    Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
    Finally some (tough) answers.


    IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
    13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


    Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
    Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
    BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
    Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

    1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

  • HUGS
    2/11 Diagnosis: DOR-AMH .62, LPD and MFI-4% Morph
    IVF #1-July 2011 7/9/11-Started Stims
    7/20/11-ER:No eggs in 4/5 follicles. Left the 5th follie intact and converted to an IUI
    8/3/11-Beta #1=BFN,
    Nov, 2011 BFP #1=m/c at 7 wks 3 days
    11/11-AMH .47, IVF #2 March 2012...or not!! Surprise BFP on 2/19. Beta #1=161. Beta #2 305 Our little miracle girl is on her way! Due Oct 29, 2012
    <a href="http://s1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/andersenspics/?action=view
  • awww Sad  I just confessed to my DH that I have been secretly poas'ing all week and that they are all BFN's...I thought he was gonna cry....he may have, I had to bring the dog to the vet.  I think I can't cry anymore...I just get angry.  (((HUGS))) to you both and be there for eachother.
    Anniversary
    TTC #1 since 3/10:
    DX: Me-PCOS, retroverted/ tilted ute - DH- MFI, DH-4 mo of Clomid therapy= no improvement. Weekly HCG injections.
    Me-34, DH-33
    HSG- unsuccessful, SHSG (dialated)-no blockages
    7/11-Clomid (unmonitored) BFN,
    #1 Fresh IVF 9/11: w/ ICSI & AH (only option): (1 transfered, 8BF) = BFN!!
    #2 FET: 2 transferred (2 6BF) 12/11 = BFFN!!
    Surprise + HPT on break! 2/12 Beta 1: 6 Beta 2: <5 = c/p ( RE had given me provera... So pretty sure this ruined everything)<BR> #3 Fresh IVF 3/12: w/ ICSI & AH (2 transfered 8BF & 7BF, 1 to freeze) = BFMFN!
    New RE 5/12
    6/14 Hysteroscopy
    #4 Fresh IVF 8/12: 5dt of 2 5AB blasts = BFN!... what else is new?!?
    New RE insists its a transfer issue, immunology checked & good
    #5 IVF FET 1/13 under anesthesia : Two 5 day blasts transferred
    + HPT!! Beta1: 2315 Beta2: 6442 Beta3: 31,061
    First u/s 1/30/13: Shows 1 healthy heartbeat!!

    Was he was right? I wasted 4 IVF's and the doctors were not getting the catheter in?!?
    ~~ Bump Bestie/ IRL Lynn0926 ~~
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • image NMscubagirl:
    Seeing the hurt in your SO makes it that much more cruel. I'm so sorry.
    So true. I'm sorry.
    [IMG]http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i233/katt3233/infertility.jpg[/IMG]

    My Blog /
    My Chart

    TTC since Jan 2007 with MFI and crappy left tube
    IUI#1 (10/09)=ectopic
    Natural (03/10)=ectopic
    IUI#2 (08/10)=ectopic

    IVF#1 (10/11)=BFN
    (4 frozen embryos)

    Natural (01/12)=ectopic
    Emergency lap and left tube removal.Dx with Stage III endo.
    Natural (08/12)=M/C of twins at 8 wks with d&c
    Waiting for FET
  • I'm so sorry you two have to go through this.  It's so unfair!!!
    TTC #1 Since 11/08 - Dx: MFI & PCOS
    7 IUIs = All BFNs
    2011: March IVF #1.2 = e/p @ 6w: May IVF #2 = BFN: July sFET #1 = BFN

    2012: Jan We're Certified FC/A Parents
    May IVF #3 = c/p
    June-Nov Foster Mommy to M (Toddler)
    July FET #2 = BFN
    Aug FET #3 = BFN
    Sept-Nov Foster Mommy to Baby Bella (Newborn)
    Nov HSG/Sono = Clear!
    Dec FET #4 = BFN

    2013: Feb FET #5 = m/c @ 6.5w
    May-July Foster Mom to H (8 yr old girl)
    June/July/Aug IVF #4 = Freeze All
    July = Unofficially Adopting T (10 yr old boy)
    Sept FET #6 = TBD
    **PAIF/SAIF Welcome**
  • Hugs. It just sucks.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • I am so so sorry for your BFN hun. It's so much harder when DH doesn't take it well. Many hugs and thoughts to you guys.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    TTC since March/April 2010
    DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
    DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
    June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
    Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
    IVF - January 2012: BFN
    FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
    After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
    image
  • This is so unfair.  I'm sorry that you and YH have to be in this situation...I hope that you're able to have some good time together and a few distractions this weekend.  Lots of good thoughts headed your way!
    TTC since honeymoon in 9/2010
    Me: 39, Dx DOR (FSH = 10.5, AMH = 0.43, best AFC = 10), AMA
    MH: 37, Dx Obstructive Azoospermia, multiple successful sperm retrieval procedures

    1/2012: IVF/ICSI #1 Antagonist = cancelled d/t poor response to max stims
    2/2012: IVF/ICSI #2 MDLF (4R, 4M, 1F) = BFP, saw heartbeat, missed m/c 9w0d, D&E
    8/2012: IVF/ICSI #3 EPP/MDLF (7R, 2M, 1F) = BFN

    12/2012: (New RE) Operative hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue

    1/2013: IVF/ICSI #4 Low-dose stim/Antagonist (AFC=6); ER=1/26 (5R-couldn't access rt ovary, 5M, 4F), ET=1/29 (trans 3) = BFP!; 2/11 beta#1(13dp3dt)=2127, 2/13=3367; twin girls due 10/19/13

    PAIF/SAIF very welcome!

