I hate BFing :(

adoxyinherear · August 2012

DD has latch issues so we're having to use a shield. She still manages to bite me through it, and I swear every couple of feedings it's like she completely forgets what we're doing and we're back at square one. If we can just get past the 2 week mark I won't feel quite as terrible about EPing, but honestly, I'll still feel terrible. I just want this to work. Why is something we've both evolved to do so excruciating?

charmedgrl517 · August 2012

Ahh girlie I'm right there with you! : last night was horrible, she just wanted to eat and eat and eat which worries me that I'm not doing something right. She is also biting me and sometimes when she latches, she fights me! Its so frustrating, I just want it to work too and I really want to pump but know its early. She also gets so sleepy when feeding we constantly have to do things to keep her awake . I'm starting to get so sore. I hope BFing gets easier for both if us! Ps im not much help lol but if u ever want to talk u can always text me : I keep my phone on vibrate mostly so it doesn't wake anybody up and just check it when I can :

JulyMomma2U2 · August 2012

I had so many struggles with DS and BFing.. he never seemed satisfied.. had such a hard time latching correctly.. I was in excruciating pain (bleeding, skin peeling off, etc).. it was bad. I gave up before the 2 week mark and started EPing.. and that only lasted about a week.. DS also had major belly issues, and once I started EPing, I had to supplement with formula, too.. so, that was a big part of why I had stopped, too..

It's hard.. and it's definitely not for everyone.. I know posting on TB made me feel super guilty quitting because there are SO many women here who successfully were able to make it work.. but, in my heart, I had to do what was right for DS and myself..

I would say, if you want to wait to the two weeks.. that's great.. but, don't put that much stress and pressure on yourself.. it's okay if it doesn't work out. Really. Your little E will be just fine if you have to FF or bottle feed and EP (just be prepared, that's a ton of work!)..

(((hugs)))

big_noise · August 2012

It's hard. Hang in there. I hated it too at the beginning. We only had latch issues on the left side, but our nursing sessions lasted forEVER. It literally felt like that was all I did. Have you seen a LC? Hopefully they can help you get rid of the shield. Also, I put lanolin cream on the nips after every session, religiously, and wore pads all the time. Def. helped heal the girls a bit b/t sessions.

piedpiper07 · August 2012

I hated it too, and honestly was about to post something similar, 3 months in. I have had nothing but issues from the beginning! It did get noticeably better around 6 weeks/2 months but if you don't want to stick it out that long don't feel bad at all!!

october_artist · August 2012

HANG IN THERE! Seriously, I have no troubles now at 15 weeks, and lemme tell you -- holy crap the first 10 days were extremely challenging, even up to the 3 week mark was difficult due to growth spurts, and at first a bad latch that damaged my nips. Don't be hard on yourself, it can be so so so challenging! LO has to learn just as you do too.

Through my hospital I was offered two home visits by a lactation consultant and that was my saving grace. She noticed my LO's bottom lip was getting sucked in and she showed me how to easily correct that. Check and see if you are offered the same? Even just call your hospital and ask if there are lactation consultants you can speak with over the phone for support. Lanolin cream, and breast shells under your shirt (around the house) until you heal will do wonders. It is not easy, I thought BFing would be this natural, quick to learn thing but really it had quite the curve. Now we are smooth sailing but it was not like that immediately. Reach out, contact your local LLL, you can do it!!!!

luvmyducks · August 2012

((hugs)) I'm sorry

It was so rough in the beginning for us also and we still have rough days.

WearingRed · August 2012

I am sorry. I wish I had better advice but once I stopped listening to the experts and doing what felt right for us. Everything just clicked it was around 2 weeks when I tossed the handbook and said well I am going to have to figure this on out on my own. Also cluster feeding sucks but normally you get some kinda longer break when they do. And the best advice I have found about when to quit is this "try for one more week and look back is it just as bad or getting better? Just as bad and you done everything you can find to fix the problem don't feel bad and quit. Getting any better try for one more week. And look back again." I found write down how I felt and how each day was helpful in the beginning as I could see the progress we made everyday.

