2nd baby milestones

EMOmamma · August 2012

I feel like I'm kind of failing my DD. My DS was rolling both ways at 3.5 months and she just turned 3 months and is not even close to rolling one way. She can push up and hold her head but really just has no interest. I know it could just be different babies but part of it feels like it's my fault. (and I know I shouldn't compare but like that's possible!)

With my son (now 21months) I was able to spend all of his awake time playing with him, doing tummy time, singing, but with this 2nd baby I only get quality 1on1 time with her when he is napping. So she only gets like 1 hour per day of mom time. Now that I'm back to work that only happens on the weekends too. Because DS is so rambunctious I can't just set her on the floor for tummy time if I'm not literally hovering over her.

I don't even know what I'm asking for, I guess this is just a vent. Maybe if someone could tell me that she won't always be behind in milestones.

BeebopandBuddy · August 2012

I know it's hard not to compare but you really shouldn't, every kid is completely different. My mother said I didn't walk until 18 months and my brother did by 8 months. That's how vastly different they can be. You have to just do the best you can with the time that you have and not beat yourself up about it. Think about moms with 4 or 5 kids, they are stretched for time too but that doesn't mean their kids won't develop just fine. Do the best you can, that's all that you can do.

MammaBear81 · August 2012

delaine0821:
I know it's hard not to compare but you really shouldn't, every kid is completely different. My mother said I didn't walk until 18 months and my brother did by 8 months. That's how vastly different they can be. You have to just do the best you can with the time that you have and not beat yourself up about it. Think about moms with 4 or 5 kids, they are stretched for time too but that doesn't mean their kids won't develop just fine. Do the best you can, that's all that you can do.

I have to agree with this. #1 walked at 10 month, #2 walked at 18 months, #3 walked at 14 months. Birth order didn't matter, it is more about the WANT to move than anything else... #2 was VERY happy just hanging out in one spot.

Also you can do tummy time (supervised of course) on a bed or couch so your older one will not trample the younger one, or you can set up a gate or PNP for the LO to be in. There are always time to squeeze things in, some days you just have to get creative! GL

JaysonandKristin · August 2012

Do not compare your kids. #2 still has 2 weeks to "catch up" to #1 anyways. Do you know how quickly kids grasp things? It's unbelievable that 3 weeks ago my DS1 had a language explosion, and now has an incredible vocabulary. If you had told me this would be the case a month ago, I would've laughed. You can't possibly predict whether or not a kid will reach a milestone at any age.

DS2 has been taking steps for 6 weeks now. He's still not walking. It doesn't mean anything.

But, to my original point, you cannot compare your kids. What's the point? Guilt? Worry? There is a general age range at which kids are supposed to reach milestones. Unless your child has passed that window, you are focusing on something that is absolutely pointless.

You can put your LO down. #1 needs to be taught boundaries and how to interact with #2. Yes, there will be accidents, but a bonk on the head with a toy isn't the end of the world. Stepping on a foot or a hand isn't the end of the world. Teach patience and being gentle while supervising play. You can't protect them from each other forever. If you're that concerned, only put out LO2's toys while you have them playing together. Supervise, but don't hover. Try to direct the play when it seems like LO1 is getting bored -- that's when the creativity leads to injury in my experience.

Set up a safe zone for LO2. Keep LO1 out of it. When they're older they'll both need their own space at times, why not start now? They need to play together, but they'll also need to learn to respect each other's space.

laura1 · August 2012

I don't think it has anything to do with you. My kids were VERY different in when they met their milestones. DD was so happy to sit and watch what was going on. She rarely even rolled until she was over 10 months old (she could do it, just didn't feel like it). She didn't crawl until she was 11.5 months old, but then walked 1.5 months later at 13 months. DS rolled both ways early, crawled at 7 months, but then didn't walk until 15 months.

Your second is learning so much just by watching #1. DD's favorite activity was to see what her brother was doing. They don't need you to keep them entertained like you did with #1 - you have built in entertainment this time around!

And I agree with the others - when you are playing with #1, put #2 down for tummy time then. My DS used to like to lay next to her and do tummy time with her Smile If I was going to not be right there, I would set her up in the pnp or behind a baby gate so DS couldn't get to her. Honestly, I think you are doing just fine. Your #2 might be so interested in what her brother is doing that she just wants to watch for now!

And to make you feel better, I think 3.5 months is super early to be rolling both ways. I don't think either of mine rolled in both directions consistently until 6 months. And they seem just fine now Wink

bellelamb · August 2012

Our kids seem to be the same ages, and I feel the same way. I know it's hard not to compare and feel bad but try not to, like pp said every kid is different. Plus my baby started rolling this week and is doing it like crazy now 3.5 months so don't worry it could happen when you least expect.

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