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What was your experience
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Hope and I am SAHM and Air Force wife. My husband and I recently welcomed our first child into the world. She is now 7.5 weeks old.
Something has been bothering me for the past week and I figured this was the board to approach about it. The OBs at our base clinic have been really pushy in regards to us starting some form of birth control. At my 6 week pp appointment we finally told them we were electing to forego bc at this point in time, as my husband and I are both 27 and would like to be done having our 3 children by the time we are 30 for numerous reasons. Considering that my husband deployes frequently, there is a lot of time that is lost, so we do not want to waist any more of what little time there is to conceive. We know that may mean that I wind up pregnant within the month, but there is still the possibility that it takes much longer as well. When we told the doc our decison about bc she lectured us on how dangerous it is to have back to back pregnancies and that the second pregnancy will be even more difficult since my body has not returned to normal yet.
What was your experience? Was your second pregnancy more difficult on your body? Or is the OB just trying to scare us. My grandmother had "Irish Twins" and my thinking has always been that if women's bodies weren't able to handle pregnancies that close together, then women wouldn't become fertile again so soon after delivery, but now I'm questioning this.
Something has been bothering me for the past week and I figured this was the board to approach about it. The OBs at our base clinic have been really pushy in regards to us starting some form of birth control. At my 6 week pp appointment we finally told them we were electing to forego bc at this point in time, as my husband and I are both 27 and would like to be done having our 3 children by the time we are 30 for numerous reasons. Considering that my husband deployes frequently, there is a lot of time that is lost, so we do not want to waist any more of what little time there is to conceive. We know that may mean that I wind up pregnant within the month, but there is still the possibility that it takes much longer as well. When we told the doc our decison about bc she lectured us on how dangerous it is to have back to back pregnancies and that the second pregnancy will be even more difficult since my body has not returned to normal yet.
What was your experience? Was your second pregnancy more difficult on your body? Or is the OB just trying to scare us. My grandmother had "Irish Twins" and my thinking has always been that if women's bodies weren't able to handle pregnancies that close together, then women wouldn't become fertile again so soon after delivery, but now I'm questioning this.
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Re: What was your experience
Our DS was just 2.5 months old when we got pregnant with our second. My OB gave me the same information at our 6w pp check up about the dangers of close pregnancies and the recomendation to wait longer. We declined the BC and BFP soon followed. When going back to the OB he seemed far less concerned than I expected. I acctually had a CS with my first and am scheduled for my repeat this Tuesday (3 weeks shy of 1 year).
I do have to say for the pregnancy itself it has been harder the 2nd time around, although I think some if it comes from the pains of the CS scar stretching and chasing around baby becoming mobile in the 3rd tri.
Good Luck!!!
I was much like you and your DH, I wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 30, so we opted to choose roughly an 18 month span between children and start when I was 23 (had DS1 6 days after I turned 24). Well we finished with flying colors, baby #5 was here 3 months before I turned 30! I wouldn't have minded having the children closer together but I waned to nurse, and that kept me from ovulating (that isn't the case for everyone though). My OB never said anything to me about having the kids so close together, and we did not opt for BC because I didn't want to lose my milk supply, it just happened when it was meant to be!
I'm not saying that there are no issues with close pregnancies, but I did not experience any of them. I *think* if you are older, had a csection, had complications with your first pregnancy or multiples that your chances of having a rough second pregnancy increase, but I'm not 100% on that. GL with your choice.
It's up to you what you want to do. If you want to get pregnant right away, then go for it. That being said, pregnancy is not easy, and there are many complications that can come with it. Most people go on to have very healthy pregnancies and healthy babies, but there's always a risk. I have seen some seriously sick people during pregnancy, caused from pregnancy related complications.
I work as an L&D nurse and see all sorts of things, good and bad. Did you have any complications with your pregnancy or delivery? Did you have a vag delivery or c-section? Those are also things to take into consideration. I don't think your doc pushing birth control is right, but explaining some risks of back to back pregnancies is warranted. You and DH go from here and make the decision based on the info you have.
To answer some questions: I had a fairly easy pregnancy compared to some. However, there were complications during the delivery. It was a vaginal delivery, but my daughter was in the OP position and would not flip over like most babies do. Because of that she wound up getting her forehead stuck on my pubic bone. After 4.5 hours of continuous pushing without any progression, the OB finally decided to do a 3rd degree episiotomy and use the forceps.
That being said, thank you all for your input. It really is helpful to hear from women who have successfully had pregnancies that are close together.
My OB with my first recommended 1 year between pregnancies. Your body does need time to recover, not just from the birth experience (vag or c-section) but also to rebuild stores of nutrients that might have been depleted from sharing with the baby, letting the uterine wall heal where the placenta was attached, etc.
That said, we were pregnant again when DD1 was about 10.5 months old, and it was planned. I also want to be done by 30. We had DD1 at 25 and DD2 at 27, which gives us time to wait and decide if/when we want a third. My pregnancies were complication free with the exception of gestational diabetes both times, and I had long inductions but easy deliveries. After my second, they did recommend a larger gap before we have a third to let my body heal and let my hormones/cycle regulate again. That was a new practice to me, and they recommend at least 1.5 years between pregnancies no matter the situation.