Karen1998 · August 2012

(((Hugs))) I've so been there. As someone who EPed from 2w to a year on, I can tell you that if I could do it again, I'd suffer through the excruciating pain until it calmed down at 6-8w so I wouldn't have had to spend my life on the pump. I spent 30-40 hours a week on the pump or cleaning and sterilizing pump parts or tending the boobies (you have to do it just like you would for BF) for the first 6m of his life. It sucked. I got half the sleep I would have gotten had I just BF or FF. The pumping was in addition to all of his feedings, so it's literally twice+ the work.

Sure, I wasn't fighting back screams every time I pumped like I was while I BF, but it would have been so much easier, less time consuming and oddly enough, less stressful if I'd just suffered through BFing until we both got the hang of it. Just food for thought. Regardless, it's your child and your life, so do what you think is best for you and your child. Just remember, regardless of what route you choose, you are NOT a failure and by doing what is best for you and your child you are choosing the right path.

FWIW, most moms I know hate BFing at the point you're at. It's still new to everyone and it hurts like a mofo. The ones that stuck with it all tell me that it gets incredibly better after 6-8w. They also almost all loved it after that, even if they hated it before.

Have you seen a Lactation Consultant? Sessions with one could help with the latching issue. You can also check out La Leche League meetings, if they have some in your area. Other moms have gone to BFing support groups as well and had great luck with those.

Another thought - lanolin sucked for me. It made my nips too supple. The pedi suggested plain, unflavored chapstick. That actually worked a lot better for me than lanolin.

LoveOfMikesLife · August 2012

((hugs)) you are only 1 week out. I know it's hard. But it does get better. DS wouldn't latch on the left boob and wouldn't latch correctly on the right. I was in so much pain I cried just pulling my boobs out to feed him.

I worked with 2 different LC's and nothing they said really helped. So like wearing red said, I did what felt right for us. To correct his latch on the right instead of bringing him to my breast I would lay him flat and bend over him to get my nipple in his mouth. Once he was latched on good I could move us both to get comfy.

I also made small "goals" . One Friday my goal was to get him to latch onto my left. So every feeding I tried a little at a time to get him on. If he got frustrated I just gave him the right and when he got sleepy I would try the left again.

Its a lot of work and it hurts but give yourself sometime.

dnhosking · August 2012

Breastfeeding is SO hard. I really struggled with it at first. Ryan's latch wasn't great, and he has excellent jaw muscles. He tore me up in a couple days to the point where I screamed and cried when he latched. My poor nips were a total mess.

The only thing I can recommend is seeing an LC. I went many times the first few weeks. They gave me a game plan to work on things. First, they helped me get my nips to a better state. I got a prescription for triple nipple ointment or also known as all purpose nipple ointment (APNO). That really helped with the pain, and I EP'd for a couple days so that the scabs on my nips could heal (I fed him like a baby bird with a syringe those 2 days). Once I wasnt so distracted with the pain of it, I put him back on the boob and worked on his latch.

If you can get through the first few weeks of pain, poor latching, and cluster feeding, it really gets rewarding. We are at a point where it takes him 5 minutes to feed, and he can go about 3 hrs now without eating.

I really know how you feel. I remember having many meltdowns over how hard it was, and how I felt like such a failure. Keep working on the latch and take care of your boobies. If you ever want to talk, you know how to find me

damabo80 · August 2012

It took 5 months for DD to figure out how to latch I pumped for three months and used the shield for two months.
I have to say, it's totally worth it. Not having to worry about bottles or buy formula and know she's getting the best nutrition formula constipates her. Plus she's a comfort nurser, so as long as she has a boob in her mouth, she's one happy kid. Which is nice when she's upset and I don't know what's wrong with her.
Give it time. You're in the throes of hell right now.

melly918 · August 2012

I had a hard time with latch issues and used a shield for about 3 to 4 weeks and then weaned him off it by using the shield first and then interrupting his feeding to pull it off. I hated BFing for the first 5-6 weeks. It was painful, I would scream and cry, the cluster feedings were torture. I felt trapped in a chair with an infant using me as a pacifier. I even went through thrush twice...I didn't know it until I went to a LaLeche League support group and the LC saved me. After all of that, I grew to love BFing and nursed DS almost 18 months. You can do it too if you really want to stick with it, but I always say BFing isn't for everyone and if you truly can't do it anymore, don't be hard on yourself. ((hugs))!!

martinimomma · August 2012

It is tough, but so worth it if you can make it through this initial walk on the hot coals. Hugs!

weddedwife · August 2012

Hang in there mama! W DD I found it excruciatingly painful until about the 4 week mark. We had latch issues too; I always got "lipstick nipple" no matter what we tried but eventually it stopped hurting so I stopped caring what the experts said.