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16bf7d.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  • It is just so unfair.  Thinking of you guys and sending a huge (((hug)))
    SAIFW
    TTC since 2008 dx PCOS & MFI
    Clomid/Femara no "O"
    IVF #1 BFN
    FET #1 cancelled for biopsy
    FET #1.2 c/p, July 2012 c/p
    IUI #1 & 1.2 canceled
    IVF #2 ER 12/1, Freeze all due to OHSS
    FET #2.1 cancelled due to DVT risk, FET #2.2 Jan 2013
    my blog
    image
  • It is so unfair.  I've been through two failed IVF cycles, like you.  Each one was a punch the gut.  I remember trying to be strong as I held my dh while he cried and told me his best friend's wife was pregnant. 

    Prayers for you.  Do something nice for yourself. (((BIG HUGS)))

    PCOS
    TTC since October 2008

    IVF/ICSI #1 12/7/2011 = BFN
    IVF/ICSI #2 1/31/2012 = BFN
    IVF/ICSI #3 March 2013 Cancelled
    IVF/ICSI #4 5/30/2013 = BFP
    EDD 2/5/2014

    **PAIF/SAIFW ALWAYS WELCOMED**

    "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7)

    image
  • Hugs sweetie.  I wish had an answer for you, but I will never understand.
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Oh sweetie - i am so sorry. We always think it is hard on us but they do feel it as well. I know this past cycle my DH refused to believe it was another BFFN - even though I peed on a dozen of them. He was crushed when we actually got the call.

    Hugs

    TTC 1/2010 DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
    Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
    DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
    IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
    IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
    1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
    Prayers for our take home babies!
    2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
    My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
    Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
    IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
    Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
    Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
    A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
    Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
    IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
    transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
    Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
    Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
    Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
    AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • So sorry and sad for you. I was so hopeful. The world is such an f-ing unfair place.
    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • ::huge hugs::
    S/PAIFW
    Tara & Dave - TTC since September 2006
    PCOS - dx 1999 (amenorrhea) | freakishly long fallopian tubes
    Hypoglycemic | thyroid issues | severely anemic
    Multiple Clomid cycles of 50, 100, 150 - absolutely no response
    Follistim 50/100 | Follistim 75/125 | Follistim 100/150 IUI - all BFNs
    Converted IVF - BFP - m/c | FET - BFN | IVF #2 = BFN
    IVF #3
  • oh my goodness, I am so very sorry :(
  • I am so sorry.  My thoughts and prayers are with you both.
    Married 12-12-04
    TTC since 07
    me-36 PCOS, Tubal Problems, and polyps removed 7-12
    DH - 36 extremely handsome and no fertility problems
    IUI 8-12 and 9-12 failed
    IVF 12-21-2012 - 2 I think perfect no matter what the dr graded them (2B)embryos transferred Beta on 12-31-12 Positve - Beta is 21
    Beta 2 1-2-13 - 31
    Beta 3 1-4-13 - 53
    Beta 4 1/9 - 212!
    Ultrasound 1/10 - Nothing completely empty uterus Beta 1/14 - 743; Beta 1/17 - 1704 ultrasound shows nothing. Officially a miscarriage. 1/21 Beta 3900 Dr. says it ectopic. Ultrasound shows a miracle heartbeat right in the uterus where it belongs! Dr. says I can be cautiously optomistic!!! Hang in there baby!
    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/2pye4xi.jpg[/IMG
    ]

    Make a pregnancy ticker
  • ::hugs::

    I am so sorry.

    Thinking of you guys. 

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

  • I am so sorry sweets.  There is nothing fair about IF, nothing!

     

    ((Hugs)) 

    DH:41 Me:33

    Dx: MFI (very low everything)

    IVF/ICSI Only Option



    IVF #1 (antagonist): 01/2011: 9ER; 8M; 5FN; 3(3dt) = BFN

    IVF #2 (agonist): 05/2011: 13ER; 12M; 8FN; 2(3dt) = BFP (1 frostie)

    +HPT 8dp3dt; Betas: #1 12dp3dt=174; #2 19dp3dt=3461; u/s 7w5d = heterotopic pregnancy = 2 D&Cs for uterine (Trisomy 16) and meds to dissolve ectopic

    IVF #3 (agonist w BCP): 12/2011: 10ER; 9M; 8FN; 2(5dt)= BFP (2 frosties)

    +HPT 4dp5dt; Betas: #1 9dp5dt=363; #2 11dp5dt=896; B/G Twins - c/s at 37wks2d due to HELLP Syndrome


    [IMG]http://i51.tinypic.com/fuxhc.jpg[/IMG]
  • koynkoyn member
    I am so so sorry hun.  ((hugs))
    [IMG]http://i33.tinypic.com/5eajxc.jpg[/IMG]


    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/2w23684.jpg[/IMG]



    TTC since 6/2006, IFVet


    My sweet beautiful girls born at 30 weeks 5 days do to pre-e

    2 lbs 11oz, 14in & 2lbs 14oz 16in

    >
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