DD1 Feb 2010
DD2 Sept 2011
I was given the green light to ttc at my 6 week checkup. My doctor did not warn me of a tougher second pregnancy. He did say there was a higher risk of uterine rupture but he said that the overall risk of that happening was extremely low (less than 1%). He also mentioned a higher risk of nutrients being depleted, but said my risk level for that was low since I was not nursing, was young and healthy. They ran bloodwork at my first appointment and everything was fine.
My second pregnancy was easier than my first, though I think that was because I worked full time and had a long commute whereas I worked very part time and got to rest a lot during the day with my second pregnancy. My second delivery was tougher, but that was for reasons unrelated to closely spaced pregnancies. Honestly, if I could go back in time I would have had them even closer together. It's been a great experience.
If I were you, I would question your OB again why to wait. I asked lots of questions about the various complications and how often my OB saw them in closely spaced pregnancies before making my decision. Your OB may also be making that recommendation due to your personal health history so I would make sure I really understood why it was necessary to wait.
GL with whatever you decide!
My first was high risk and bed rest for pre term labor, I really struggled with gaining weight. I had an easy delivery at 38 weeks vag delivery (6 pounds) and easy/quick recovery
My second pg was a breeze (no complications) but I was super uncomfortable. I delivered at 38 weeks an 8 pound baby, very quick vag delivery and a very long recovery....I bleed the entire 6 weeks a lot.
Overall I do think it took a toll on my body. I could ebfed DD until I got pg with DS, and had an abundance of milk. Bfing DS was horrible. It was easier this time around because I knew what I was doing but my body was so stressed and tired that I had mastitis 5x in 3 months and just couldn't do it anymore. The entire recovery process was just terrible because I couldn't rest. I had to lift a baby in/out of a high chair 3 or more times a day and my OB was telling me not to even lift a laundry basket. I also struggled with anxiety the first 3 months because I really had two small babies except one was mobile and could get hurt or destroy my house while I was changing a diaper and I was all alone.
It is much better now and honestly I would do close spacing again but I know what to expect and could better prepare for it mentally and physically.
Edit: I got pg with DS while on mini pill, ebfing, and never having AF. He was not planned but a great gift.
We were told that we should wait at least 6 months before getting pregnant again. I laughed because DD was IVF and I was like "okay, yea, right". Well... 7 months later I was pregnant with DS. I wasn't on BC but I was nursing.
It is true that back-to-back pregnancies are not the safest thing. Instead of asking a message board of women who have 2u2 (because honestly, it isn't really a fair sample, most of us have been lucky and had two healthy babies) I would talk to your OB and ask a lot of questions. And be open minded about what they say. They aren't trying to squash your dreams, they are responsible for your and your future babies' safety.
I understand the military lifestyle - my DH is Navy - but I don't think it means you have to pop out kids every year for 3 years. Honestly, I have done a deployment with 2u2 and it was HARD. Make sure you look at this from every angle before having 2u2 + pregnancy and a deployed hubby.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
To be fair, I despise being pregnant, but my second pregnancy was significantly worse than my first. I had hyperemesis and was chasing a crazy toddler from the get go. I would not choose to do that again if given the choice, though we love our son to pieces. That being said, the Hyperemesis was just bad luck and not caused by the two pregnancies close together.
For me, having 2u2 so far (almost 3 weeks in) is extremely difficult and I often think that I wouldn't mind going back to vomiting constantly if it meant I could sleep for longer than 1 hour at a stretch or that my toddler could go back to her sweet, non-jealous self for a little longer. I couldn't face doing this with a deployed husband. Although I know that I'm probably just not cut out for it and some women are.
Best of luck with your decision!
We got pregnant with DD2 when DD1 was 8mo old. It was planned. DD2 was born 5 weeks early so they ended up 15 1/2 mo apart.
Physically, it wasn't horrible. But I did start having the typical pregnancy pains much, much earlier than with DD1. Not to mention, the exhaustion was a lot worse since I was chasing around a very small baby!
Having 2u2 was difficult, but DD2 was a HORRIBLE baby and screamed her lungs out for 7 months. Seriously - she was awful for 7 full months. I cried all the time because I couldn't believe what I had gotten myself into. However, now she is a perfect angel and of course now that the hard part is over, I love their age difference.
3u3 is a different story. DD2 and DS1 (my newest baby) are 20 months apart. (So LO1 and LO3 are a little less than 3 years apart) WOW. My 3rd pregnancy was awful. There were not any serious complications, but WOW the pain. I was constantly in pain. My hips, my pelvis felt like it was going to split in half, the back pain...everything. It was physically exhausting. I love DS (and obviously I wouldn't change having him), but I wouldn't recommend 3u3. I know some people have had different experiences so I think it just varies from person to person. But if someone asked ME for MY advice, I'd say no-go on the 3u3. I only mention the 3u3 thing since you said you might consider 3 in 3 years. It's hard. I'm almost 3 weeks in with a husband who farms and is currently harvesting and basically non-existent as a dad right now....it's hard. Really, really, really hard. I can't imagine how much harder it would be with a deployed hubby. Really think about that part.
In your situation, with your DH possibly being deployed, my advice is to think not so much about the pregnancy (although it may be difficult) and think about the mentally and emotionally exhausting time with 2u2 once baby arrives.
Either way, good luck with your decision.