FWIW, the pump was never as effective at draining my breasts as baby was. I stopped pumping altogether for a while so I could really have LO establish my supply and not the pump.

Hang in there, it does get easier, it really does.

adoxyinherear · August 2012

Thanks so, so much for the pep talk, ladies. I'm pretty darn stubborn, so when I'm not feeling totally defeated I just plain refuse to give up. We'll get this.

johnnys june · August 2012

weddedwife:
Hang in there mama! W DD I found it excruciatingly painful until about the 4 week mark. We had latch issues too; I always got "lipstick nipple" no matter what we tried but eventually it stopped hurting so I stopped caring what the experts said. FWIW, the pump was never as effective at draining my breasts as baby was. I stopped pumping altogether for a while so I could really have LO establish my supply and not the pump. Hang in there, it does get easier, it really does.

This was me too. I used a shield for 2-3 weeks bc DD was small and coyldn't latch properly. Around the 3 week mark I tried no shield and would switch off and on based on how alert DD was. I that she got more milk without it. Still hurt like h*ll until week 4-6, but one day I just noticed it hurt significantly less. I was in tears and ready to give up so many times but I'm so glad I didn't. Hang in there, lovey. Either way, do what's right for you and your LO.

linfor2 · August 2012

I didnt need a shield but I feel for you! You'd think our lo's had teeth with as sore as it is! I hate it too.

I'm past 2 weeks so I am pumping and we are actually supplementing 1x/day with formula too. Harper wasn't up to birth weight at our 2 week appt. I feel so much better! Good Luck!!!

E3A7AGGIE · August 2012

RusalkaSings:
Thanks so, so much for the pep talk, ladies. I'm pretty darn stubborn, so when I'm not feeling totally defeated I just plain refuse to give up. We'll get this.

I like your attitude! I just wanted to add that I had a similar experience as other women have talked about. Breastfeeding is VERY difficult. I seriously thought it would be like "put baby up to boob, baby sucks". The first week for me was awful, and I wanted to give up. I dreaded each feeding. I finally did a lot of research and found photos of how a baby's mouth should look upon latching. I figured out Graham's latch was all sorts of wrong-- which also explained my sore nipples!!

We have had plenty of days of him screaming bloody murder at my boob, and me feeling so rejected. I have wanted to quit more times than I can count on both hands. I 100% have no judgements against those who chose to EP or even formula feed. All that matters is that you are both happy & healthy.

anonomity · August 2012

You have gotten some great advice, but I wanted to chime in also. If you are dedicated to making it work, hang in there! You can do it! E and I had a hell of a time getting started BFing... her latch was fine, but I had supply issues and a horrible, HORRIBLE bout of thrush that she and I both battled for nearly 12 weeks. TWELVE WEEKS! I would literally sob while feeding her, the pain was so bad. But I kept going (another stubborn one here, lol) and I am so glad I stuck it out. I think we finally turned the corner around 4 months when the thrush finally resolved and BFing was no longer painful.

As others said, you are only a week in so it is going to be bad right now. Hang in there and it WILL get better! Also, if your pain/discomfort doesn't resolve in a week or two, I would definitely ask a lactation consultant to take a look. You could have thrush or something else going on, and not know it.

GOOD LUCK! Big Smile

coastalmaine · August 2012

I totally hear you!!! Chase still won't bf so I EP...he just hasn't gotten the hang of it.

Junebug060609 · August 2012

BF is so hard, especially early on. There is a wicked learning curve, both for you and for baby. As a nurse told me in the hospital, "You both have to figure each other and this bf'ing thing out." It doesn't happen overnight, but with time you'll notice she'll have latch issues less, etc. The forgetting how to do it is par for the course, too. We used a shield at first and it took him awhile to 'get' that, and then the transition to not using it took a bit, too. It's a process. Stay the course, if you can, the rewards later on (and the ease of feeding) are worth it.

ETA: Are you seeing a LC? They would probably be a great help with everything you mentioned. If you've seen one and they weren't a help, ask for a different one. I did that in the hospital and the 3rd one was the charm...her teaching method jived perfect with how I needed to be shown.

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