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Play dates & biting, pushing, etc

amr1218amr1218 member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

DD went to play with a friend on Saturday.  DD is 11 mo., the friend is a few weeks older.  They were really cute together, but the friend pushed DD down a few times, and kept trying to bite her.  I don't think DD really knew what to do - so she would crawl to me, pout for a second, and then go back to playing.  The other mom did verbally correct her child.

I figure this is pretty normal for their ages. But, I am curious - at play dates, do you correct other people's children if their parent doesn't jump in?  What do you do if your kid is the biter/pusher or the kid who is getting pushed around?  How do you navigate this situation without offending other parents, overreacting, or encouraging 'Baby WWE'. 

I have watched way more dog behavior shows (like Its me or the dog) than baby behavior shows (like the nanny).  So I know what to do at the dog park - just not at play dates.  :)

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Re: Play dates & biting, pushing, etc

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    EveryNameIWantIsTakenEveryNameIWantIsTaken member
    It really depends on who it is.  If it's my sister's child, yes I step in.  She'd do the same.  If it's just a playdate friend, but not someone I'm super close with, no simply because I don't like stepping on other people's toes.  If it continued to happen and the mom kept ignoring for multiple play dates, I'd probably start avoiding them.  I'm not much for confrontation and parenting is such a personal thing.
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    DarthNBJenniDarthNBJenni
    Ditto the previous poster. Sometimes I'll remove my kid from the situation. With my older girls it's more of a "hey, why don't you guys go play with that instead?" and with the baby, I'll just pick him up and play with him on my lap.

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    preggersin2011preggersin2011 member
    I think the fact that the children are under two yrs of age changes how one should respond in this situation. it is just something children do and I ignore LO's reactions when it happens. the other parent(s) has always corrected their child, but at their age i don't think it actually can mean anything in their cognitive reasoning. usually distraction is the best idea. LO pushes and shoves back and is used to the 'rough' behavior from school. sometimes you have to pull the kids apart too.
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    melissa0726melissa0726 member

    I haven't been in this situation with a child the same age as DD, but I have encountered it with an older toddler in the 2-3 year old range.  If I feel like the other kid is getting rough - intentionally or not - I have no problem saying, "please try to remember to be careful while playing with her, she is smaller than you."  If I really feel like the play is too rough, I pull her up on my lap and remove her from playing with the others for a little bit.

    That said, my LO can get a aggressive.  It is the age and they are all testing different boundaries, and I know they don't know any better.  If she is doing something that may be hurtful to others, like pinching or trying to touch their faces, I pick her up and try to redirect her.

    FWIW, if another parent had a problem with me stepping in and trying to diffuse rough play between the kids, they probably aren't someone we would get together with again in the future.  I really don't have any issue with other parents redirecting my child if what she is doing could be harmful to herself or others.

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